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Юмористические стихи
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Аннотация
Die verteller in hierdie verhale, Oom Gysbert, se stories speel af op plase en dorpe in die Karoo. Die skrywer skep spanning met ingehoue humor en die verhale eindig dikwels op verassende wyse. Hy vertel van die eenvoudige Boggie wat in die hospitaal begin boer het sodat hy vroegtydig weet wanneer die volgende begrafnis gaan plaasvind. Dan is daar ook die suinige tant Geesie wat haar suiker in die vallei van ‘n duisend heuwels van haar boesem bewaar. En die dag van die mampoernagmaal.
Аннотация
Onder die storievertellers is PG du Plessis ’n gerekende en bekende. Nie net op die TV of van die verhoog af nie, maar ook in koerantrubrieke en in die bundels wat reeds in boekvorm verskyn het. Baie van die stories is oorgewerk vir die TV en het in ‘n ander medium gestalte gekry (soos die onsterflike reeks Koöperasie-stories). Het olifante elmboë en Neklis, twee van sy vroegste kort-kortverhaalbundels, gaan nou onder ’n nuwe titel gesamentlik (en met nuwe verhale bygeskryf) ’n heruitgawe beleef. Die titel van die samestelling kom uit die ou slinger-luie van plaas-oproepe: Kortetjies en ‘n lange. Maar nét ‘n heruitgawe is dit nie, want PG het, in sy eie woorde, “aan party stories gepeuter” – onder meer aan dié wat hy tydens sy verhoog-optredes (eers saam met Alexa Strachan en later met Ollie Viljoen, Valiant Swart en Pietman Geldenhuys) vertel het. Van hulle, so sê hy, het hy nou effens in die rêrige verteltrant van ’n verhoog af oorgeskryf, aangedik en verander – want die beperking van die koerante en tydskrifte was van sy nek af. Hulle lees dus anders, ligter en soms uitgesponne vir ’n eerste-aanhoor-verstaan. Dus trek die bepeuterdes allermins op “well-made”, gekristalliseerde kort-kortverhale. Dalk kan mens hulle, in die ware sin van die woord (weer uit PG se mond uit) rêrige bek-vertellings noem. Maar daar is ook die lange by: ’n rasegte kortverhaal wat met sy een voet in die Anglo-Boere-oorlog staan en met die ander een so tussen 1948 en vandag. “Ons mond”, heet hy en aan hom is daar nie ’n jota of tittel verander nie, omdat die verhaal – volgens PG – te waar van sy lewe en te heel in homself is.
Аннотация
A is for Airship, for flying is keen. B is for Boiler, turning water to steam. A Cats Steampunk Alphabet is for the velocipede lover in all of us … seen through cunning feline eyes!
Аннотация
The Little Book of Rambling Rhymes
Аннотация
This is a humorous account of a gay man who uses his charm, great legs and twinkly blue eyes to enable his unique financial life plan, a plan whose initial phase consists of getting women to fall like ninepins at his feet before the fleecing begins. The only problems he has is with gay men who not only fail to fall but can’t understand why women do. The devastation he leaves behind him leads to his running away when the devastated ones cause problems. That is why he is the Gingerbread Man whom no-one can catch.
Аннотация
These are the REAL stories about growing up in the 1950's South. This is NOT Maybury, with Aunt Bea, this real family includes a stripper, a mad scientist, a pilot, a call girl, a presidential candidate and a Russian wife. And that is just one side of the family.
Аннотация
How do I say thank you to such a dear friend? A long-time intercessor, Marilyn has been faithful in prayer support for me for most of my life. She remembers being part of a group of women who were praying in the kitchen for me, while I was in the living room learning some of the basics about being a real Christian. When I visited her a few years ago, we were closing our time together with a prayer. After the “Amen”, she looked directly at me and said, “I think you're going to write a book!” I leaned back and laughed, “No way!” I hadn't written much of anything. I couldn't begin to imagine what I could possibly write about. But we prayed again for the Lord's will to be done. Over the next several months, some ideas began to come to my mind about “coincidences” and amazing answers to prayer that had occurred in my life. I also recalled some heartwarming remembrances of lessons learned and tender experiences in the lives of some of my family, friends, and neighbors. Recently, I started writing them down, beginning with the story, “Lunch with Connie.” In this book you will find some of my favorite stories about some of my favorite people – my family and friends. A few of the stories are rather new, while others have been around for generations. Word for word, as they appear here, many of these tales could have been written by my husband or our daughters. The tales are as true as a 70 plus year old memory can recall.
Lynn Stannard
Lynn Stannard
Аннотация
In 1975, I was fifteen years old and cruising through life without a worry in the world. Life was about football and music, AC/DC’s High Voltage LP cranked up to full blast on my sister’s portable record player. 1975 was a good year.
Twenty years later, I found myself living in Tokyo, and still without any major worries to show that I had grown up. I hadn't carved out a stellar career in business or as a family man with a home, two cars and a dog. I hadn't travelled the world beyond my regular trips back to Australia for Christmas. I was happy to go to work, have a drink with friends on weekends, and mark my time until I would return to Australia as a retiree and live out the rest of my days as a withered old soul on Queensland’s Sunshine Coast.
But then one day I woke up and I was forty-four years old. The universe suddenly turned on me. My partner of five years suggested we get married, which actually sounded like a good idea. Then, naturally, she suggested we start a family, as our biological clocks were ticking down – hers for childbearing and mine for child-rearing: arthritic knees. Again: not a bad idea? But, as nothing seemed to happen, she suggested we buy an apartment and commit ourselves to a double-income-no-kids mortgage, which we did. That, of course, did the trick and in a matter of months, we were pregnant. I was about to turn forty-six.
We're Pregnant and I Can't Speak Japanese is my log of the months I spent as an expectant father tagging along on my wife’s pregnancy. For the first time in my life, my future was directly going to affect someone else’s future, which was a frightening thought. 1975 seemed like a long time ago.
Twenty years later, I found myself living in Tokyo, and still without any major worries to show that I had grown up. I hadn't carved out a stellar career in business or as a family man with a home, two cars and a dog. I hadn't travelled the world beyond my regular trips back to Australia for Christmas. I was happy to go to work, have a drink with friends on weekends, and mark my time until I would return to Australia as a retiree and live out the rest of my days as a withered old soul on Queensland’s Sunshine Coast.
But then one day I woke up and I was forty-four years old. The universe suddenly turned on me. My partner of five years suggested we get married, which actually sounded like a good idea. Then, naturally, she suggested we start a family, as our biological clocks were ticking down – hers for childbearing and mine for child-rearing: arthritic knees. Again: not a bad idea? But, as nothing seemed to happen, she suggested we buy an apartment and commit ourselves to a double-income-no-kids mortgage, which we did. That, of course, did the trick and in a matter of months, we were pregnant. I was about to turn forty-six.
We're Pregnant and I Can't Speak Japanese is my log of the months I spent as an expectant father tagging along on my wife’s pregnancy. For the first time in my life, my future was directly going to affect someone else’s future, which was a frightening thought. 1975 seemed like a long time ago.
Аннотация
When a seventy-something astrologer, well-known for his razor-sharp intuition and celestial insights, decides to get his first dog, he is in for the surprise of his life. You see, this Fox Terrier turns out to be a healer and a mind-reader. And the dog talks to his owner. Join the journey of Mr. Darby and his owner whom he calls a lot of descriptive names as they both make major adjustments to each other.
Like how to get Mr. Darby not to poo and pee in the house; fights about eating schedules–but most stand-offs are about control and manipulation.
Just when you think you've heard everything, this 3 year-old terrier will have you laughing at yourself, crying in some parts and you might even get rip roaring mad with his political bias. You'll meet Scott and his dog Riggs who becomes Mr. Darby's best friend.
Mr. D. will tell you who he thinks is going to be the next President of the United States and why.
This Wire Fox Terrier has the solution for the economic problems around the world.
He'll tell you about his past lives and why he chose his present owner. Although his Dada (yes, another name he calls his owner) has written many books and has a well-respected career as a counselor and media personality, Mr. Darby wants you to know that From the Dog's Mouth is his book and not Mister G.'s. Let me be upfront from first growl: I refer to my lord and master as Daddy or Dada because although he has never had a pet or raised two-legged kids, he has done his best to whip me into shape, make me abide by his rules and do what I am told. Sometimes I call him mon père or il mio papà, even simply Mister G. He and I have become co-healers in his practice as a therapist. He counsels thousands of men, women and children as an intuitive, using Carl Jung and astrology to wring the truth out of them, and to tell them what the world looks like through his lens. Thank God Dada learned how to read my mind, or as his momma Maggie would say, “listen to me,” so he could channel my thoughts for this book.
Like how to get Mr. Darby not to poo and pee in the house; fights about eating schedules–but most stand-offs are about control and manipulation.
Just when you think you've heard everything, this 3 year-old terrier will have you laughing at yourself, crying in some parts and you might even get rip roaring mad with his political bias. You'll meet Scott and his dog Riggs who becomes Mr. Darby's best friend.
Mr. D. will tell you who he thinks is going to be the next President of the United States and why.
This Wire Fox Terrier has the solution for the economic problems around the world.
He'll tell you about his past lives and why he chose his present owner. Although his Dada (yes, another name he calls his owner) has written many books and has a well-respected career as a counselor and media personality, Mr. Darby wants you to know that From the Dog's Mouth is his book and not Mister G.'s. Let me be upfront from first growl: I refer to my lord and master as Daddy or Dada because although he has never had a pet or raised two-legged kids, he has done his best to whip me into shape, make me abide by his rules and do what I am told. Sometimes I call him mon père or il mio papà, even simply Mister G. He and I have become co-healers in his practice as a therapist. He counsels thousands of men, women and children as an intuitive, using Carl Jung and astrology to wring the truth out of them, and to tell them what the world looks like through his lens. Thank God Dada learned how to read my mind, or as his momma Maggie would say, “listen to me,” so he could channel my thoughts for this book.
