LITMIR.BIZ

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My jaw hardened.

      “I know. I was there. Every day. All day.” I ticked off another finger in a violent gesture. “Third engagement. My agent.”

      “Your agent?” Edward said in surprise.

      “Yeah.” I looked at him. “We met at Howard’s wrap party for a film. Lenny signed me when I was almost seventeen. I worked on a soap opera for about six months before Mom got sick.”

      “You were on a television show?” he said incredulously.

      “I quit to stay home with her.” And I’d quit without regret. I’d missed my friends, and the tutor was a poor replacement for school. I’d felt lonely. “I didn’t try to act again until months later, when my agent sent me a script. He wanted to pitch me as a ‘fresh new face’ to star in a Disney show for preteens. My mom convinced me to go to the audition. But on my way there, I got a message from Howard that Mom had just had a seizure. He wasn’t sure she’d make it....” My lips quivered at the edges. “She did. That time. But when I went back to do the audition two days later, the part was gone. The show had already hired someone else.” I turned to look at Madison. “Moxie McSocksie made you a star.”

      Edward frowned. “Moxie what?”

      “I’m surprised you haven’t heard of it.” I turned to him wearily. “Moxie. You know. Regular student by day, adventurous cub reporter by night. It was a huge hit.”

      “Moxie Mc—” Frowning, he looked at Madison, his eyes wide. “I remember. Your face was on the side of buses for months when the show came to London. It was your big break, wasn’t it? Made you famous. Made you rich.”

      Wide-eyed, Madison looked from Edward, to Jason, to me. She abruptly slapped her hands hard against the table.

      “I deserved the role, not you!” she cried in a shrill voice. “I’d been doing commercials since I was a baby! I was the actress, not you. And you were eighteen by then, Diana, way too old for the role!”

      “Compared to you?”

      “I was seventeen—the perfect age!”

      “For getting engaged to my agent?” I said dryly. “The second you heard about the role, you went for him. You knew he could get you that audition, and more. He could get you the career you wanted.”

      “You make it sound sordid,” she gasped, putting her manicured hand against her chest in a fake laugh. “It wasn’t like that!”

      “Oh?” I said coolly. “So you didn’t seduce him to get him to take you on as a client, and sell you to the show?”

      “You’re jealous! It’s not my fault you gave up the audition and rushed home. The next day, when Lenny and I spent time together, he realized I was the perfect Moxie, not you. That’s all!”

      “He was fifty,” I said.

      “I loved him!”

      “You dumped him fast enough, after he got you your first movie role, and you realized that dating a big Hollywood director would help you further up the ladder. You didn’t mind that he had to break up with his wife to do it.”

      “Enough.” Jason rose from the table, his face like granite. He looked at Madison. “So I’m number five, am I?”

      “You’re different,” she whispered. “Special.”

      “I don’t feel special.” Jason looked at me. “I’m starting to think I chose the wrong sister.”

      Madison looked frightened. “Jason—”

      “Here.” Reaching into his pocket, he tossed a set of car keys onto the table. They skittered helter-skelter down the long polished wood. “I’m taking a car back to London. I’ll leave the keys at the front desk of your hotel.”

      “Wait,” she said desperately, rising to her feet. “You can’t leave. I need you—”

      He left without a backward glance.

      Madison staggered back.

      “Does this mean the wedding is off?” Edward inquired pleasantly.

      Ignoring him, she slowly turned to face me. “Diana. I know I’ve done a lot of stupid and selfish things. But I never thought you would be the one to list them out. Not you.”

      The injured fury in my heart deserted me, just when I needed it most. I rose to my feet.

      “I never thought you would attack me like that.” Her crystalline eyes glimmered in the candlelight. Her voice caught as she looked away. “You’re not my big sister. You’re just like all the rest.”

      My throat suddenly hurt as I remembered how we first met, virtual strangers to each other attending our parents’ wedding as slightly-too-old flower girls, both feeling awkward, uncertain. My mom had told me Madison’s mother died of a drug overdose when she was a toddler. So be nice to her, she’d chided.

      Seeing her sad little face, I’d wanted to protect her. We’re family now, I’d said at the wedding, hugging her over the flowers. I’m gonna be your big sister, Maddy. So don’t worry. I’ll take care of you.

      “Maddy—” I whispered.

      “Forget it,” Madison choked out. “Just forget it.”

      She turned away in a cloud of grief and expensive perfume, stumbling out of Penryth Hall, calling Jason’s name, then her bodyguards’.

      The great hall was suddenly quiet, the only sound the whipping of the wind outside rattling the glass panes of the windows.

      Edward looked at me.

      “I wondered what it would be like, if you ever really let yourself go,” he said quietly. “Now I know.”

      A sob lifted to my throat. My knees wobbled beneath me, and suddenly Edward was there, catching me before I could fall. I stared up at him in bewilderment, wondering how he’d moved so fast.

      “I was horrible,” I whispered.

      “You were magnificent,” he said softly, brushing hair from my face.

      “Magnificent?” I gave a harsh laugh. “I was so determined to list all her faults. But what I’ve done is worse.”

      “What’s that?”

      “I told her I’d always take care of her,” I whispered. “Then I hurt her like this....”

      “Seems like she had it coming,” he said softly, caressing my cheek.

      I shuddered at his touch, longing for his comfort, fighting the desire to turn my cheek into his caress. “All these years I’ve blamed her for taking the role that might have made me a star. But it was never mine in the first place. She was right. I had the chance to audition. I went home.”

      “To be with your mother...”

      “Whatever the reason. It was a choice I made.” I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand. “After losing my parents, and the role of Moxie, I never wanted to have my heart crushed again. It’s not Madison’s fault I spent the next ten years hiding, not letting myself feel or want too much....”

      “Until you fell for Jason,” he said.

      But was Jason the exception? Or had he just been one more example of me taking the safe path? The thought was new and troubling.

      Swallowing, I looked up at Edward through shimmering tears.

      “It wasn’t Madison’s fault,” I whispered. “I did it to myself. I chose to be a coward.” My voice caught as I turned away. “Playing it safe has ruined my life.”

      Edward said quietly, “Your life isn’t over yet.”

      Our eyes locked in the shadowy great hall. An almost palpable electricity

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