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Nathalia Buttface and the Most Epically Embarrassing Trip Ever. Nigel Smith
Читать онлайн.Название Nathalia Buttface and the Most Epically Embarrassing Trip Ever
Год выпуска 0
isbn 9780007545247
Автор произведения Nigel Smith
Жанр Детская проза
Издательство HarperCollins
First published in Great Britain by HarperCollins Children’s Books 2015
HarperCollins Children’s Books is a division of HarperCollins Publishers Ltd,
HarperCollins Publishers
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London, SE1 9GF
The HarperCollins Children’s Books website address is
Nathalia Buttface and the Most Epically Embarrassing Trip Ever
Text copyright © Nigel Smith 2015
Cover illustration © Sarah Horne 2015
Nigel Smith and Sarah Horne assert the moral right to be identified as the author and illustrator of this work.
All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins.
Source ISBN: 9780007545230
Ebook Edition © 2015 ISBN: 9780007545247
Version: 2015-02-13
To Michèle. Because mums who live with embarrassing dads suffer just as much.
Contents
Copyright
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-one
Chapter Twenty-two
Chapter Twenty-three
Chapter Twenty-four
Chapter Twenty-five
Chapter Twenty-six
Chapter Twenty-seven
Chapter Twenty-eight
Chapter Twenty-nine
Chapter Thirty
Chapter Thirty-one
Chapter Thirty-two
Chapter Thirty-three
Chapter Thirty-four
Chapter Thirty-five
Chapter Thirty-six
The Bit After the Book’s Finished
A Sneek Preview from Nathalia Buttface
Also by Nigel Smith
About the Author
About the Publisher
The Most Embarrassing Dad in the World paused. He hadn’t expected this reaction. In fact, he had come home from the pub with his Great French Holiday Idea feeling really pleased with himself.
Dad liked France. He liked the weather and the food and the wine and talking to local people.
“You wear STUPID shorts, your bald spot goes pink and peely, you drink red wine every day and get silly and even more embarrassing than usual and your teeth look like a vampire’s,” Nat went on, not pausing for breath, “and THE VERY WORST thing is, you talk in a funny accent.”
“It’s called speaking French.”
“It is not, Dad, it’s called ‘speaking English in a silly voice’. You don’t even bother to change the words. You are literally supposed to change the words to actual French ones. I know that and I’m eleven. BUT I didn’t know it at my primary school, did I? In my first French lesson.”
Dad put the kettle on. He knew what was coming; he’d heard this story about Nat’s first French lesson a lot. He looked around the kitchen for support from Mum but she was in the living room. She was pretending to do emails, but she was really playing a game on her phone and having a quiet giggle at Dad being in trouble again.
“Cos of you, when Madame Hérisson asked us who could speak any French, I put my hand up.”
“Biscuit?” said Dad, still trying to avoid the story. “There might be one left as your nan’s not been here for a couple of days.”
But Nat wasn’t going to let him escape. She was an angry blur of stick arms and legs and flying blonde hair. Dad was already regretting getting her out of bed to tell her about the Great French Holiday Idea.
Nat