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      BEHIND

       PALACE DOORS

      MY SERVICE AS THE QUEEN

       MOTHER’S EQUERRY

      MAJOR COLIN BURGESS

       WITH PAUL CARTER

      To the personal protection officers, who risk everything and work very hard to not be noticed

       ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

      Thanks to everyone who helped with compiling this book.

      Thanks to Simon Dean and Ged Mason.

      CONTENTS

      1 Title Page

      2 Dedication

      3 Acknowledgements

      4 Introduction

      5 1. A Sleeping Lunch

      6 2. Don’t Mention the War!

      7 3. Shooting Squirrels With a Sniper Rifle

      8 4. When Is Nelson Mandela Going To Stand Up?

      9 5. ‘Will One of You Old Queens Bring This Old Queen a Gin and Tonic?’

      10 6. ‘Have I Died Again?’

      11 7. ‘Oh, Bloody Hell!’

      12 8. The Reluctant Royal and a Man In a Hurry

      13 9. Princess Margaret Is On Fire

      14 10. Setting the Hounds On the Boys From Eton

      15 11. ‘Go On, Go On, Hit Him, Go On, Punch Him!’

      16 12. ‘Get Your Black Tie On Because One of the Guests Has Died’

      17 13. ‘Did You Get Lucky This Weekend, Colin?’

      18 14. It’s Groundhog Day

      19 Epilogue

      20 Sources

      21 Copyright

       INTRODUCTION

      ‘She was quite simply the most magical grandmother you could possibly have and I was utterly devoted to her.

      ‘Her departure has left an irreplaceable chasm in countless lives but, thank God, we are all the richer for the sheer joy of her presence and everything she stood for.

      ‘Above all, she understood the British character and her heart belonged to this ancient land and its equally indomitable and humorous inhabitants, whom she served with panache, style and unswerving dignity for very nearly eighty years.’

      HRH The Prince of Wales

      ‘During her long and extraordinary life, her grace, her sense of duty and her remarkable zest for life made her loved and admired by people of all ages and backgrounds, revered within our borders and beyond.

      ‘She was a unifying figure for Britain, inspiring love and affection in all she met.

      ‘The respect she received and the outpouring of affection after her death are not the result of her long life. The tributes could have been a ritual, but they were not. They were genuine and heartfelt and from young and old from all walks of life.

      ‘It is the belief in duty that captures her spirit best. Yet it is not duty in an arid or formal sense; she enjoyed life, lived it and loved it to the full.

      ‘She loved her country and in turn it loved her.’

      The Rt. Hon. Tony Blair,

       Prime Minister

      ‘The Queen Mother was a wonderful queen and an extraordinary person. Her death is more than a source of grief to the royal family. It is an irreplaceable loss to the whole nation.’

      The Rt. Hon. Lady Thatcher,

       Former Prime Minister

      ‘We each had an individual and unique relationship with our grandmother – she was very, very special indeed.’

      HRH The Duke of York

      ‘The Queen Mother was a pillar of strength and inspiration to many people all over the world.’

      Mr George W. Bush, President of the

       United States of America

      ‘She was an exceptional person who devoted her life to her family, her nation and the Commonwealth.’

      Mr Don MacKinnon, Commonwealth

       Secretary-General

      ‘Our country is the richer for her life and the poorer at her death.’

      The Rt. Hon. Sir John Major,

       Former Prime Minister

      ‘She treated people in a friendly way, with sympathy and interest. Many also in Germany admired her.’

      Mr Johannes Rau, Former President of Germany

      ‘The Queen Mother was a woman of deep faith and deep interest in people. Whenever a person met her, it was almost as if you were the only person who counted at that moment. ‘It was remarkable that a woman of such faith and astonishing vitality, in spite of her age, took such an interest in people.

      ‘I think that throughout her life she had a great sense of duty and obligation to her country.’

      Dr George Carey, Former Archbishop

       of Canterbury

      These are just a few of the many tributes that poured in for Her Majesty the Queen Mother, known affectionately as the Queen Mum, after her death in March 2002. Many tried to paint a picture of a woman who was unswerving in her duty as the most senior of the Royal Family and who was kind, generous, thoughtful and hard-working but above all a very private person. For here lies the great mystery in the Queen Mother’s life – it was virtually impossible to puncture her outer shell and really get to know what she was like deep down. Many tried – close friends such as Noel Coward, Fred Astaire, her friends in the Special Forces and her ladies-in-waiting – but nearly all failed.

      Type her name into Google and you’ll get hundreds of thousands of hits. But nearly all say very little about her, save for a smattering of quotes she has come out with over the many years and the odd anecdote, many of which have proven to be apocryphal, because so little is actually known about her life.

      So what was she really like? What made her tick? What were her interests and hobbies, if any? Whom did she like and dislike? What were her views on the French, the Germans, Britain and the Commonwealth? What did she do to relax and what was she like in the moments when she was caught off guard?

      These are all questions that have never really been answered, even a few years after her death, because nobody has ever come forward to tell the real story of what the Queen Mother was actually like. People like her page William Tallon or her Private Secretary Sir Alastair Aird all have secrets and stories to tell, but as the days and months go by it’s becoming increasingly apparent that they will take these stories with them to the grave. The reluctance of so many of her former members of staff to reveal all

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