LITMIR.BIZ

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“Let it go? Let my whole world go? Just like that?”

      “It sucks. I’m sorry. But it’s your only hope.”

      She squeezed Boone’s hand again. “I want to go with him. Please, Nate.”

      Her brother, looking so old it broke her heart, shook his head. “Say goodbye, Christie. You don’t have much time.”

      THE CAR DROVE AWAY SLOWLY. Milo had curled up in the back of the dark sedan, and Christie turned in the passenger seat to stare back at her house. There was only the one light in the shaded window, and she couldn’t even see shadows behind it, but she knew they were there. The doctor, a woman with strange blue eyes. Seth. Kate. And Boone.

      He was alive when she’d stepped out the door, but would he be five minutes from now? Ten?

      She’d never see him again. Nate said it would all be over someday, but she didn’t believe him. She was lost, as lost as a soul could be. Her heart had been left on a bloody carpet, in a house, in a life she used to love.

       19

      SHE TURNED OFF THE TELEVISION at nine-thirty. If she could fall asleep by ten, she’d get eight hours of sleep before she had to get back to the restaurant. Even after six months, the work still kicked her butt. The last time she’d been a waitress, she’d been eighteen, nineteen. Now she felt a hundred and nine, and it wasn’t getting any easier.

      She went into the small bedroom to find Milo had made himself comfy on the queen-size bed. He, at least, could still make her smile. Not much else did.

      Her world had become so very small. Work. Meals at home. A book. TV. Sleep. And Boone. He was the largest part of her, now. Thoughts of him filled the empty spaces. Filled her dreams.

      All she knew was that he was alive. She chose to believe he was all right, but that’s because the alternative made her weep uncontrollably. In her head, he was healthy. Of course, in her head, they weren’t really apart. He was just in the next room, or away for the weekend. Then she’d wake up.

      “Hey, big guy. You ready to go out?”

      Milo got up slowly. His joints didn’t like Montana very much. Poor old guy. But he was still the best dog in the world. She hugged him, then walked with him to the back door. As always, she turned on the outside lights and stared through the window to make sure there was no one there. She scared easily out here, even though she was in a good part of town. Her neighbors were a minister and his family on one side, a school teacher and his wife on the other. Nice folks. She hardly ever spoke to them.

      She let Milo out, and he went into sniff mode immediately. Christie watched him, debating a cup of tea before she went to sleep. Maybe she’d read a little, although her attention span sucked.

      She wondered, as she did every night, what he was doing right now. Was he still in the house in Pasadena? In that awful bed? Of course, now it would be a toss-up as to who had the most dreary house. But still, if he were there, that would be a good thing. Because she’d be able to find him. If…

      Milo was done and she let him in. He trotted right to the water bowl and made his usual mess. She didn’t mind. It gave her something useful to do.

      After she mopped up, she filled her teapot and put it on the stove. It wasn’t even her teapot, really. Just another dollar bargain from the Goodwill. Most everything in here was. Not that she cared. When everything is stripped away, the important things become very clear. She wanted Boone. She missed him in a way that hurt.

      The whistle made her jump, and she turned down the fire and got out the tea bags. Her big highlight of the day—picking out her herbal tea. Tonight, she went with chamomile.

      As she poured the hot water, she heard Milo whine. She stopped pouring, stopped breathing. Milo hadn’t whined like that in six months, and the sound pushed her panic button. Carefully, slowly, she put the kettle back down. Walking normally, forcing herself to keep breathing, she went into the bedroom and got her gun from under her pillow. Without even thinking about it, she released the safety. That was the other thing she did here in Bozeman. She went to the shooting range.

      Milo was in the living room, and he was staring at the front door. Christie walked up next to him, and touched his head. He licked her hand, then watched the door some more.

      A moment later, someone knocked.

      She debated ignoring it, but her lights were on. She walked to the side of the door and stood up on her toes. Pulling back the curtain, she looked at the front stoop.

      It was a man. A big man with dark hair, and her heart started beating harder. At first glance, from the side, he looked like Boone, but that couldn’t be. Boone didn’t know where she was. Nate had made sure that no one did. But damn, it sure looked like Boone.

      He knocked again, and she saw his profile. A cry escaped as she put the gun down on the table by the door, then jerked the locks open. Her hand shook so hard she almost broke the knob. But then it was open, and oh, God, it was him. “Boone.”

      He lifted her into his arms, and kissed her over and over, spinning her around and inside, where he kicked the door shut. Then he kissed her again.

      He tasted like Boone, like everything she remembered. It wasn’t possible, he couldn’t be here, but she touched his face and it was his face.

      “Christie,” he said, his voice cracking with emotion. “I can’t believe it’s you.”

      She laughed. “That’s my line. How are you here? Is it over?”

      He studied her eyes as she studied his. So green, so beautiful, with that incredible crease right above his nose. She kissed him right there, and then on the lips again.

      He put her down, but she still felt as if she were flying. “Tell me, dammit. How are you here?”

      “It wasn’t easy. But I found you. Dammit, Christie, I’ve missed you so much.” He swallowed hard. “I had to find Nate first. He didn’t want to give it up, believe me. But he told me to tell you to keep the good thought. Things are happening. Slowly, but they’re happening.”

      “So it’s not over?”

      “No, baby, it’s not. We still have a long way to go. But I was miserable without you. If we have to live like this, then I say we do it together. You and me. It won’t be fun, but it’s not fun now, right?”

      She cupped his face. “I knew I loved you for a reason.”

      “You do, huh? Love me?”

      She nodded, so incredibly sure.

      “Then you’re cool with this? With us?”

      She kissed him again, and this time she took her sweet time. It was everything she remembered, and so much more. Her hands explored his back, his butt, then went back for seconds.

      When she finally pulled back, he was smiling at her. Not that loopy grin from when his mouth was all bangedup, but the beautiful smile she knew from her dreams. “How’s your leg?”

      “Ugly, but useable.”

      “Good. That’s good.”

      “No,” he said. “This is good. This is worth everything. I love you, Christie. I’m not willing to lose you again.”

      “Well, isn’t that something,” she whispered. She touched his lips with her fingertips, then leaned in close. “Because I’m not willing to be lost.”

      In November 2006, look for Jo Leigh’s next

      Harlequin Blaze novel, RELENTLESS, part

      of an exciting new miniseries featuring

      more of Kate, Seth and Nate.

Groom

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