LITMIR.BIZ

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herself and Ash, most in social settings. She’d hoped maybe there would be letters or a diary but there were none.

      In the file cabinet she found pages and pages of schoolwork and other school-related papers, but nothing having to do with any specific research she’d been working on. In the very back of the drawer she found an unmarked file with several DVDs inside. Most were unmarked, but one had a handwritten label marked Ash’s Birthday. Video of a birthday party maybe? Home videos could jog a memory, right?

      Full of excitement and hope, she grabbed the file and dashed out to the family room to the enormous flat-screen television. It took her a few minutes just to figure out how to turn everything on, and which remote went with which piece of equipment. When the disk was in and loaded she sat on the couch and hit Play … and discovered in the first two seconds that this was no ordinary birthday party. At least, not the kind they would invite other people to. For starters, they were in bed … and in their underwear. Those didn’t stay on for long though.

      This was obviously one of those videos that Ash had mentioned. Although, at the time, she had half believed he was joking. She felt like a voyeur, peeking through a window at another woman’s private life. The things she was doing to him, the words coming out of her mouth, made her blush furiously, but she was too captivated to look away. Was this the kind of thing Ash was going to expect when they made love? Because she wasn’t sure if she even knew how to be that woman anymore. She was so blatantly sexy and confident.

      Melody hated her for it, and desperately wanted to be her.

      When the DVD ended she grabbed one of the unmarked DVDs and put it in the player. It was similar to the first one, starting out with the two of them in bed together. But this time after a bit of foreplay she reached over somewhere out of the camera’s view, and came back with four crimson silk scarves that she used to tie a very willing Ash to the head and footboard.

      Watching this DVD she discovered just how flexible she actually was. Physically and sexually. It was sexy and adventurous, and in a lot of ways fun, but it occurred to her as it ended that she wasn’t particularly turned on. More curious than aroused. Not that she didn’t enjoy seeing Ash naked. His body was truly a work of art. Long and lean and perfect in every way. It was the sex itself that was, she hated to admit, a little … boring.

      She grabbed a third disk and put it in, and as it began to play she could tell right away that it was different. This one was set in Ash’s bathroom, and he was filming her through the clear glass shower door. She was soaping herself up, seemingly lost in thought. He said her name, and when she turned she looked genuinely surprised to see him standing there holding the camera. After that he must have put the camera on a tripod because he came from behind it, already beautifully naked, and climbed in the stall with her, leaving the door open.

      The tone of this video was completely different from the others. They soaped each other up, touching and stroking, as if they had all the time in the world. And unlike the others there was a lot of kissing in this one. Deep, slow, tender kisses that had Melody’s attention transfixed to screen, actually licking her lips, wishing she could taste Ash there.

      Missing was the sense of urgency, as if it were a race to see who could get who off first. Instead they took their time exploring and caressing, their arousal gradually escalating, until they both seemed to lose themselves. It was like watching a totally different couple, and this was a woman she could definitely imagine being. A woman she wanted to be.

      The first two DVDs had been sexy, but they were just sex. There didn’t seem to be much emotion involved. In this one it was clear, by the way they touched, the way they looked in each other’s eyes, that they had a deep emotional connection. She could see that they loved each other.

      On the screen Ash lifted her off her feet and pressed her against the shower wall. Their eyes locked and held, and the ecstasy on their faces, the look of total rapture as he sank inside her made Melody shiver.

      She wanted that. She wanted Ash to kiss her and touch her and make love to her. She was breathing heavily, feeling so warm and tingly between her thighs that she wished she could climb through the screen and take the other Melody’s place. They were making love in the purest sense, and she couldn’t help thinking that if he were here right now she would—

      “This one is my favorite,” someone said from behind her.

      Melody shrieked in surprise and flew off the couch so fast that the remote went flying and landed with a sharp crack on the hardwood floor several feet away. She spun around and found Ash standing behind the couch, a couple of plastic grocery bags hanging from his fingers and a wry grin on his face.

      “You scared me half to death!” she admonished, her anger a flimsy veil to hide her embarrassment. But it was useless because her face was already turning twenty different shades of pink. He’d caught her watching porn. Porn that he was in. What could be more embarrassing? “You shouldn’t sneak up on people.”

      “I wasn’t sneaking. In fact, I wasn’t being particularly quiet at all. You just didn’t hear me. I guess I see why.”

      On the television her evil counterpart was moaning and panting as Ash rocked into her, water sluicing down their wet, soapy bodies. Melody scrambled for the remote, but it took her a few seconds of jabbing random buttons before the DVD stopped and the screen went black. When she looked back at Ash he was still wearing that wry smile.

      “What are you doing home? It’s only—” she looked at the clock and could hardly believe it was after three “—three-fifteen.”

      Had she really been watching sex videos for almost two hours?

      He held up the bags. “There’s nothing here to eat but pizza so I stopped at the store after a lunch meeting. So you wouldn’t have to go out.”

      “Oh. Thank you.”

      She waited for a comment about her watching the video, waited for him to tease her, but instead he walked past her and carried the bags to the kitchen. It was the first time she had seen him in a suit since the day he showed up at the hospital to claim her, and, oh, man, did he look delicious. There was something undeniably sexy about an executive who shopped for groceries. Of course, as turned on as she was right now, he would look sexy in plaid polyester floods and a polka-dot argyle sweater.

      “I found the DVDs in my file cabinet,” she said, following him, even though he hadn’t asked for an explanation, or even looked as though he expected or required one.

      He set the bags on the island countertop and started unpacking them. It looked as though he had picked up the basics. Milk, eggs, bread, a gallon of orange juice, as well as two bags full of fresh fruits and vegetables.

      “I didn’t know what they were when I found them,” she said, stepping around to put the perishables in the fridge. “I was pretty surprised when I put the first one in.”

      One brow rose. “The first one?”

      God, she made it sound as if she had been sitting there watching them all day.

      “The only one,” she lied, but it was obvious he wasn’t buying it. Probably because he’d seen the DVDs strewn out on the coffee table.

      “Okay, maybe I watched two …”

      Up the brow went again.

      “… and a half. It would have been three if I’d finished the one I was watching when you walked in.”

      He seemed to find her discomfort amusing. “Mel, watch as many as you like.”

      She wondered if he really meant that. “It doesn’t. bother you?”

      “Why would it?” he asked, looking very unbothered.

      “Because you’re in them, and they’re very. personal.”

      He gave her a weird look. “You’re in them, too.”

      “Yeah, but … it doesn’t seem like me. It’s like I’m watching

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