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She wasn’t running this game.
He was.
At his own pace and on his own terms.
And that realisation sent a chill down Miranda’s spine. His patient silence at the dinner table that first night, his patient silence in the helicopter, now in this Land Cruiser, waiting…waiting for what?
“You’re right,” Nathan said abruptly. “I’m not offering romance. I’ve been there, done that, and come out empty every time. Fool’s gold.”
The edge of contempt in his voice startled her into looking at him. He sliced her a hard, challenging glance, searing in its intensity. “Look around you,” he directed, turning his gaze back to the hazardous track. “My life is bound up in this land. It comes down to basic needs and that is pervasive if you live here long enough. I have a great respect for basic needs. And sharing them makes sense to me.”
Miranda frowned, realising he was talking of a stark reality he faced day after day. If basic needs weren’t respected—and shared—survival could very well be at risk. She’d read stories of people who had perished in the outback, not appreciating all that could go wrong, nor comprehending the sheer isolation of great, empty distances—no ready help to call upon.
“Now I’d say there’s something very basic between us that we could answer for each other,” he went on.
One could survive without sex, Miranda silently argued, gritting her teeth against saying so, determined not to invite or encourage any conversation on that subject.
“A sharing. Not a taking,” he emphasised.
Miranda remained stubbornly silent, her gaze trained out the side window, but she felt the hot, penetrating blast of his eyes on her and couldn’t stop her muscles from tensing against it.
“I’m not interested in the games men and women play in the world you come from,” he continued with a relentless beat that seemed to drum on her mind and heart. “I don’t make promises I can’t or won’t keep. I’ll say how it is for me. I want you, yes.”
She didn’t actually need that blunt honesty, having no doubts herself on that score.
“And you want me, Miranda.”
That stung her into whipping her head around. “Oh, no, I don’t!” she shot at him.
His eyes instantly and sharply derided her contention. “Deny it as much as you like, for whatever reasons you have, but it’s not going to go away.”
“Is that how you argued your last mistress into bed with you?”
“Mistress?”
His incredulity and the subsequent shake of his head left Miranda furious with herself at having let those words slip. She snapped her gaze back to the road, willing him not to pick up on them, to simply let the whole matter drop.
No such luck!
“I don’t know where you’re coming from, Miranda,” he said tersely, “but I am not married, and if I had a wife, I certainly wouldn’t be seeking a mistress.”
Mistress…lover…what was the difference when the arrangement was for sex on tap?
“The relationships I’ve had with women were all mutually desired and not one of them was an adulterous affair,” he went on, his voice gathering an acid bite. “I happen to respect the commitment of marriage. A pity you don’t.”
“I beg your pardon!” Miranda hurled at him in bitter resentment of his judgement of her.
“So what happened?” he threw back at her. “The guy wouldn’t leave his wife for you? Is that why you took the job at King’s Eden, burning your boats?”
It was so close to the truth, a wave of humiliating heat scorched up Miranda’s neck.
Nathan didn’t miss it. He turned on more heat. “Or maybe you threw down the gauntlet and you’re hoping he’ll follow you up here. Which explains the no-go with me.”
“This is none of your business!” she seethed.
“Well, I take exception to being coupled with a sleaze-bag who plays a game of deceit with the women in his life.”
“Then please accept my apology.” She managed to get frost into her voice even though her face was still flaming.
“And it most certainly is Tommy’s business if you’re counting on breaking the two-year contract, should your lover toe your line.”
“I have no intention of breaking it,” she grated out. “And I do not appreciate all this supposition on your part.”
“You opened the door, Miranda.”
“And I’d take it kindly if you’d respect my choice to close it.”
Blue eyes clashed with green in an electric exchange that sizzled the air between them. Miranda’s heart thumped erratically. She could hear it in her ears, feel the strong throb of it in her temples. Goose-bumps rose on her skin.
“It’s not a choice I can respect, but so be it,” he said tersely, and broke the connection with her.
The ensuing silence was incredibly oppressive. Miranda felt totally drained of energy and miserable over the impression she’d left him with by not correcting his assumptions. Not that he had any right to make them!
Okay, she shouldn’t have used the word, mistress, but it had been what Bobby had wanted of her, not what she had been. As for Nathan King, maybe she’d let her experience with Bobby Hewson colour her reading of his last relationship. On the other hand, he wasn’t promising anything other than sex, which was all a mistress got from a man.
If there was one thing Miranda had learnt, it was she wanted to be valued for more than a roll in the hay. A roll with Nathan King might be…an interesting experience. Even special, she grudgingly conceded. But that wasn’t enough for her. Especially not after Bobby Hewson. She wanted the kind of sharing that encompassed everything, the kind that led to marriage because no one else could fulfil that very special equation of wanting to be with each other. Exclusively! Which was hardly a likely prospect with Nathan King of the legendary King family.
Miranda was still brooding over this when the Land Cruiser came to a halt in an open camping area on the outskirts of the Bungle Bungle Range. A four-wheel-drive wagon was parked close to four tents but they all seemed abandoned, no one in view anywhere.
“We hike in from here,” Nathan stated. “The camping amenities block is kept clean. If you want to use it before we set out…”
“Yes, I will. Thank you.”
She didn’t wait for him to open her door. As she strode away from the Land Cruiser, she thought he probably hadn’t intended to extend that courtesy to her anyway. A woman who didn’t care about committing adultery didn’t deserve his respect. Except she did care, and she hated having him think that of her.
No use telling herself it didn’t matter, so long as it kept him away from her. It was a point of pride. And reputation. Though it went deeper than that, right down to her sense of self-worth.
She was not like her mother.
She was never going to be like her mother.
She needed to live her life on her own terms and somehow she had to make Nathan King understand that. And respect it.
MISTRESS!
Nathan brooded over his misconception of Miranda Wade as he waited for her to be ready for the trek