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CHAPTER 3 Be the Holy Trinity of Deals: Your All-Important First Email

      With your research at your fingertips, it's now time to reach out with that all-important first email. The first thing to realize is that the emails you send are treated like spam. So how do you grab the attention of the interviewer? The same way you started reading about the Financial Crisis of 2008 and ended up scrolling pictures of NBA Players Megan Thee Stallion Has Dated: click-bait!

      Give prospective employers a reason to click through and learn more about you by creating that perfect email that will get their attention. Be different, but be succinct. Err on the side of brevity. People are busy and their return on time invested (ROTI) is critical, so value your email recipient's time as if it were more important than your own, which it is.

Make Me Give a Damn

The first thing that will catch your reader's attention is a memorable subject line that summarizes the email's key message. This leverages another cognitive bias, attentional bias, the tendency to pay attention to some things while simultaneously ignoring others. It explains a person's focus on only one or two choices, despite there also being several other possible outcomes. It's another one of those brilliant scientific acumens that translates into solid, practical advice, in this case: Nail it in a sentence! This is all the more important in this era when the average Internet user has a shorter attention span than a goldfish.¹

      Be the pitch, like you would in a once-in-a-lifetime investment opportunity. Make it short and sweet because the first and last lines of your email are likely the only ones that will be remembered. Avoid the boring, like “Applying for Position” or “Seeking Advice.” Instead, mimic the way a movie tries for a stunning logline or captivating sentence that sums up the whole shebang: “Jaws Meets Home Alone.” “Clint Eastwood in Outer Space.” “The Invisible Man Finds a Time Machine.”

      Usually if the logline sucks, so does the film, so make yours a good one. Here are some subject lines that weren't necessarily great, but did catch my attention:

      My personal favorites which would get me to prowl deeper are those that make links to common acquaintances:

      Using a mutual friend to make the connection has the power to encourage the reader to open the email and read it out of guilt or obligation—unless, of course, Matt Lin stole your wife. Or husband. But hey, snatch victory from the jaws of defeat. At least you and the recipient have the same lousy taste in friends. You can bond over that.

Watch the Trapdoors

The next step is to write the email. At this point, many job hunters experience the exact opposite of “You had me at hello!” Make the salutation respectful. If it's the initial email, I like “Dear Mr. or Ms.” because it's so retro. Hardly anyone addresses people like this anymore. It goes without saying, don't send an email without a salutation like you would a text. We aren't Gangnam Style friends on WhatsApp. Also, be professional and don't begin with “Yo” or “Hey Buddy,” or my personal anti-favorite, “Dear Mr. David A. Liu,” which clearly indicates it came from a mass email merge. Show that your email is personalized, not personal. That will appeal to the person's ego and self-love by showing them they're important.

      Here's a few more Do's and Don'ts:

If you think you're a longshot for the job, you're going to have to take chances. You might want to consider some riskier catchphrases that might hook your reader, like “If you want me, I'm yours” or “I have other options” (i.e., shit or get off the pot).

The Rule of Three

      Your goal is to provide a quick way of communicating why you're perfect for your potential employer. My favorite tactic is to use three bullet points. The Rule of Three is actually a writing tip that states a trio of points is more humorous, satisfying, or effective than other numbers. So give the impression that you're the love child of a Holy Trinity: the brains of Albert Einstein, the stamina of Optimus Prime, and the persistence of Wile E. Coyote.

      Once you get past the opening sentence, let me reiterate a word of advice: Keep it short! People don't have time to read your version of War and Peace. They're too busy four-lettering their way through work so they can get on with life and play.

      Ideally, your email will be readable on an iPhone screen in the bathroom. Yes, shocking, but you may not be someone's highest priority and the only time your target might have to scroll through your cover emails is the same place he has a chance to track his Amazon

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