LITMIR.BIZ

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was killed in Desert Storm.”

      “Oh, God. I’m sorry.”

      “Yeah. He was a great guy. A hell of a soldier.”

      “Is that why you became one?”

      “No. It’s just what we did. My father was a lifer. Hell, no one ever called him anything but Major. We were an army family, all the way. ROTC, enlisting the day we came of age. I never thought of doing anything else.”

      “What about your mother?”

      He sighed. “She was a good army wife. She could pack up and move a house in a week. Nothing fazed her. She took everything like a good soldier.”

      “Are they still around?”

      “Yeah, they are. Back in Tennessee. My father’s retired. He likes to hunt now. Hunt and fish.”

      “Must be nice.”

      “What, hunting?”

      “No, having parents who approve of you. Who care.”

      He laughed. “Boy, are you off by a mile.”

      The water sloshed. “But you were in Delta. That had to have made them happy.”

      “It did. For a while.”

      “What happened?”

      He took in a deep breath and let it out slow. “Things didn’t turn out the way any of us expected.”

      “You’re talking about the Balkans, aren’t you? About the mess that got Nate killed.”

      “Yeah.”

      He listened as she washed. At least that’s what he pictured. A sponge moving over her pale skin, down her arms, dipping under the water to caress her long legs.

      “Boone?”

      “Yeah?”

      “Do you miss your mom?”

      All thoughts of wayward sponges ceased instantly with that word, but aside from the slight flash of guilt, he registered the tone of Christie’s question. She was hurt, alone and in one hell of a mess. “Sometimes,” he said. “Do you miss yours?”

      “No,” she said, her voice a lot softer than a moment ago. “I miss Beaver’s mom.”

      “Who?”

      “You know, Beaver Cleaver. His mom. She would have been great, wouldn’t she? Always dressed so neat and tidy, always making sure the house was clean and dinner was on the table when Ward came home from the office. She listened to all their problems, no matter how silly they were. And she never made either of her kids feel stupid.”

      “Versus your mother, who did?”

      “Oh, yeah. She’s an expert. She loved us, I suppose, in her own dysfunctional way, but sometimes it was awfully hard to tell.”

      “How’d you turn out so great if she was so awful?”

      She didn’t answer, and he was tempted to turn and look, but he kept his focus on the doorknob, nothing else.

      “Christie?”

      “Just thinking,” she said. “Thinking that it was my dad’s influence, but it wasn’t. The good parts of me are because of Nate. He wasn’t that much older, but he was the adult in our house. Can you believe that? As crazy as Nate was?”

      “Yeah, I can believe it. Why do you think he was the team leader? The man had some serious skills. I’ve never met anyone I could depend on like Nate. He was the rock, no matter what.”

      “Yeah. A pigheaded rock, but man, when I needed him, he was right there. You know he beat up Scott Fairchild for me? That was excellent.”

      “Tell me,” he said, wanting nothing more than for her to relax, and for him to stop thinking about how naked she was.

      “Fairchild was an ass. He was a year ahead of me in high school, and he thought he was too damn cool for the rest of us mortals. What a jerk. He used to put a chalk mark on his locker for every girl he slept with. Well, that he said he slept with. The chalk was white, and when the janitor wiped it off, he’d just chalk them up again.”

      “Why did Nate beat on him?”

      “Because he wanted to put me on his list.”

      “Oh.”

      “No, no. It wasn’t like that. It was worse. I was young and stupid and totally into wanting to be popular. So when he asked me out, I was thrilled. I spent all my babysitting money on a new outfit, and talked about it for days and days before the actual event. He picked me up, introduced himself to my parents with his Eddie Haskell manners, and the minute we were in the car, he told me we weren’t going to make it to the school dance after all, but to this party at his friend’s house.”

      “Uh-oh.”

      “I’ll say,” she said. “Of course, we were the only two at the party, and of course, he’d laid in a stash of booze. I’d known that’s what he’d want, but I didn’t get it. Not really. So when it came down to it, I freaked. I couldn’t go through with it.”

      “That’s good.”

      “Not really. Because he took me home. Dropped me off at the end of the block, not even at my house. Then he put a big old chalk mark on the locker with my initials under it. He told everyone that mattered at the school that I was not only a total skank, but that I was so lousy he was sure I was really a dyke. Nice, huh?”

      “And that’s when Nate showed up.”

      “In his uniform, thank you very much. At school. With all Scott’s posse watching. Not only did Nate clean his clock, he told everyone that Scott was the most unsophisticated, foolish little boy he’d ever seen. That a real man didn’t ever need to broadcast it, that a real man had respect for women because they were the greatest of God’s gifts, and that since he knew for a fact that Scott had lied about doing anything with me, it was a sure bet that he’d lied about every other chalk mark on his locker.

      “Bet Scott’s life was never the same again.”

      “Damn straight.”

      He angled toward her, but didn’t look at anything but her eyes. “And I’ll bet you wish more than anything in the world that Nate was here right now, cleaning this bastard’s clock.”

      She opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out. Her lips trembled and then she was crying. Eyes closed, she turned her back to him, but he could see by the way her shoulders shook that this was bad, worse than before.

      He heard her sob, and all he could think was that she looked so small, so helpless in that big old tub. And how he wished Nate were there, because she needed him so badly. She needed so much.

      Then he thought again about what his job was, here in this house, in this room. And he stood.

       7

      CHRISTIE STOPPED CRYING. Not because she didn’t miss Nate, not because she’d never felt more alone in her whole life, but because she just couldn’t. Her eyes couldn’t weep, her throat couldn’t breathe, her soul couldn’t hold up, not for another second. There was nothing left in her, just numbness. A person, she supposed, could only be so scared for so long before everything shut down. It was better this way. Easier. If she just stayed in the bathtub for the rest of her life, she’d be fine. Pruney, but fine.

      As for Boone, well, she appreciated that he was here. She wished she could believe that he would fix everything, but that was gone, too. Sure, he’d do what he could, but it was useless. Hopeless. Damn, if she wasn’t too tired to even think about that.

      She reached over and turned on the Whirlpool jets, then

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