LITMIR.BIZ

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      “Why don’t you show me around,” he said, standing and holding his hand out to her.

      Nicole stood but didn’t take his hand. He hadn’t expected her to, but it had seemed right to make the gesture. She led him outside.

      It felt good to be out in the open air, where he could breathe. That was one of the things he’d loved about being in the horse training program in prison. The chance to be outside, in nature, with horses.

      He followed Nicole to a run-down chicken coop.

      “I really want chickens,” she said. “We got some when we first came, but the coop isn’t very secure, and a fox got in. Plus, Shane says that we should clean it out in case of disease.”

      As he entered the coop, he pulled his shirt over his nose. Erin hadn’t been joking about the place being smelly. He could definitely see why Shane wanted it cleaned out before getting more chickens.

      “It sounds like Shane has been really helpful,” he said.

      “I know I sounded cranky about him earlier, so I should apologize. I have nothing against Shane. He’s wonderful, and he has been a big help. But more than that, he makes my sister happy, and the boys love him.”

      Nicole kicked a rock. “I guess I’m just frustrated sometimes that this was supposed to be our adventure—mine and my sisters’—and then Leah had to go and fall in love. I’m happy for her, but I really was looking forward to the three of us rebuilding the ranch.”

      After latching the coop back up to prevent anything else from getting in, Fernando turned to her. “But maybe that is the adventure. Bringing new people into your lives to share it with.”

      He gestured around at the property in general. “This is so big, I can’t imagine anyone doing it alone. It’s good that you have help. Why are you fighting it?”

      Nicole shrugged, then shook her head. “I don’t know. It was probably stupid of me to say anything. Let me show you where I want to put the goats.”

      Once again, she was shutting down and shutting him out. Part of him regretted saying anything, except that it gave him another peek into her heart. It was like she was afraid of being vulnerable, and in some ways, he didn’t blame her.

      As he followed her, he made note of the other things that were in need of repair. He’d put together his own list, then talk to the family about it. Based on what Nicole had said about being unprepared for chickens, and as well as her decision to buy a horse against Shane’s advice, he was fairly certain that they would need help prioritizing projects.

      “It’s great that you have so many plans,” he said when they finally stopped at a large, ramshackle barn. “I remember you saying that you’ve always wanted animals, but I never saw you as the type to move to a ranch in the middle of nowhere.”

      The smile she gave him was warm and genuine. “When I was a kid, I used to always play farm. But because we moved around so much for the Colonel’s job, it wasn’t practical to have pets. Then real life happened, and still, no animals. I managed to have a few in my preschool classroom—fish, hamsters, even a snake once. But I’ll admit that our field trips to the petting zoo were more fun for me than they were for the kids.”

      “The Colonel? Who is that?” He thought he knew about Nicole’s family, but he hadn’t heard mention of the Colonel before.

      “Our father.” Nicole let out a long sigh. “He was in the military and ran his household like it. We were his troops, not his children, and we took to referring to him as the Colonel when we got older. I know that sounds disrespectful, but he wasn’t much of a father.”

      He reached out to touch her arm in comfort, but she jerked away.

      “I don’t want your pity. It’s fine. My sisters and I accepted long ago that we were all each other had. I know you think you’re trying to be there for me, but I have them, and that’s all I need.”

      And yet, she did need him. At least for her horse.

      “I’m sure you can take care of yourself, but it doesn’t make you weak to let others in,” Fernando said.

      “Maybe not,” she admitted. “But I spent most of my life knowing that the only people I could count on were my sisters. And the first time I took a risk in trusting someone new, I found myself burned beyond recognition.”

      She reached forward and touched his arm gently. “I can tell you want to help, and I appreciate the gesture. I’m grateful that you’re willing to train my horse. I’m also grateful that you’re willing to help fix things around here. We tried hiring laborers, but it’s hard to compete with the larger ranches who can pay more.”

      He knew the but was coming even before the expression hit her face and the words left her mouth.

      “But that’s all I want from you. I got the answers I needed. You don’t owe me anything else. So please stop trying to be my friend and asking me questions beyond what you need to know to do your job.”

      Nicole’s brow furrowed, like she realized that she’d been a little too harsh with him.

      “It’s just too confusing for me right now to talk about personal things,” she finally said. “I don’t like this angry version of myself, but when I’m around you, I can’t help it. I let my guard down, and then I remember that I’m still mad at you, even though I’m trying to get past it. The emotions that take over are hard for me to handle. I’m sorry.”

      Her admission made him realize that maybe he’d been pushing her too hard. All this time, his need for her to forgive him was all about him making things right. Even though he’d assumed that the right thing for Nicole was to let go of the past, he hadn’t taken the time to understand her actual needs. He’d assumed a lot on her behalf, starting with when he’d decided to keep Adriana’s secret from her, continuing to now.

      “It’s okay,” Fernando said. “I know I’ve been pushing you hard. You’ve been asking me for space, and I haven’t given it to you. I’m sorry. I’ll do better in the future.”

      She nodded slowly, and he could see her posture relax slightly.

      He gestured to the barn they’d stopped in front of. “Do you want to tell me about your plans for this? I assume it was used to store hay and other equipment in the past, but it looks like it’s in need of a lot of TLC.”

      The rest of her resistance melted away as she led him to the entrance. “Shane says the bones are still strong, but it does need a lot of repairs. My sisters and I were thinking we could use it as an event center, like for destination weddings or something. Ricky, our neighbor at the Double R, has a dude ranch, but he doesn’t have a facility his guests can use for their events. This would help both of our businesses grow.”

      As Nicole explained their plans for the barn, Fernando could see where, of all the projects, this would be the one that would provide the best long-term benefit.

      “I like your plans a lot,” Fernando said when she finally finished. “If you don’t mind, I’m going to take a better look at everything and I’ll come up with a list. Then you and your sisters can tell me what your priorities are and where you can best use me.”

      The look she gave him was less grudging than she’d been with him in the past. Even though they’d been in two totally different situations, he could almost relate. Until this point, he’d taken the control of their relationship away from her. He’d kept valuable information about her fiancé and best friend from her. He’d continued contacting her when she’d asked him to give her space. He’d forced her hand with Snookie. Now, she had a choice.

      Whatever she decided, Fernando was going to respect it.

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