LITMIR.BIZ

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valley floor, and his dairy herd of forty head was apparently considered fairly large here. Where the ground started to slope upward toward the ridge, she’d spotted an orchard, with some of the trees already in blossom. Too bad she wouldn’t be here to see the fruit begin to form. Caleb would see to that.

      She turned abruptly toward the living room. Best make what use she could of the little time he seemed willing to grant her with the kinder. As she entered, she heard Becky’s plaintive voice.

      “But isn’t Daadi going to help us get ready for bed?” She stood in front of her father’s wheelchair, and her look of dismay was echoed by the one on Caleb’s face.

      “Ach, Becky, you know Daadi won’t be able to go upstairs for a bit,” Zeb gently chided her. “That’s why we fixed up the room downstairs for him.”

      “I’m sorry.” Caleb cupped his daughter’s cheek with his hand, his expression so tender it touched Jessie’s heart. “You go along now, and come tell me good-night when you’re ready.”

      Timothy was already rubbing his eyes. It had been a big day for a not-quite-four-year-old.

      “Komm. I’ll help you.” When Jessie held out her hand, Timothy took it willingly enough.

      But Becky’s eyes flashed. “We don’t need your help.”

      The sharp words were so unexpectedly rude coming from an Amish child that for a moment Jessie was stunned. She realized Zeb was frowning at Caleb, while Caleb was studiously avoiding his eyes.

      “Becky, I’m ashamed of you to speak so to Cousin Jessie.” Zeb had apparently decided that Caleb wasn’t going to correct the child. “You go up at once with Cousin Jessie, and don’t let me hear you talk in such a way again.”

      Becky looked rebellious for a moment, but at a nod from her father, she scurried ahead of Jessie and her brother, her cheeks flaming. Jessie, clutching Timmy’s hand, hurried after her.

      She was quick, but not quite quick enough. Behind her, she heard Zeb’s voice.

      “Caleb, I should not have had to speak to Becky. It’s your job to teach your kinder how to behave.”

      Caleb’s response was an irritable grumble that faded as she reached the top of the stairs.

      “That’s me and Becky’s room,” Timothy informed her, pointing. “And that’s where Daadi sleeps. Onkel Daniel has that next one.”

      “Onkel Zeb is sleeping in the little front room,” Becky said. “He had to move to make room for you.” She shot a defiant look at Jessie.

      But Jessie had no intention of responding in kind. Becky must see that rudeness wouldn’t drive her away, if that was what the child had in mind. It had been a natural thing in a houseful of men for Zeb to put her into the adjoining daadi haus.

      “It was nice of Onkel Zeb to let me use the daadi haus,” she said. “He’s a kind person, ain’t so?”

      Becky was forced to nod, and Timothy tugged at Jessie’s hand, his sister’s rebellion clearly passing over his head. “I’ll show you where everything is.”

      With Timothy’s help, Jessie soon figured out how he expected to be gotten ready for bed. She had to smile at his insistence on doing everything exactly the same way as always, according to him. Her brother’s kinder were just like that. His wife always said that if they did something once, it immediately became a tradition they mustn’t break.

      The bathroom was as modern as those in any Englisch house, save for the gas lights. And she’d noticed a battery-powered lantern in the children’s bedroom—a sensible solution when a light might be needed quickly. Caleb had done his best to make the farmhouse welcoming for Alice and the kinder, but that hadn’t seemed to help Alice’s discontent.

      Alice had been too young, maybe. Not ready to settle down. She’d thought marriage and the move to Lost Creek, Pennsylvania, would bring excitement. But when life had settled into a normal routine, she hadn’t been satisfied.

      Jessie had seen her growing unhappiness in her letters. Maybe she’d been impatient with her young cousin, thinking it was time Alice grew up. If she’d been more comforting...

      But it was too late for those thoughts. Jessie bent over the sink to help Timothy brush his teeth, but Becky wedged her little body between them to help him instead. Fair enough, Jessie told herself. A big sister was expected to look after the younger ones. Maybe if she ignored Becky’s animosity, it would fade.

      A line from Alice’s last letter slid into her mind. “You were right. I never should have come back here to die. Please, if you love me, try to repair the harm I’ve done to these precious little ones.”

      Jessie’s throat tightened. She had begged Alice to stay with her for those final months instead of returning to Caleb. But Alice had been determined, and Jessie hadn’t been able to stop questioning her own motives. Whose interests had she had at heart?

      Pushing the thought away, she reached over their heads to turn off the water. “All ready? Let’s go down and say good-night.”

      Bare feet slapping on the plank floor, the kinder rushed down the stairs. Following more sedately, she saw them throw themselves at Caleb, and she winced at the kicks his cast took. But he didn’t seem to notice.

      Caleb cuddled each of them, apparently as reluctant to send them to bed as they were to go. It must have seemed like forever to him since his life had been normal, but she knew him well enough to understand he’d never regret risking injury to help a neighbor. That’s who he was, and she admired him even when she was resenting the cool stare he turned on her.

      “Go on up to bed now.” Caleb helped Timothy slide down from his lap. “Sleep tight.”

      Smiling, Jessie held out her hands. Once again, Timothy took hers easily, rubbing his eyes with his other hand. But Becky pushed past her to grab Daniel’s hand.

      “I want Onkel Daniel to tuck me in,” she announced.

      “Sounds gut,” he said, getting up and stretching. “Cousin Jessie and I will see you’re all tucked in nice and snug. Ain’t so, Cousin Jessie?”

      She smiled, grateful that he’d included her. “That we will.”

      “Let’s see how fast we can get upstairs.” Daniel snatched up Becky and galloped toward the steps.

      “Me, me,” Timothy squealed, holding his arms up to Jessie.

      Lifting him and hugging him close, she raced up the stairs, and they collapsed on Timothy’s bed in a giggling heap. Timothy snuggled against her, seeming eager for a hug, and her heart swelled. If circumstances had been different, he might have been her child.

      The unruly thought stuck to her mind like a burr. She remembered so clearly the day she’d met Caleb. He’d come from Pennsylvania for the wedding of a distant cousin, and she’d been asked to show him around. They’d hit it off at once in a way she’d given up expecting to happen to her.

      And he’d felt the same. She was sure of it. That afternoon was surrounded by a golden haze in her memory—the beginning of something lovely. A perfect time—right up to the moment when they’d gone in to supper and Caleb had his first look at Alice. She’d turned from the stove, her cheeks rosy from the heat, strands of cornsilk-yellow hair escaping her kapp to curl around her face, her blue eyes sparkling and full of fun.

      Jessie wrenched her thoughts away from that long-ago time. No sense at all in thinking about what might have been. They could only live today, trusting in God’s grace, and do their best to make up for past mistakes.

      * * *

      Caleb expected Onkel Zeb to chide him again about Becky’s behavior once the others had gone upstairs. His defenses went up at the thought. Becky was his child. It was his responsibility how she behaved.

      Unfortunately, that wasn’t a very comforting thought. He’d let his

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