LITMIR.BIZ

Скачать книгу

‘Up until the time we made love, only a few short hours ago, I would never have dared to think that you might love me too. But I felt the heat of your body as you touched me, heard your cry of release when you came, listened to the beat of your heart as you fell asleep with me in your arms. And that has given me hope.

      ‘So, if there is any chance that you might love me too, then I’m going to drag it out of you. It doesn’t have to make any difference to our relationship. I will still leave for Dorrada, if that’s what you want. I will agree to the annulment of the marriage, sever all contact with you for ever, if you truly believe that’s how it has to be. But, if you feel any love for me, I believe I have the right to be told.’

      Zahir felt Anna’s impassioned speech rock the very foundation of his being, dislodging the corner stone that kept him upright, made him the man he was. He could feel himself wobble, threatening to tumble like a pile of building blocks at her feet.

      All his life he had been so sure of his focus. His beloved country had been what mattered. That was at the heart of everything he did, including the reason he had married Annalina and brought her here. But his judgement had been flawed, and not for the first time. Now she was challenging his decision to release her, pushing and pushing, messing with his head until he no longer knew right from wrong any more. Her declaration of love, delivered with such composure, had ripped him wide open. And now she seemed determined to make him stare into the very depths of his own heart.

      He looked down at her beautiful, open face, so moved by her words that he couldn’t think straight. He wanted to be able to formulate some sort of reply but nothing would come, his throat choked with something that felt alarmingly like tears. Turning his head away, he swallowed madly.

      ‘Zahir?’ She reached for him again, taking his face in her hands and holding it firmly in her cold grip, her gaze raking mercilessly over every tortured inch of it. Zahir tried to blink, to look away, but it was too late. She had already seen the sheen in his eyes. ‘Oh, Zahir!’

      Raising herself up, she touched his lips with her own, nudging them with the gentlest feather-light pressure. ‘Say it. Say it to me now.’

      ‘No!’ Her breath was a soft whisper on his skin but still he fought off its assault. Anger was beginning to surge through him now at the way she was clawing at his masculinity, delving into his soul. That he, Zahir Zahani, the warrior prince, had been almost reduced to tears by this young woman was unthinkable. He would not stand for it. ‘I will not say it. I cannot.’

      ‘Why, Zahir? Because it isn’t true? Or because you refuse to accept it?’

      ‘Either, both, I don’t know.’ Screwing up his eyes, he wrenched her hands from his face and took a step back. ‘This subject is now closed. We are going back to the car.’

      ‘No, not yet.’ Still she persisted, her feet firmly planted in front of him. ‘I’m not going anywhere until I have seen you let yourself open up to the possibility of the truth.’

      Zahir scowled at her through the slits of his eyes. ‘And what the hell does that mean?’

      ‘It means that I want you to promise that you will sit and let yourself feel. Just this once. Just for me. I want you to banish the pride, the fear or whatever else it is that’s holding you back and let the truth come through. Set it free. Whatever that truth is, I will accept it and I will never ask you to speak it again. But you owe me this one thing, Zahir.’

      Zahir hesitated. If this hippy nonsense meant that she would finally release him, end this terrible inquisition, then maybe he would do it. ‘Very well.’ He watched as Annalina moved away to give him some space, sitting herself down and hugging her knees, her focus straight ahead. Suddenly it was just him and the sparkling clarity of the new day. There was nowhere to hide.

      He let his eyelids drop. Presumably this was what she expected of him so he would play along. He breathed in and out, letting his shoulders drop, the arms that were folded so tightly across his chest loosen. He felt himself relax.

      Annalina. The spirit of her came out of nowhere, filling his head, his heart, his whole body. He tried to fight against it, against the witchcraft, black magic or whatever spell it was that she had cast over him, but it was hopeless. Suddenly he was exposed, laid bare, everything he had been denying, blocking out, pushing away, presented before him with bruising clarity. And, more than that, as if a tap was being turned on inside him he could feel the empty vessel that he had once been filling, gushing and gushing until he was almost drowning from the flood of it, gasping for air. And then it was too late, he had no control any more, and the wave crashed over him. And suddenly he recognised the phenomenon for what it was: the acceptance of love.

      Beside her Anna felt Zahir move, closing the gap between them until he was in front of her, standing so tall that he blotted out the rising sun. She forced her eyes slowly to travel up the length of his body but they halted at his chest, the terrible fear of what she might see refusing to let them go to his face. She was wrong. He didn’t love her. It was a crazy, stupid idea, born of desperation and the blindness of her own feelings.

      ‘Anna?’ He stretched out his hands to her and she took hold of them, letting herself be pulled to standing. It was the first time she had heard him shorten her name. ‘Please forgive me.’ She felt her heart stutter with panic as his eyes sought hers, the near-black intensity impossible to read.

      ‘Just now I called you a fool, but now I see that I am the fool.’ He spoke softly but with grim determination. ‘Now I see that what I took for strength and responsibility was actually bullying and intimidation. Never once did I allow myself to stop and look at you for who you really are because that would have exposed my own weakness.’ He looked down at their joined hands then back to her face.

      ‘For not only are you beautiful, Annalina—the most remarkable, extraordinary woman that I have ever met—but you are also brave. So much braver than me. Somehow you found the courage to declare your feelings for me, even in the face of my callous hostility. Whereas I…’ He paused, the effort of overthrowing a lifetime of crippling detachment evident from the glitter in the depths of his eyes. ‘I was too scared to examine how I felt for fear of what I would find there. A man who was unworthy of you in every way, who could never hope to earn your affection, let alone your love. I thought your love was far beyond anything I could ever deserve and that is why I dismissed it so cruelly. And the reason why I beg your forgiveness.’

      ‘There is nothing to forgive, really.’ Suddenly Anna didn’t want to hear any more. If this was Zahir letting her down gently it was even more unbearably painful than his cold-blooded disregard. ‘You don’t have to explain any further.’

      ‘Oh, but I do.’ He brought her hands to his chest, clasping them against his heart. ‘I have been callous and I have been cruel. By sending you away I thought I was protecting you from my brother but in reality I was only protecting myself, my own heart. But your courage has stripped away that defence and made me see what was there all along. And that is this.’ He paused, raking in a breath that came from deep, deep within his soul. ‘I love you, Annalina. I think I always have and I know I always will.’

      For a second Anna let the words sink in, feeling them spread through her body with a ripple of pleasure that grew and grew until she thought she might explode with the joy of it. Then, throwing herself forward, she fell against him, revelling in the glorious strength of his arms as they wrapped around her, holding her so tightly against him. For several precious heartbeats they stayed locked in this embrace until Zahir loosened his hold and pulled back so that he could take her face in his hands.

      ‘My most precious Annalina. You have shone light into my darkness, filled a void that I didn’t know was there, stirred a heart that didn’t know how to beat. And you have even made me find the words to tell you that.’ He smiled now, the most wonderful, tender smile, and Anna felt the warmth of it flood over her, filling her to the brim with love. ‘If you will have me, I am yours for ever more.’

      ‘Oh, yes, I will have you.’ With his features blurred by tears, Anna let her fingers trace the familiar contours of his face. ‘And what’s more, Zahir, I will never, ever let

Скачать книгу