LITMIR.BIZ

      Chapter 11

      Mia wasn’t sure if she should pretend to be asleep when she heard the key in the door or if she should let him know that she was up and was concerned about where he’d been. She peeked at the digital clock. It was nearly 2:00 a.m.

      The bedroom door opened. Steven moved quietly around the room, taking off his clothes before going into the master bathroom.

      Moments later, Mia heard the shower water running. She stared up at the ceiling. She tried to regulate her breathing and slow down the beating of her heart. This was a new place that she and Steven had entered. Since they’d been together, they’d never been out for most of the night separately. They’d never walked out on each other with friction hovering between them.

      She knew part of it was her fault—the secret she was carrying around with her about her conflicting feelings about Michael, and her TLC assignment. She had to get a handle on it before things got worse between them.

      The bathroom door opened. For a moment, Steven stood in the lighted doorway before turning off the light.

      Mia felt the side of the bed sink from his weight and the covers shift as he got in beside her.

      Steven turned on his side and draped his arm across her waist. He kissed her ear. “I know you’re not sleeping,” he said softly. “Can we talk?”

      “Okay,” she said softly, while trying to keep her own guilty thoughts from giving her away.

      “Something almost happened tonight.”

      Her heart slammed in her chest. Then Steven was silent for so long she began to believe that her punishment for her own indiscretions was to never know what Steven had “almost” done.

      “Look,” he finally said. “This whole baring my soul thing is not me. It never has been. But what happened tonight—that can’t go on between us.”

      She was too afraid to move, to breathe.

      “I walked out of here tonight because I didn’t want you to lie to me anymore.”

      Oh, God, she was going to faint.

      “Are you seeing someone else?”

      Her relief burst from her lips. “No! Of course not.” She turned on her side to face him. “I wouldn’t do that. Never.”

      From the dim light of the moon sliding in between the blinds, she saw the worry in those incredible eyes, felt it in the rapid beat of his heart and heard it in between the words he did not say; he loved her and was afraid he was losing her. What could she say to prove him wrong when she felt deep in her soul that he might be right—losing her to memories, possibility and unanswered questions.

      What she wanted from Steven, she suddenly realized, was more than great sex, nice things and a guaranteed date on Saturday night. She wanted a man who was willing to give every ounce of himself to her, who wanted her so much that he was willing to build a house for her even if they weren’t together. She wanted someone to say the words I love you, Mia without the prompts, without it only coming as an echo of her own words.

      “When things get so that they’re not working for you, you need to tell me,” Steven was saying, drawing her back and away from her cascading thoughts.

      “I can’t imagine that happening.” But fear and doubt knotted her stomach. She cuddled closer. He tenderly kissed the top of her head. “You want to tell me what almost happened?” she tentatively asked.

      “It didn’t. That’s what’s important. Didn’t come close, only the suggestion—if I’d been willing.”

      Mia listened intently for words between the lines and beneath the surface. She found none. Only the simple truth.

      Mia gently draped her leg over his. Their toes touched and played. She smiled inside.

      Steven pressed his lips against the sensitive spot between the space of her neck and her collarbone. She trembled. He ran his hand down and along the curve of her body’s right side, covering each inch like the brush of a master painter.

      Mia spontaneously arched her body into his. The pulse of his growing erection pressed between the juncture of her thighs. She moaned softly as he brushed his thumb across her nipple before cupping her breast in his palm and caressing it. Her body became infused with heat.

      Steven eased her onto her back. He stared down into her eyes. He looked as if he was on the verge of saying something. Instead he kissed her long, deep and slow. And she gave in to the kiss, the feel of his hands on her body, the weight of him pinning her beneath him.

      Mia closed her eyes, wrapped her arms and legs around Steven and let the sensations take over her mind, body and soul.

      * * *

      The following morning after Steven left for work, Mia set up the tools of her trade and spent the next hour watching the computer screen for activity and listening to the phone taps for something worthwhile.

      Just as she was about to pack up and head to the office, Michael received a call on his Sag Harbor phone.

      She sat up straighter.

      “Hi, it’s Michelle. I need some extra hours. Slot me

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