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      First published in Great Britain 2016

      by Jelly Pie an imprint of Egmont UK Ltd

      The Yellow Building, 1 Nicholas Road, London W11 4AN

      Text and illustration copyright © Jim Smith 2016

      The moral rights of the author-illustrator have been asserted.

      First e-book edition 2016

      ISBN 978 1 4052 6914 8

      Ebook ISBN 978 1 7803 1431 0

       barryloser.com

       www.jellypiecentral.co.uk

       www.egmont.co.uk

      A CIP catalogue record for this title is available from the British Library

      All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

      Stay safe online. Any website addresses listed in this book are correct at the time of going to print. However, Egmont is not responsible for content hosted by third parties. Please be aware that online content can be subject to change and websites can contain content that is unsuitable for children.

      We advise that all children are supervised when using the internet.

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      Contents

       Cover

       Copyright

       Title Page

       Clowny Wowny

       Captain Two Fingers

       Sally Bottom

       Morag Barnacle

       Nettle forest

       ’Ere we are

       Loser in the middle

       Gordy-wordy

       The missing poles

       Renard Dupont

       Toilet mopping

       Very bad news indeed

       Renard’s idea

       Snoring Morag

       Trying to get out of actukeely doing anything

       Futur garçon de rat

       The broken mirror

       Abracadabkeels

       Run for it

       Loser Island

       The clues

       Bogie Islands

       Smelly bogies

       Everyone dig!

       Smallest treasure chest ever

       Biggest letdown ever

       The storm

       Furry hand

       Giant woodlouse

       Brilliant and amazekeel idea

       Real-life Donald Cox

       Fake fingernails

       Mr Verkenwerken, nature expert

       Donald Cox’s Luxury Wooden Lodges

       Giant Sabre-toothed Woodlouse

       Nose droop

       Darren’s phone

       Loser Camp

       About the author and drawer

       Praise for my other books

       Back series promotional page

      It was the first Sunday of half term and I was sitting in my sitting room watching Future Ratboy with my best friends, Bunky and Nancy Verkenwerken.

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      ‘This is gonna be the keelest half term EVER!’ I said.

      ‘Keel’ is how Future Ratboy, my favourite TV superhero, says ‘cool’, in case you didn’t know.

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      ‘YEAH!’ said Bunky, who’s sort of like Future Ratboy’s sidekick, Not Bird, except he’s not a bird. ‘I’m SO glad we don’t have to go to babyish old Pirate Camp any more!’

      ‘Me too!’ I said. ‘Pirate Camp is for BABIES!’

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      Pirate Camp is the holiday camp that me, Bunky and Nancy used to go to every half term when we were younger. It’s sort of like a nursery for kiddywinkles, except it’s on Mogden Island, which is an island in the middle of Mogden Lake.

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      It’s

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