LITMIR.BIZ

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a hum and a sigh. The whole evening had been strained. Rory tried to pretend things weren’t different between them, but they were. This time yesterday, he would have flirted with her. He also would have found something to do in her living room rather than watch her and Finley make cookies. He’d clearly been bored. Yet, he stayed in the room. As if he didn’t trust her not to break down.

      Expecting to see Finley on the foyer floor struggling with her boots, she paused when she saw the empty space. “Wonder where she is?”

      Rory’s steps quickened as he ran to the closet. But as he passed the living room entryway, he stopped. “Look.”

      She peered into the living room and there, on the sofa, sleeping like an angel was Finley. Warmth enveloped her like a soft sigh of contentment. “She’s so cute.”

      “Yeah,” Rory agreed, slowly walking toward her. Gazing down at his daughter he said, “You’ve done so much for her, helping her to get into the spirit of Christmas.”

      She swallowed. “It was my pleasure.”

      “I wonder what other things she might like?”

      “Might like?”

      “About Christmas.” He glanced over. “We’ve decorated, made cookies. You’ve even gotten her to like carols. But that’s just the tip of the holiday iceberg. There are lots of things she’s never experienced. Now that she’s open, I’d like to introduce her to everything…make her like everything so that this time next year she’ll be excited for Christmas, not sad.”

      Shannon bit her lower lip. She knew exactly what it was like not to look forward to the holiday. She knew what it felt like to wish every day could be normal because the special days only pointed out that you had no one to share them with. “Maybe we could get her to sit on Santa’s lap.”

      Rory laughed as if he didn’t think she’d been serious. He caught her gaze again. “That’s like asking a guy who’s just learned to hike if he wants to try Everest.”

      “I suppose.” But a weird, defensive feeling assaulted her. Up to this point Rory had taken every suggestion she’d given him. Now that he knew she couldn’t have kids, it was as if he didn’t trust her. That might have even been why he’d stayed in the kitchen with them during cookie making.

      Sadness shimmied through her. She turned and headed for the closet. “I’ll get her coat and boots.”

      “Thanks.”

      When she returned to the living room, Rory sat on the edge of the sofa cushion beside Finley. Shannon handed him Finley’s boots. She didn’t even stir as he slid them on. But he had to lift her to get her into her coat and hat. Still, though she stirred, she really didn’t waken. She put her head on Rory’s shoulder when he lifted her into his arms and carried her to the foyer.

      Shannon raced to open the door for them. With Finley sound asleep, it was the first time they’d said a private goodbye at the door.

      “Thanks for coming over tonight. Even with the extra time to teach Finley, your help cut my cookie-making time in half.” She tried to give him a confident happy smile, but it wobbled. It had meant the world to her to have Finley to teach. To have people to share her cookie-making joy with. Just to have people around who cared about her. Deep down, she knew that was why he’d come, why he’d brought Finley. He now knew she was sad. So he’d tried to cheer her.

      But that’s all it was. The kindness of one human being to another. Not a gesture of love as it might have been the day before—when he didn’t know she couldn’t have kids.

      The injustice of it punched through her, made her want to rail at the universe. But she didn’t. She was the one who had made the choice to tell him, and for good reason. She couldn’t be angry that she had.

      Rory smiled awkwardly. “We were glad to help.” He cleared his throat. “You know, today, when I asked if Finley was a bother—” He cleared his throat again. “I was just worried that she kept you from getting your work done. She likes being with you. I like letting her spend time with you.”

      Relief rolled through her, stole her breath, thickened her throat. She whispered, “Thanks.”

      “So tomorrow, while I’m walking around on the sales floor, talking with staff, watching how things are done, you could keep her all day if you like.”

      “Yes. That would be great.”

      “Okay.”

      “Okay.”

      Silence ensued again. If she hadn’t yet told him, she knew he’d probably try to kiss her good-night right now. Her heart stumbled in her chest. She’d hurt both of them, because she was afraid of a bigger hurt to follow.

      But it had been the right thing to do.

      It had to be.

      Because if it wasn’t, she was missing out for nothing.

      She twisted the doorknob, opened the door. “I’ll see you in the morning then.”

      “Yes.”

      “Drive carefully.”

      He nodded, gave her one last look, then walked out to the porch.

      She waited until Finley was securely buckled in and Rory had jumped behind the steering wheel, before she turned off the porch light, closed the door and leaned against it. She had another entire day of Finley’s company and, if she was lucky, a little time Christmas Eve morning before they returned to Virginia. She should be overjoyed.

      Instead sadness softened her soul. She liked Rory. Really liked him. Probably loved him. And she’d chased him away.

       CHAPTER ELEVEN

      THE NEXT MORNING Rory kissed Finley goodbye before he walked out of Shannon’s office to investigate the store. Dressed in jeans and a leather jacket, so the cashiers and shoppers wouldn’t guess who he was, he looked so cute that Shannon felt a lightning bolt of longing. But she contented herself with the fact that she had Finley all day again.

      “So any thoughts on what you’d like to do today?”

      From her seat on the sofa near the big-screen TV, Finley peeked over at her. “Don’t you have papers?”

      She laughed. “Yes. But I came in early to review them. I’m all yours this morning. So what do you want to do? Go to the candy store again? Maybe the toy store?” she suggested, hoping Finley would say yes so she could buy her a gift. Something special. Something she knew Finley would want. And maybe keep to remember her by.

      Finley sucked in a breath. “I’d sorta like to go shopping.”

      “Great! Where? The toy store?”

      She shook her head, sending her fine blond hair swinging. “I wanna buy a present for Daddy.”

      “Oh.” Wow. She’d never thought of that. A little kid like Finley, especially a child with only one parent, probably didn’t get a lot of chances to shop for Christmas gifts. But considering Finley’s life, a more important question popped into her head. “Have you ever bought your dad a Christmas gift?”

      She shook her head again. “No.”

      Though her heart twisted with a combination of love and sadness for sweet little Finley, she deliberately made her voice light and teasing so Finley’s first experience of Christmas shopping would be fun. “Well, then this is your lucky day because we have an excellent men’s department here at Raleigh’s.”

      Finley rewarded her with a giggle.

      “Let’s go!” She caught her hand and led her to the elevator. Inside the little box with “We Wish You a Merry Christmas” spilling from the speakers, she pressed the button for the second floor. Menswear.

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