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paused, gazing down the lane again. “Maybe she shouldn’t come back here,” she said slowly.

      This was a drastic about-face. “But I thought you were trying to—”

      “Never mind what I was trying to do.” Jill stepped to the end of the porch, away from the screen door, and gestured, with a jerk of her head for him to join her.

      He obeyed.

      “After the sawmill accident, the grief almost killed her,” Jill said softly.

      “Of course it did. We were all stricken.”

      “But it was worse for Noelle. She went into a deep depression, had awful nightmares, told me she woke up screaming every night for the first month after the funerals.”

      “She had a lot of other things on her mind at the time, and besides, she’s not the same person she was ten years ago.” He hesitated. “Did she say what the dreams were about?”

      “She kept reliving the accident, as if she were one of the victims watching the logs tumble onto her. She had to quit her job, which really threw that ex-husband of hers into a tizzy, because at the time they were dependent on her income to support them—and his drug habit.” Jill’s voice dripped with disdain.

      “Did she get professional help?”

      “Oh, she went to her family doctor, and he prescribed an antidepressant. She took it for three weeks, then flushed the rest down the toilet. She said it made her ears ring. You know how independent she can be.”

      “She takes after her sister.”

      Jill gave him a half-hearted scowl.

      “Did the antidepressant help her at all?” he asked.

      “Are you kidding? After just three weeks?” Jill snorted. “I even got some of that herbal stuff Pearl’s always trying to push off on everyone. Noelle still had the nightmares for a long time afterward.”

      “She told me a little about that time,” Nathan said.

      “Now it’ll start all over. What’s she going to do when she wakes up in the middle of the night and finds herself alone?”

      “Jill, Noelle is a big girl. She can take care of herself.” He studied Jill’s expression for a moment. She didn’t look at him, but kept her gaze focused on the trees across the road.

      There was something about her behavior that caught his attention. She stood with her shoulders hunched forward, arms crossed, head bowed slightly. What wasn’t she telling him? He knew better than to ask.

      “You can’t shield her from pain by building a wall around her,” he said.

      “I’m not building a wall, I’m just—”

      “You’re still trying to be her mother. Stop it, or you’ll smother her completely. Let her handle her own problems.”

      She sighed and shook her head, then turned away from him. “Fine, then you be there for her when her nightmares return.”

      “She’s told me a little about Joel and her marriage.”

      “Yes, but how much did she tell you? She has a tendency to downplay certain aspects of her life so no one will worry.”

      “Maybe that’s because she knows we tend to worry too much,” he said gently. “Jill, you knew Joel a lot better than I did. Do you think his return could in any way be connected to Carissa’s disappearance?”

      She didn’t react, which meant she’d already considered the possibility. “I don’t know. As crazy as he got sometimes, I wouldn’t put it past him.” She turned and looked up at Nathan, arms still folded over her chest. “Maybe we should tell the sheriff to check him out.”

      “Maybe we should.”

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