LITMIR.BIZ

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      What the hell had happened?

      “No shit! That’s great. Congratulations! Who’s the lucky lady?”

      “Her name’s Lisa…Lisa Morelli. But…she’s left me.”

      “No shit! That sucks. For another guy? I’m sorry as hell, Alex.” Bill patted his friend’s arm consolingly. “If you need a good lawyer, let me know. I’ve got lots of experience in these matters.”

      Alex shook his head and sidestepped the topic of divorce. “I’m not exactly sure of the reason for Lisa leaving like she did. She just packed up and split in the middle of the night, no note, no explanation. The bed was empty when I awoke the next morning.” And after they’d made such glorious love, and she’d told him how much she adored him—it had added insult to injury.

      “Pardon me for saying so, Alex, but this woman sounds like an insensitive bitch. You might have dodged a bullet on this one. Trust me, I know what I’m talking about.”

      Heaving a sigh, Alex replied, “That’s just it. Lisa’s not a bitch. She’s great. She’s impulsive, I’ll admit that. But she’s not the type to purposely hurt someone.”

      “So why did she leave then?”

      “My guess is that it had something to do with my parents’ treatment of her. You know how snobbish they can be. They never accepted Lisa, never thought she was good enough for me, and they let her know it, in many subtle and not so subtle ways.

      “Maybe she got tired of their rudeness.” Alex shook his head. “I don’t know for sure because she never complained or said a word. I know now that I should have stepped in and tried to smooth things out, but I was hoping they would resolve their differences once they got to know each other better.”

      “Man, it’s tough when your parents are involved. There’s that whole divided loyalties thing to consider.”

      “But that’s just it, Bill. My loyalties weren’t…aren’t divided. I’m on Lisa’s side, but I guess I never let her know that, not really, not like I should have. I screwed up, royally.”

      “Yeah, well after you’ve been married a time or two you figure these things out.”

      Alex’s eyes widened. “Are you telling me that you’re divorced? Hell, I’m embarrassed to admit that I didn’t even know you were married.”

      With his sandy hair, deep blue eyes and dimpled smile, Bill had always been popular with the girls at school. He flitted from one relationship to the next, never tying himself down long enough to get serious about anyone in particular. So to find out his friend had been married, not once, but twice, came as quite a shock to Alex.

      “It was brief—they both were. Each one of my marriages lasted less than a year. I wasn’t good at the whole matrimony thing.”

      Alex sipped his beer, then said, “I’m sorry to hear that. Are you dating anyone now?”

      “Yeah.” Bill grinned. “Annie’s a flight attendant. She’s gone a lot, which works out good for both of us.

      That way we don’t get on each other’s nerves. I like her a lot, but I like my space even more.”

      “I miss Lisa like crazy. I want her back. I’ll do anything to make that happen.”

      Bill’s lawyerly instincts came rushing to the fore-front. “Whoa, buddy! Don’t start talking like that, or she’ll have you by the balls before you know what hit you.”

      “I don’t care. Lisa’s the only thing in this world that matters to me. I just wish I’d let her know that. She probably hates me now, probably thinks I’m as shallow as my parents.”

      “It’s hard to know what a woman’s thinking, Alex. I find it’s easier not to even try. It’s just too damn frustrating. And being men, we usually end up guessing wrong anyway.”

      Alex shrugged, wondering if his friend was right.

      “The Eagles are playing the Washington Redskins tonight at nine. Let’s order in some Chinese and drown our sorrow in a few dozen beers while we watch the game. Things might be clearer in the morning when you’re not so tired.”

      Alex nodded. He was tired and confused and hurt. And he had no answers for any of the unsettling questions that kept popping into his mind.

      The only thing he knew for sure was that Lisa was gone, and he had to figure out a way to get her back. How he was going to do that, he wasn’t certain. He knew only that his future happiness depended on it.

      “WHAT DO YOU MEAN, you’re going to look for an apartment? You’re married. Have you forgotten? Married women live with their husbands. And they don’t live with other men, even if those men are fanooks.”

      At times like this, Lisa wondered why she visited her mother. It was too early in the morning to be driven insane, and Josephine definitely made her crazy with her unwanted opinions and advice. But after her talk with Francie the previous evening, she’d had the strongest urge to see her mom.

      Now, of course, she wished she had just taken an enema and gotten whatever it was out of her system.

      Lisa gulped down the strong, black liquid that her mother tried to pass off as coffee and replied, “I told you, Mom, Alex and I are through. I’m not going to live with a man who doesn’t respect me and is tied to his mother’s apron strings. I didn’t know when I married Alex that I was marrying a mama’s boy.”

      “How could you know? You barely knew the man.”

      Lisa winced at the truth of her mother’s words.

      “And so what if he shows respect? What’s wrong with that? A son should respect his mother. Look at your brother. Jack’s crazy about me. He’s a good boy, your brother.”

      “First of all, Jack is a teenager and should still be tied to your apron strings. Alex, on the other hand, is a grown man—a grown married man. He should have cleaved to his wife, like the Bible says. Go ask Father Scaletti if you don’t believe me.”

      Josephine was of the opinion that everything that came out of the parish priest’s mouth was gospel, so Lisa figured she might as well use it to bolster her case.

      “For someone who rarely goes to church, it surprises me that you would know what the Bible says.” Josephine took her daughter’s hand, her tone softening.

      “Why must you make everything so difficult, Lisa? You made vows with this man. Now you must try and work it out between you. Just because something isn’t perfect doesn’t mean you should throw it away.

      “Marriage takes work. No one said it was easy. You think your father and I didn’t have our share of problems over the years? We did. But we stuck it out, for better or worse.”

      Lisa heaved a dispirited sigh. “I knew you wouldn’t take my side, Mom. You never do. Now if it were Francie having the problem, things would be different. You always stand up for her.”

      “Your sister uses her head before she rushes into things.”

      “You mean before she rushes out of the church, don’t you? I hope you’re not forgetting the three failed wedding attempts you paid for before Mark Fielding came along to hog-tie and drag Francie to the altar.”

      “I’m not saying your sister can’t be stubborn, but most of the time Francie listens, something you don’t do. You think you know everything.

      “I tried to tell you that the kind of men you were dating were wrong for you. Who dates a female impersonator? Tell me that? But would you listen? And now that you’ve found a normal one, you want to get rid of him.” Exasperated, Josephine slapped her hand to her forehead.

      “If you met his parents, you wouldn’t think Alex was normal.”

      “I spoke to his mother on the phone, after you told us you had eloped.

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