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      First published in Great Britain 2017

      by Egmont UK Limited

      The Yellow Building, 1 Nicholas Road, London W11 4AN

      Text and illustrations copyright © 2017 Laura Ellen Anderson

      The moral rights of the author and illustrator have been asserted.

      First e-book edition 2017

      ISBN 978 1 4052 8672 5

       Ebook ISBN 978 1 7803 1791 5

       www.egmont.co.uk

      A CIP catalogue record for this title is available from the British Library

      All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

      Stay safe online. Any website addresses listed in this book are correct at the time of going to print. However, Egmont is not responsible for content hosted by third parties. Please be aware that online content can be subject to change and websites can contain content that is unsuitable for children. We advise that all children are supervised when using the internet.

       For Helen,

       Thank you for believing in Amelia and supplying me with unicorn-shaped inspiration and surprise loose limbs! Your continued support, encouragement and enthusiasm won’t be forgotten.

       And a special FANKS (as Florence would say) to all the FANG-GIRLS. You know who you are!

       x Yeti Hugs x

      CONTENTS

       Cover

       Title Page

       Copyright

       Dedication

       5. YOU AAAAARE DEAD, YOU ARE DEAD

       6. THE TOILET ISN’T SHINY ENOUGH

       7. DO SOMETHING, DADDY!

       8. I WANT THAT ONE

       9. THE GREEN DOOR WITH THE MOULDY HANDLE

       10. STEALTHY FLORENCE

       11. CREATURES OF THE LIGHT

       12. RIGHT IN THE HAIR

       13. INTESTINE!

       14. KING VLADIMIR’S SECRET

       15. FRIEND

       16. THE BARBARIC BALL

       17. SIGMUND

       18. I AM NOT A BEAST!

       19. DOOR CHASE

       20. GLITTEROPOLIS

       REPUGNANT RECIPES

      

      

       FLABBERGASTING FALAFELS

      It was a dark and gloomy Wednesday night in Nocturnia. Countess Frivoleeta Fang sipped at her Scream Tea and tapped the dining-room table with her long black fingernails as the clock struck 4 a.m.

      ‘Drake, my darkness, you do know it’s our annual Barbaric Ball in just three nights?’ cooed Countess Frivoleeta. ‘We still have invitations to send, catering to sort out and – oh, did you book the Howling Wolf Band?’

      Count Drake’s eyes widened. ‘Erm . . . I’ll phone them tonight, dearest rat brains.’

      ‘And Drakey, you’ll need to wear your best suit for the ball. None of those Hawaiian graveyard shirts you like so much. We really must find a way to unstick all that goblin slime from last year’s ball too . . .’

      (Goblins were notorious for leaving slime trails – stickier than the stickiest

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