LITMIR.BIZ

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with quiet words and loving pats on his back that distracted James.

      When the boy had stopped crying, Kelly squared off across from James. “What did you mean excuses?”

      “Come off it, Kel. You know exactly what I meant. You think I’ll have him chewing tobacco and chasing women by the time he’s three.” James kept his voice low, but didn’t know how he’d managed it, because his insides churned.

      Her eyes blazed as she stared at him. “I think I’d better leave. This isn’t getting us anywhere. If it’s all right with you, I’d like to keep Matilda here until I can find a place to board her. I’ve got some feed in the trailer, but will pay you—”

      James tore his fingers through his hair. “Don’t do this, Kel.”

      “I think we’ve proven we can’t be in the same room without sparks flying. We both need to cool down. I’ve already done several things I swore not to do. I won’t make an already difficult situation worse.” She caught the strap of the diaper bag and lifted it over her shoulder.

      “Where are you going?” James asked, knowing he shouldn’t care. But he did.

      “To get a room at a motel.” She headed out the door toward her truck.

      He wanted to stop her, pull her into his arms and hold her. It made no sense at all, but nothing ever had, not where Kelly was concerned. Swearing under his breath, he followed her. “Will you call and let me know where I can reach you?”

      “I want to visit Cal and meet his new wife, so I’ll drop by the clinic sometime tomorrow.” She hooked Will in his car seat and hurried around the rusted-out truck.

      Unable to watch her go, James strode after her and caught the door just before she closed it. “Kel, wait. Can’t we talk?”

      She swallowed hard and looked out the windshield. “I don’t know if that would help.”

      “I’m here now, willing to listen. What do you say we give it a try?”

      “I’m too tired to talk today,” she said.

      “At least let me know what motel you’re at.” He finally let her slam the door.

      With a lingering glance in his direction, Kelly started the pickup and backed down his driveway.

      James stood there long after she’d disappeared around the curve in the road. He thought about all the things she’d said today and found he didn’t much like what he’d heard or the way he saw himself through her eyes.

      It had been a long time since James had felt this out of sorts. He shouldn’t care about Kelly’s plans for his son’s future or that they didn’t seem to include him; he hadn’t even known about the boy until twenty-one hours ago. The fact that he worried about her at all irritated him almost as much as his inexplicable need to be with his son…and Kelly.

      He headed toward his truck, cursing the vision of her that suddenly filled his head. Maybe several beers would help him forget how good she looked and her enticing scent. He doubted it would.

      He needed to forget that while struggling to bring his child into this world, Kelly had found suffering alone preferable to leaning on him.

      Kelly locked the motel door and slid the chain in place. She didn’t like the room or the location of the motel, but after stopping at five others that were full because of the rodeo in town that weekend, she would have to make do. Her only other option was to stay with James. She didn’t know if she could do that without slipping up and letting him see how much she still cared.

      “Here, sweetheart, let me get your horse.” She pulled the stuffed horse from the diaper bag and gave it to Will, who settled on the floor with his favorite toy.

      The room echoed with loneliness after the time she’d spent with James. Funny, she’d lived alone until Will’s birth, then it had been just the two of them. After only one day with James, she realized how much she’d missed adult conversation—almost as much as she’d missed him. Sure, she’d been around other students, but they were always listening to lectures. After class, she’d rushed to her job. And then there’d been Will.

      Kelly’s thoughts drifted back to James. She had wanted to stay with him, but no telling what she would have done if she had. That’s why she’d created rule fifteen, to prevent that from happening. Though, actually, he had surprised her. He hadn’t done any of the things she’d expected when he’d learned he had a son. With only minimal ranting and raving, he’d taken her home with him, and even after she’d made a mess of explaining things by blurting out her feelings, he’d offered them a room.

      She wasn’t sure the cowboy she’d once known would have sat still while she questioned his character. And if he had, he certainly wouldn’t have asked her to stay.

      And now, thinking back on all she’d said, Kelly couldn’t remember when she’d wanted anything more than to be with James. Her reasons for leaving had everything to do with the way James had made her feel, just as it had before she’d left town three years ago.

      Seeing him again had been a shock. The hurt she’d glimpsed when he’d thought she was married had almost been her undoing. But she’d prepared herself, knowing being around him again after all this time would be difficult. She’d formulated several new rules especially for the occasion. Still, it had taken all her strength to keep from walking into his arms, the only place she wanted to be.

      Maybe she should call him. After all, he had asked how he could locate her. What could it hurt? She could smooth things over, make sure he hadn’t taken offense to her refusal to stay with him. If he got angry, he might change his mind about getting to know Will, and that’s why she’d put them both through the hell of telling him he had a son.

      Kelly sat on the edge of the bed and punched in James’s home phone number. She knew it by heart, having dialed it hundreds of times in the past. Kelly clutched the phone so tightly her hand ached. After the sixth ring she replaced the receiver on the cradle as she had so many times before.

      She stood and paced the room, so tired she wanted nothing more than to go to bed. What if he had gotten upset? What if he’d had an accident? What if he had gone out with another woman? Kelly patted Will’s head as she hurried back to the phone, her pulse racing as she dialed James’s cell phone number.

      He answered on the fourth ring. “It’s your nickel.”

      The twang of country music drifted through the phone line, all but drowning out his voice.

      She started to hang up, thinking that he might actually be with someone else. One glance at Will made her change her mind. “James?”

      “Kelly?”

      She imagined him seated in some honky-tonk with a voluptuous blonde on each knee. “I—I wanted to let you know where I’m staying, in case you need me.”

      “Just a sec.” The crackle of paper sounded. “Okay, shoot.”

      “I’m at the Country Inn.”

      “What room?”

      Kelly paused, trying to decide whether to tell him. What could it hurt? If an emergency arose, he would need to know how to contact her. Besides, she’d missed him and their friendship and hoped they could regain the easy camaraderie they’d always shared, though secretly she would always want more. If his friendship was all she could have, then that was better than nothing. Nothing is what she’d had the past three years. She’d missed him more than she’d believed possible. There were worse things than being just his friend.

      “Kelly, are you still there?”

      “Yeah. It’s room twenty-two.”

      “Have you had supper?” he asked, his voice a seductive rumble that sent a shiver of awareness through her.

      “No, I thought once we got settled maybe we’d get something.”

      “Would

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