LITMIR.BIZ

A book that provides us with a greater understanding of why affairs happen and offers advice on dealing with the aftermath of an affair. A practical guide with useful takeaways for everyday life. Part of a thoughtful and inclusive new Love series from The School of Life, focusing on the sorrows and joys of relationships. Beautifully produced, premium gift format.

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An average couple will have between thirty and fifty significant arguments a year—and yet we’re seldom taught very much about why they happen and how they could grow a little less intense. This is a guide to arguments in love: it teaches us why they might occur, what their symptoms are, how we could learn some wiser ways of communicating, and how we would ideally patch up after a fight. The book looks at twenty of the most common arguments—including ones about sex, money, in-laws, who is «cold» and who is «over-emotional», and the state of the bathroom and the finances. We recognize our own antics but also pick up consoling and wise ideas on how to skirt certain conflicts going forward. The tragedy of every sorry argument is that it is constructed around a horrific mismatch between the message we so badly want to send («I need you to love me, know me, agree with me») and the manner in which we are able to deliver it (with impatient accusations, sulks, put-downs, sarcasm, exaggerated gesticulations, and forceful «f*** yous»). A bad argument is a failed endeavor to communicate; this is a definitive guide to how we might argue better. "The priority is not so much to avoid points of contention as to learn to handle them in less counterproductively vindictive and more gently strategic ways. We need a lot help in order to acquire the complex art of converting our poisonous arguments into effective and compassionate dialogues."

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Dating might seem a trivial and relatively inconsequential part of love, but it is in fact key to getting into the kind of relationship that can last and help us flourish. The process we call dating sits on top of some of the largest themes of love: how to know whether or not someone is right for us; how soon to settle and how long to search; how to be at once honest and seductive; how to politely extricate oneself without causing offence. This little book is an indispensable guide to the dating process. It teaches us about the history of dating (and why the way we are dating now is so novel and so perplexing), the reason why our dating days can be so anxious, how we should discuss our past on a date, what questions we might ask a new partner, how to optimize our attempts at dating—and how to digest and overcome so-called «bad» dates. The book is at once heartfelt and perceptive and never minimizes the agony, joys, and confusions of our dating days and nights. It provides us with the ideal wise road map to the varied, sometimes delightful, sometimes daunting realities of dating. "It is so natural to want our dating days to come to an end: but we should never lose sight of the genuine merits and delights that lie closely entwined with their pains. We should continue to seek our life partner, while not ignoring the real pleasures that emerge from not yet having found them."

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Going traveling is one of the few things we undertake in a direct attempt to make ourselves happy—and frequently, in fascinating ways, we fail. We get bored, cross, anxious, or lonely. It isn’t surprising: our societies act as if going traveling were simple, just a case of handing over the right sum of money. But a satisfying journey isn’t something we can simply buy, and sadly something that should fill us with excitement can often end up being a source of angst and stress. This is the guide: not to any one destination but to travel in general. It talks to us, among other things, about how we should choose a place to go, what we might do when we get there, how we should make good moments stick in our minds and why hotel rooms can be such liberating places… In a succession of genial essays, we become students of an unexpected but vital topic: how to understand and more fully relax and enjoy (what should be) some of the finest experiences of our lives.

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It is quite normal to feel frustrated and sorrowful about aspects of modern capitalism, but realistic hope of change can seem either utopian or demented. In fact, the way that capitalism works is inherently open to alteration and improvement. This is because the problems of capitalism are, in their essence, not about money, law or politics, but about human psychology – the field of expertise of The School of Life.


As this hugely original essay argues, the path to a better sort of capitalism starts with a clear-eyed understanding of our emotional functioning and the workings of our psyches.

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We don’t think we hate cheap things – but we frequently behave as if we rather do. Consider the clean cotton t-shirt.


We wouldn't regard this as a particularly stylish fashion choice, and certainly not as a glamorous one. We are unlikely to stare wistfully at a cotton t-shirt in a shop window, or buy one in anticipation of a special event. We don't luxuriate in the feel of the fabric when we pull the freshly laundered garment over our head – yet Louis XVI would have been deeply impressed by this rare and decadent phenomenon.


The t-shirt itself has not changed; only our attitude to it. When we have to pay a lot for something nice, we appreciate it to the full. Yet as its market price falls, passion has a habit of fading away. It’s a pattern that we see recurring in a range of areas – and it’s a cultural misfortune. We need to rethink our patterns of consumption.


This entertainingly informative book considers how to do so, and shows how more of the things we could love are already to hand. We might be surprised to find that we are already a good deal richer than we are encouraged to think.

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• An outline for a new kind of wedding ceremony based on psychological theory rather than religious traditions.
• Includes practical instruction for marriage preparation, as well as advice for married life.
• Inner pocket containing Order of Service booklet (including suggested vows and readings) and emotional prenuptial contract.
• Gender neutral and non-heteronormative.
• Beautifully produced, high end gift format. Royal-blue cover and page trim, gold foil embossed title, blue endpapers and gold ribbon.
• Illustrated with full colour images.

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• A guide to the purpose and meaning of psychotherapy that normalises and demystifies a useful but misunderstood practice.
• Challenges the misconception of ‘innate’ qualities and explores the role of psychotherapy in correcting our learnt behaviour.
• Identifies four key areas of ourselves in greatest need of repair and work:
– Self-Love
– Candour
– Communication
– Trust
• Debunks myths and addresses traditional causes of suspicion surrounding therapy, instead outlining realistic potential outcomes using case studies as examples.
• Beautifully produced, premium gift format.

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Our societies frequently proclaim their enormous esteem for culture. Music, film, literature and the visual arts enjoy high prestige and are viewed by many as getting close to the meaning of life. But what is culture really for?


This book proposes that works of culture were all made, in one way or another, with the idea of improving the way we live. The book connects a range of cultural masterpieces with our own pains and dilemmas around love, work and society, and invites us to see culture as a resource with which to address the complex agonies of being human. It provides us with enduring keys to unlocking culture as a way of transforming our lives.

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▪ A reference book of the greatest, and most useful, ideas of our time. ▪ The canon of The School of Life, a gallery of the individuals from across the millennia who have shaped the intellectual project of The School of Life. ▪ Beautifully produced, premium gift format with ribbon marker and belly band. ▪ Original colour illustrations for each thinker. ▪ The ultimate resource for those seeking both answers and inspiration. ▪ Series edited by the founder of The School of Life, Alain de Botton – author of several bestselling books including How Proust Can Change Your Life, The Consolations of Philosophy and The Course of Love. ▪ Shrink-wrapped.

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