LITMIR.BIZ

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or anything, she only wanted to stay up and capture every moment of the magic.

      She would hide in her room with a flashlight under her covers, humming Christmas songs or reading one of her favorite Christmas stories or perhaps making one up in her head.

      A quick check of her phone revealed it was past 3:00 a.m. This was becoming quite a habit during her stay at Snow Angel Cove.

      Staying up all night on Christmas Eve might have worked when she was a little girl who could nap with her new toys tucked around her, after the rush and frenzy of opening presents was over. As a mother and as an employee, she didn’t have that luxury. She was going to be exhausted in the morning.

      She could sleep in a little, assuming Maddie did, but that was far from a certainty. Her only real job in the morning was to preheat the oven about nine o’clock and then add the breakfast casseroles she had helped Sue prepare the afternoon before.

      Each of the siblings was to spend Christmas morning with his or her own family before they all came together for a casual, no-frills brunch.

      She rolled over, trying for a more comfortable position. Her body was certainly tired after a long day and an even more hectic week preceding it, but her mind wouldn’t seem to settle.

      The evening had been wonderful. Her perfect image of a big, boisterous family Christmas. After Aidan’s announcement, the family had been upset with him but they had all forgiven him for withholding the information, as she had fully expected.

      After the delicious dinner, she had seen his sister-in-law Christine—a pediatrician in Denver—peppering him with questions while Charlotte and Dylan interjected a few of their own.

      When the meal had been cleaned up, Dermot read the Christmas story from the New Testament in his lilting Irish brogue and then the children performed the short collection of songs they had prepared: “Jingle Bells,” “Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer,” Maddie’s favorite, “Away in a Manger,” as well as a medley of angel-themed Christmas songs in honor of the house’s name—“Angels we have Heard on High” and “Hark the Herald Angels Sing.”

      It didn’t escape her attention that Aidan had slipped out shortly after the children sang and didn’t come back in again while the family was playing laughter-filled party games she had suggested or while they were all heading to bed.

      Small doses of family worked best for him, apparently. She could understand that, she supposed.

      She flipped her pillow and tried that side for a few minutes, then finally sighed and slipped from bed, surrendering to the inevitable. Sleep would continue to elude her until she managed to calm her mind. She would have some chamomile tea while she checked to make sure everything was ready for Christmas morning, then she would likely be able to drift off for a few hours.

      Careful not to wake her daughter, she pulled on slippers and robe, then quietly made her way to the kitchen, where she plugged in the electric kettle and mentally went over the items on Sue’s menu for the day as she waited for the kettle to heat.

      When it was ready, she poured it over her chamomile then carried the steeping tea through the house, pausing for a moment in the great room by the huge tree that reflected a kaleidoscope of colors in the huge windows.

      The younger children had insisted they keep the tree lights on all night so Santa could find his way. Even the teenagers had chimed in to agree with that one.

      It was beautiful, she thought again. The whole house was the perfect holiday gathering place for an extended family, with a wide variety of entertainment options and warm, welcoming conversation spots as well as more private nooks for those who might prefer their own space.

      Would the Caines come here again next year? Perhaps they would make it a tradition—or perhaps they would alternate between here and their homes in Hope’s Crossing. Wherever they met, their Christmases would be filled with laughter and fun.

      She felt a sharp ache in her chest at the thought and especially at the realization that she wouldn’t be there to enjoy those future holiday gatherings.

      This season spent at Snow Angel Cove would probably spoil her for all other Christmases.

      She sipped at her tea, trying not to feel too depressed about it. She and Maddie had been fortunate enough to be welcomed into the Caine family circle for the holidays and it would be sour indeed for her to already bemoan that she couldn’t have another with them.

      She sat for a while alone in the great room with the gleaming Christmas tree. When she finally rose to go, she noticed a light on at the end of the hall.

      Aidan’s office.

      Surely he wasn’t still working in the early hours of Christmas morning?

      Though she knew he wouldn’t want to be disturbed, she couldn’t seem to help herself from walking down the hall and knocking softly on the door. He didn’t answer. Had he fallen asleep at his desk? she wondered. It wouldn’t surprise her.

      After a moment’s hesitation, she pushed the door open slightly, just enough to peek in, and then paused in the doorway.

      He wasn’t asleep. He was sitting with his back to her working on three different computers at once, his fingers flying over the keys. He had headphones on and was completely absorbed in his work.

      She couldn’t tell what he was doing—for all she knew, it might be Spider Solitaire. Whatever it was, she was utterly fascinated by his single-minded focus.

      “There you are, you son of a bitch. That’s it. That’s it!” he suddenly said with a delighted laugh.

      As she watched him work, one firm, unshakable conviction seemed to settle over her.

      She was in love with him.

      The realization rolled over her like a snowball building up bulk and speed as it rolled down a mountainside.

      She was in love with Aidan Caine.

      It seemed an odd moment for the epiphany, while she spied on him cursing at a computer, but there it was.

      The feelings had been building, like that snowball, for days. She loved his stubbornness and his dedication, his love for his family, his gentleness with her daughter.

      Her heart ached as she watched his fingers dance over the keyboard. Okay, she loved him. So what? This, right here, was exactly the reason she could never do anything about that love.

      She didn’t want a man who would be working with such single-minded focus at 4:00 a.m. on Christmas morning. She wanted a man who would be able to put her and her daughter first in his life.

      He might go out and conquer the world all day long. She was fine with that—in fact, she loved that about him, too, his passion and his drive and his wild creativity. But she wanted to know she came first in his heart.

      She had been married once to a man who had, in his efforts to give her and Maddie what he thought they needed, been unable or unwilling to provide what they needed most. His time, his heart.

      She wouldn’t put herself through that again.

      Her chest ached and her eyes burned with tears as she slipped from the room.

      She loved him and leaving would shatter her heart into a million tiny shards but she didn’t have a choice. She had no place in his life, in his world.

      Somehow she would stay until his family left. She had made a promise and she didn’t take promises lightly. When the holidays were over, she would take Maddie and leave Snow Angel Cove and would throw herself into doing whatever it took to put back together the pieces of her life.

      * * *

      “THIS WAS MY very best Christmas ever.”

      “Was it?” Eliza smiled and hugged her daughter. A grand total of six Christmases—three of them spent in the hospital—wasn’t exactly a huge pool to choose from but Eliza still appreciated the exuberance.

      “It

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