LITMIR.BIZ

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colourless prat.

      She can do a hundred times better than you too.

      Nicola smiled and chatted. She sighed her way through the service before asking if they could give another couple a ride to the reception. She seemed to genuinely enjoy herself and none of that enjoyment seemed forced. The service and the reception didn’t appear to give her pain or make her feel awkward. He kept an eagle eye out for either, ready to do whatever he could to help, to boost her confidence, but …

      She didn’t need it.

      Her grace and poise impressed him. It also made him feel at a loss. He knew exactly how to fluster her. All it would take would be a sly caress to her arm and a scorching survey of her lips and—

       This is about her, not you!

      He refreshed her glass of champagne and, for what felt like the first time that evening, found himself alone with her. ‘Is it the ordeal you thought it would be?’

      She sipped her champagne and then shook her head. ‘No, it’s been kind of nice and a lot of fun.’

      She hadn’t needed him at all. His heart burned at that realisation. ‘Would you like to dance?’

      Slowly she shook her head. ‘I think I’d rather just chat.’

      He ached to hold her in his arms, but wasn’t sure of his own strength on that score. He gritted his teeth. Chatting would be good. He held her chair out for her. She sat and he planted himself in the seat beside her. ‘Your mother isn’t anything like I imagined.’

      Her eyes lit up and she leaned towards him, swamping him with the sweetness of her scent. ‘We had the most amazing discussion when I got home from Waminda.’

      ‘Tell me,’ he urged.

      They talked for three straight hours. Cade couldn’t believe it was time to take her home.

      He tucked her into the car and then slid in behind the wheel. ‘The night is yet young. Would you like to go to a bar or a club? We could go for a drink or go dancing or—’

      ‘Why?’

      The single question pulled him to a halt. He met her gaze. His heart pounded. ‘There’s quite a long answer to that.’

      She stared at him for several long moments and he didn’t kid himself that the outcome of those moments would not seal his fate. They would. He held his breath while his chest cramped.

      ‘A walk along the Southbank would be nice. We could grab a coffee, maybe.’

      He lifted her hand from her lap and brushed his lips across the backs of her fingers. ‘Thank you.’

      Nicola’s heart thudded against her ribs as she and Cade walked beside the river, the Southbank foreshore bright with lights, Saturday night revelry and Melbourne’s bright young things. It was vibrant, zesty and normally she loved it.

      Tonight, though, she couldn’t focus on it. Tonight, all her attention was on the man who walked beside her with a stern expression on his face and a contrasting warmth in his eyes. He didn’t try to take her hand or touch her in any way. She did all she could to combat a growing sense of disappointment.

      It was for the best. She knew it was for the best. Her body, however, refused to believe it, found no consolation in common sense.

      And, God forgive her, but she couldn’t help but lap up every exquisite minute she spent in his company. She closed her eyes and savoured the sound of his voice. She drank in the familiar way he held his head, the breadth of his shoulders and the long masculine stride he adjusted to her shorter ones. The smiles he sent her.

      And the warmth in his eyes.

      She stowed them all away deep in her heart to take out and cherish later, because she didn’t fool herself. Tomorrow he would be gone and in all likelihood she would never see him again. The thought made her heartbeat pound in her ears and pain throb in her chest. She pushed it away. Tomorrow—she’d deal with it tomorrow.

      She didn’t urge him to talk. The sooner he’d said whatever it was he needed to say, the sooner he’d take her home and this strange, exhilarating, bittersweet night would end. She didn’t take his arm and lead him into one of the restaurants or cafés that lined the riverside either. She didn’t want to share him with the crowds, the light or the laughter.

      Her heart gave a giant surge when he took her hand and led her to a bench that overlooked the river. For a moment she thought he was going to keep a hold of her, but then he let go.

      She sat and stared out at the river to hide her disappointment. Those blue eyes of his had always seen too much.

      ‘There’s a lot I want to say, Nicola.’

      She counted to three and when she was sure of herself, she looked up. She wished her eyes were half as perceptive as his. She’d give anything to know what he was thinking. She remembered the way he’d held her when she’d cried, the way he’d fed her chocolate sultanas and the way they’d laughed and laughed on the veranda that night, and she nodded. ‘We have all night, Cade. There’s nowhere else I need to be.’

      ‘Good.’ He nodded, and then sat. He rested his elbows on his knees, hands lightly clasped in front of him and lips pursed as he stared out at the dark river. Then he straightened again and met her gaze. ‘First, I want to apologise to you for that appalling proposal of marriage. I didn’t see at the time what an insult it was. I do now and I want you to know I am truly and deeply sorry.’

      ‘That’s okay.’ It was an automatic response, but she didn’t doubt his sincerity.

      ‘It wasn’t okay.’ He shook his head, but then his lips tilted a fraction. ‘That said, I’m still hoping you’ll forgive me.’ His eyes glittered in the half dark. ‘You deserve so much more than that half-baked scheme I offered. You deserve a man who worships the very ground you walk on.’

      Her breath caught at the force of his words. And then her heart started to burn. Cade was never going to be that man, was he?

      She swallowed back a lump. ‘I accept your apology, Cade. All’s forgiven. You panicked, that’s all.’

      She suddenly wanted away from here, away from this man who would never love her the way she wanted him to love her. The sweetness of their meeting could no longer counter its bitterness. She shot to her feet, but then didn’t know what to do. She took a couple of steps forward to stare down at the water.

      ‘I’ve missed you, Nicola.’

      She dragged in a breath. She folded her arms and turned back. ‘I’ve missed all of you too.’

      His eyes didn’t waver as he rose and joined her. ‘Yes—Ella, Holly, Harry and Jack all miss you as well. But I’m not talking about them. I’m talking about me. I miss you.’

      Her mouth went dry. She couldn’t speak.

      ‘And yes, I miss seeing you with the girls. I miss watching you tickle Holly until she’s laughing uncontrollably, and I miss the way you and Ella have the most serious conversations and then Ella jumps up smiling as if you’ve given her the secret of the universe. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss those things. They’re not what I miss the most, though.’

      They weren’t? Her heartbeat drummed out a tattoo she thought anyone within a ten-metre radius must hear.

      ‘I miss the scent of strawberry jam in my days. I miss watching you walk across a room where I can admire the very shape of you.’

      Heat flared in her cheeks.

      ‘I miss the shape of your mouth. I miss the taste of you.’

      ‘Oh!’ She pressed her hands to her cheeks in an effort to cool them.

      He shrugged and sent her a sheepish grin. ‘What can I say? I’m a guy. It’s how I’m wired.’ He took her hands. ‘But even those aren’t the things I miss

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