LITMIR.BIZ

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for not wanting to reach out. There was no point, he reasoned. No good would come of it. He’d been burnt, he knew his limits and that was why he steered his life away from anything that resembled long-term responsibility.

      ‘Jade,’ he began, ‘I’m sorry that I couldn’t be there for Amber but, in all honesty, I didn’t think it would have been fair to drop in and disrupt the life she had with you and then hoist sail and take off. You provided stability for Amber. I didn’t want to wreck that when I may not have been around for too long. Over the last decade, I’ve never stayed in one place for any length of time.’

      His words were honest but they were not the entire story. He would rather appear shallow and deflect people than try to be something he wasn’t and then hurt them in the long run. He just hoped that this explanation would suffice so he could leave that part of his life behind. And that part of his mother’s life too. It had been sad for everyone and they were all in a better place now.

      Jade wanted to hate him but the look in his eyes was somehow making that difficult. She sensed there was more to his behaviour than that, but taking a deep breath she decided that it was perhaps not the time to dig any deeper. It was late, she was tired and he had apologised. His reasons were flimsy at best but she also had to accept that losing his brother may have affected him differently. Everyone had their own way of dealing with grief. She had changed her life and settled down; Mitchell had done the opposite. Although his life on the run had started long before the accident, whatever affected Mitchell had happened well before he’d lost his brother. He clearly didn’t see the world the way she did. It was best, she thought, to let it go for the time being.

      Mitchell was nothing like David. And she and Amber both needed someone exactly like David. Dependable and giving with unbreakable ties to family. Mitchell didn’t tick even one of those boxes. He was just a handsome drifter, a man with a wandering spirit and more than likely a wandering heart.

      The night was warm and the ceiling fan was moving the air above them gently as Jade looked across the black ocean in silence. She had said enough. They both had.

      The moon lit the waves as they rolled in to shore and she closed her eyes for a moment. So much had happened over the past three years. So much had changed. Three years ago she would never have thought her life would play out the way it had.

      The old Jade’s focus had been on living for the moment and the new Jade’s was on responsibility. At times she wished her outlook on life wasn’t crippled by fear, but that came with the territory of losing Ruby and David. She refused to let anything happen to Amber, ever, even if it meant wrapping her in cotton wool sometimes. It was something that Mitchell would never understand. And something she would not bother even trying to explain.

      Mitchell lived in another world. And she remembered for a moment that she had once lived in a similar one. But she didn’t miss it. What she had was infinitely better. She had Amber and the little girl filled her life and her heart.

      As she slowly opened her eyes she felt her animosity start to lessen and looking across at Mitchell she felt it being replaced with sadness for what he had missed by not being a part of his niece’s life. And for what he would miss in the future. Living the life of a rolling stone, he would never experience the joy she had every day waking up to Amber’s precious face and the warmth of her cuddle.

      ‘You’ve done an amazing job raising Amber,’ Mitchell said, his voice husky and low and his eyes focused on hers.

      Jade was taken aback by his unexpected compliment. She lowered her gaze, a little from feeling self-conscious and a little tired from the toll of a long day of travel, and graciously accepted the olive branch. ‘Thank you, Mitchell.’

      He poured some more iced water into their glasses and took a sip as he watched Jade sitting in the light of the moon. Unexpectedly for Mitchell, the longer he looked, the more Jade’s prettiness became evident, no matter how she tried to hide it. She was cute. But not his type, he reminded himself. She was a little too serious for his liking. She was a combination of mother earth and elementary teacher with a hint of Sunday school thrown in for good measure. But he was still finding himself drawn to her and he had no idea why.

      They were opposites of each other on every level. They both wanted only the best for Amber but that connection was as far as it would go. An unspoken truce was created in the warm evening breeze. Jade decided to leave the past where it belonged. And she also made a promise to herself … to leave Mitchell where he also belonged, at arm’s length.

       CHAPTER THREE

      WITHIN MINUTES OF Jade’s head resting back into the softness of the pillow in the bed next to Amber’s she fell into a deep sleep. The past twenty-four hours had been a whirlwind. It had been happy, exhausting and a little confronting. The happiness exuded by Amber’s grandparents was contagious. It was evident to anyone within a mile that Maureen and Arthur had fallen in love with Amber on sight.

      Amber seemed to be enjoying the attention and being spoilt by the very kind people she had learned were her grandma and grandpa. Jade had often spoken of them over the years, and the cards and presents had arrived in the mail, but to the three-year-old they hadn’t become a reality until they’d been in the same room.

      The long-haul flight had been the tiring element but to Amber’s credit she hadn’t complained, although flying first class had made it much more enjoyable, and Jade was extremely grateful for that.

      Then there was Mitchell. Meeting him had been surprisingly unsettling. She had expected so much less than the dangerously attractive windsurfer. Her mind’s image of Amber’s uncle had been of a scruffy, sunburnt wanderer, not unlike the survivor of a shipwreck, with hair and beard that resembled an unkempt hedge. The reality was so far removed from that. He was gorgeous and as far as she could see he was under Amber’s innocent spell. But how long would that last? she wondered. Would the novelty of a niece fade as he realised that it brought with it responsibility? Although her anger was fading, her defences were still high. She accepted that he was equally irresponsible and compassionate. A walking contradiction. But no matter what, his irresponsible side would guarantee that there would be no fun excursions without her consent.

      In the moments before sleep claimed her, she admitted to herself that she was suddenly experiencing emotions that she had long since packed away. Her head was spinning madly and she knew the old Jade would have stepped up and enjoyed life the way she’d known how—at full speed with no brakes and no questions. But she couldn’t. Not any more. She was Amber’s guardian and she knew that it required her to behave as a dependable and controlled adult, like her sister. Providing guidance and being a role model was the job description. The Jade of old had been neither. She would have been more of a warning than a role model to her niece.

      Amber had to be her one and only focus. There was no room for a relationship and with a man like Mitchell a relationship would amount to one night of pleasure before he headed off to some remote location on a different continent for an indefinite period. But she dared not imagine what that night of pleasure would be like. His innocent touch sent her spiralling, so a night alone in his bed would no doubt be close to heaven.

      But now she had to push those needs aside and think of someone else before herself. In her heart, Jade would always know she was the reason Amber didn’t have her parents raising her so she intended to spend her life making it up to Amber.

      One day, when Amber was much older, they would have that conversation. Jade hoped Amber would forgive her for sending Ruby and David away on that fateful trip. Maureen and Arthur had pleaded with Jade not to hold on to any blame when they had attended the funeral but that didn’t abate the sadness and sense of responsibility she felt. She wondered if Mitchell knew the circumstances of the accident, not that she cared what he thought about her anyway. But judging by his behaviour he was not exactly strolling along any moral high road.

      It didn’t please Jade that Mitchell’s handsome face was the last thing she pictured before she fell asleep and her first vision in the morning.

      

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