LITMIR.BIZ

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side—it was assured and demanding. Nicola was twenty-seven years old but she had never had such a blatantly adult kiss in all that time.

      Had never enjoyed such a blatantly adult kiss. There was no game playing and no teasing or preliminaries. A question had been asked. An answer given. And then the thorough enjoyment, a wholehearted participation in the slaking of a mutual need.

      And the pleasure rocked her to her toes. She clutched his upper arms, not aware of when she’d moved, his heat and strength rippling through the thin cotton of his shirt to her palms and fingers, filling her with a sense of invincibility. His arm snaked around her waist—to pull her more firmly against him or to give her support? She didn’t know and she didn’t care. She was simply grateful that it gave her the freedom to dance her fingers across his throat, to smooth them over his shoulders and then plunge them into his hair to pull him closer.

      The kiss went on and on and it filled her with energy and strength and the yearning for more...so much more!

      Eventually Cade lifted his head, but he didn’t remove his arm from around her waist. She didn’t remove hers from around his neck. She met his gaze head on. With Cade she didn’t need to be coy.

      His eyes didn’t waver from hers. ‘If this goes on for much longer we’re going to get to the point of no return,’ he rasped out.

      She nodded.

      His chest, pressed to hers, rose and fell. ‘I need to think about that.’

      So did she.

      In unspoken agreement they unclasped each other. Nicola moved back to the bench as reaction set in and her knees started to shake.

      Did she want to take this any further? Did she want to go all the way with Cade? Oh, her body was in no doubt but what about her brain...and her heart?

      He didn’t turn from where she’d left him. ‘I’m not ready for anything serious.’ He spoke to the night, but she knew the words were meant for her.

      After all he’d revealed about his marriage and Fran, she wasn’t surprised. ‘I’m not either.’ It was the truth.

      He turned. She could read the question in his eyes.

      She’d come out here to focus on getting her life back together. A holiday fling, however brief, would deflect her from that. And her plan for self-improvement was important to her. She didn’t want to be the doormat her friends thought her or the failure her mother considered her.

      She stood, her knees finally steady. ‘No.’

      She sensed the relief that flashed through him, along with the frustration. He nodded once. He didn’t say anything.

      ‘If I slept with you it’d be partly as revenge on Brad and Diane. You might say you wouldn’t care about that.’ Men were all hormones and any excuse, right? ‘But I’d care.’

      ‘No, Nicola, you’re wrong. I’d resent being used like that.’

      ‘The other thing is, I don’t want to go falling for you on the rebound. My emotions are all over the place at the moment and I don’t trust them. I’m not ready for anything serious and I can say that till I’m blue in the face, but...’

      ‘But sometimes it’s impossible to keep things emotion-free and uncomplicated.’

      ‘Neither one of us needs complicated right now.’ The blood burned in rebellion in her veins. She swallowed and told herself she was doing the right thing. ‘Besides,’ she croaked, ‘you have the girls to consider.’

      ‘I do.’

      ‘And I don’t much trust the whole notion of romantic love any more. I think it’s a bubble that eventually gets burst. Down the track, hopefully, I’ll meet someone and get married because I want children, but I mean to go into the marriage with wide eyes and a clear head. My head at the moment isn’t clear.’

      They eyed each other warily. ‘I’m sorry,’ she offered, because it felt as if she should apologise.

      He gave an emphatic shake of his head. ‘The first lesson in PD101 is to never apologise for something that isn’t your fault. This isn’t anyone’s fault. Never apologise for being honest.’

      ‘PD?’

      ‘Personal Development.’

      That sounded much grander than a makeover plan. ‘Personal development,’ she murmured. ‘I like it.’ With that she started to edge away. She might have finally screwed her head on right, but it didn’t counter the effect of Cade’s continued proximity. Her body clamoured for the feel of him, the touch of his lips and hands—his hardness pressed tight against her softness. And rather than diminishing, it was starting to increase. ‘I’ll...um...say goodnight then.’

      ‘Nicola?’

      She turned at the question, adrift between him and the French windows to her bedroom. She clasped her hands together tightly.

      ‘When you said you wanted to go into marriage with a clear head, what did you mean?’

      She didn’t move back towards him. That would be foolish. With the moon behind him, and from this distance, she couldn’t see his face clearly. ‘From what I’ve seen of relationships, there are those who do the giving and those who do the taking. Until now I’ve been one of the givers. In the future I’m going to be a taker. I mean to get precisely what I want out of any marriage.’

      ‘Take the poor sod to the cleaners, so to speak?’ The air whistled between his teeth. ‘Thank God you called a halt to things just then. They could’ve gotten darn messy.’

      And just like that he’d made her laugh. ‘Don’t worry, Cade. You would never have made it into my sights.’ He was a lot of things, but a poor sod wasn’t one of them. ‘Given all you’ve been through, I doubt you’d ever want to dip your toe in matrimonial waters again.’

      ‘Damn right.’

      ‘So I wouldn’t have made the elementary mistake of thinking you were available.’

      He shifted. She still couldn’t see his face clearly. ‘It seems to me that if your main reason for marrying is to have children, you could dispense with the middleman and use IVF instead. No point in putting yourself in a miserable relationship with a man you would neither respect or trust.’

      She stilled. ‘You know, you’ve got a point there.’ She could dispense with the mess of romance for good. It was an intriguing idea. ‘Goodnight, Cade.’ She turned and headed for her room. This time he didn’t call her back.

      * * *

      Cade didn’t waste any time, he got to work on his side of the bargain the very next day. Nicola’s opinion of the human race was at an understandable low and he didn’t want to add to it. He wanted to prove to her that some people did keep their promises.

      While she was busy outside with all four children playing some game that involved a lot of running, a lot of freezing and a whole lot of laughing, he dragged his mother and Delia into the kitchen, where Harry was preparing lunch.

      Verity Hindmarsh glanced out of the window, attracted by the laughter of the children, and smiled. ‘Nicola is a gem.’

      ‘That she is,’ Harry huffed.

      ‘Awfully quiet, though,’ Delia mused. ‘But wonderful with Jamie and Simon.’

      Jamie and Simon had recently turned five and had the kind of energy that could make Cade dizzy just watching them. Dee was enjoying the advantage of having another person to help out with them. Not that Cade blamed her or begrudged her, but he meant to make sure Nicola didn’t get lumped with more than her fair share of the work.

      ‘Nicola is what I want to talk to you about.’ As one they turned to survey him. He did his best not to fidget. ‘I found out recently that it’s not just the Outback she’s never experienced, but a big family Christmas. It’s just her and

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