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The Return of the Charlie Monsters. John R. Erickson
Читать онлайн.Название The Return of the Charlie Monsters
Год выпуска 0
isbn 9781591887638
Автор произведения John R. Erickson
Жанр Учебная литература
Серия Hank the Cowdog
Издательство Ingram
The Return of the Charlie Monsters
John R. Erickson
Illustrations by Gerald L. Holmes
Maverick Books, Inc.
Publication Information
MAVERICK BOOKS
Published by Maverick Books, Inc.
P.O. Box 549, Perryton, TX 79070
Phone: 806.435.7611
www.hankthecowdog.com
Published in the United States of America by Maverick Books, Inc., 2014
Copyright © John R. Erickson, 2014
All rights reserved
Maverick Books, Inc. Paperback ISBN: 978-1-59188-163-6
Hank the Cowdog® is a registered trademark of John R. Erickson.
Printed in the United States of America
Except in the United States of America, this book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not, by way of trade or otherwise, be lent, re-sold, hired out, or otherwise circulated without the publisher’s prior consent in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition including this condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.
Dedication
To Scot and Tina, May God bless their marriage.
Contents
Chapter One Case Number RA-VS 2335
Chapter Two A Turkey Alert
Chapter Three The Invisible Trick
Chapter Four I Fool the Cat, Hee Hee
Chapter Five Oops
Chapter Six Drover’s Court Martial
Chapter Seven Poisoned
Chapter Eight Anything For the Kids
Chapter Nine Big Trouble
Chapter Ten The Charlie Conspiracy
Chapter Eleven The Plot Plottens
Chapter Twelve Incredible Finish, Just Incredible
Chapter One: Case Number RA-VS 2335
It’s me again, Hank the Cowdog. When the sun came up that morning, I had no idea what lay ahead—that we would face a full-scale, two-pronged invasion by the Charlie Monsters, that they would try to bump me off with a poisoned egg, or that my relationship with Sally May would hit an all-time low.
What we’re looking at here is one of the scariest stories of my whole career, but before we go any farther, let’s take care of some ranch business. See, once we get into the scary parts, I might forget to tell you that this is Case Number RA-VS 2335.
It’s important that you know the case number and maybe you’re wondering why it’s so important. The answer might surprise you. It’s so important, I can’t tell you why it’s so important. It’s Classified Information, and we’re talking about a Heavy Duty Keep-Your-Trap-Shut kind of secret.
All you need to know is that the Security Division has a numbering system and we keep records on all our cases. We’re allowed to reveal the case number and that’s about it. If you’re okay with that, we’ll move along. Ready?
Okay, in our filing system, “RA-VS” is shorthand for “Red Alert, Very Serious” and the number “2335” tells us that it happened after Case #2334 and before Case #2336. Do you get it? Case 2335 occurred in between Case 2334 and Case 2336.
The “dash” between RA and VS doesn’t mean anything dark or mysterious. We put it there because…I’m not sure why we put it there. Maybe it breaks the monotony of having four letters in a row: “RAVS.” Also, it makes it sound more official when we say, “This is Case Number RA-dash-VS 2335.”
You have to admit that it’s a pretty slick system. I mean, a lot of your ordinary mutts just slop through life and never keep a good set of records. On my outfit, we keep track of every little detail. For example, at this very moment, even as we speak, a flea is creeping around in the region of my left armpit. In fact…
Hee hee! It tickles. Okay, this information will go into our data files, including my response. Pay close attention. I will now sit on the ground, hike up my left hind leg, and use the claws of my left rear paw to hack the flea into salad and smithereens. Death to all fleas!
Hack, hack, hack!
Pay special attention to the angle of my head during this procedure, with the neck fully extended. Also note the shape of my mouth, expressing grim determination but also pleasure. See, I get a kick out of vaporizing fleas.
A little humor there. Did you get it? I get a kick out of kicking fleas. Ha ha. Pretty clever, huh?
Anyway, that flea thinks he’s safe, slipping through the hairs in my armpit, but we’ll get him.
Hack, hack, hack!
There! By George, that’s one flea we won’t see again. When they mess with the Head of Ranch Security, they pay a terrible price.
Now, where were we? I have no idea.
Does anyone remember what we were talking about?
It really burns me up when this happens. Okay, never mind. We’ll start all over. It’s me again, Hank the Cowdog. It was early morning, it was summer, it was dry, and it was worse than dry. We were in the second year of a drought, terrible drought. The country looked awful, but oddly enough, the mornings were beautiful—desert mornings with clear, still air and the early sunlight painting our valley with vivid colors of red, orange, and purple.
We had very little grass that summer but a huge population of grasshoppers, and we’re talking about those big fat jumbos. Figure that one out. If you have very little grass, how can you have billions of grasshoppers? What do they eat? If grasshoppers don’t have grass, how can they hop?
I don’t know, but we had billions of them. They not only hopped, but any time I was trotting across the pasture, I could count on getting smacked in the face by four or five of the hateful things. And it hurt.
Nobody on this ranch had anything good to say about grasshoppers, but the wild turkeys were having the time of their lives. They eat grasshoppers, don’t you know. Chasing grasshoppers is what they do for a living, so their business was booming.
We’ll have more to say about turkeys later on.
During this drought, Sally May was trying her best to keep the shrubs and flowers alive in the yard, and she was running the sprinkler in the garden every day to keep the squash, okra, tomatoes, and melons from turning up their toes and dying.
She had succeeded in keeping most of the garden plants alive, and had waged a constant war against the grasshoppers, squash bugs, and tomato worms. Then the deer and rabbits started poaching the green plants. We had a good hog wire fence around the garden, but that didn’t stop the rabbits from crawling under it, nor did it keep the deer from jumping over it. In a bad drought, it’s hard to keep the poachers out of your garden.
The Security Division had set up a special Task Force to deal with this issue, and let me tell you, we were putting in some hours—day and night, morning and evening, eighteen hours every day, chasing rabbits and deer away from the garden. On this ranch, the work