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      But If Not: 588 Days Living with Cancer

      Copyright © 2016 Brenda Pue with Carson Pue and Quadrant Leadership

      All rights reserved

      Printed in Canada

      International Standard Book Number: 978-1-927355-79-4 soft cover

      Ebook Version: 978-1-927355-80-0

      Published by:

      Castle Quay Books

      Tel: (416) 573-3249

      E-mail: [email protected]

      www.castlequaybooks.com

      Cover design and book interior by Burst Impressions

      Printed by Essence Printers

      References to Jane’s blog, Pix n Prose, made with permission.

      This book or parts thereof may not be reproduced in any form without prior written permission of the publishers.

      Scripture quotations marked NIV are taken from the Holy Bible, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide. • Scripture quotations marked NASB are taken from the New American Standard Bible®. Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. • Scripture quotations marked NKJV are taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved. • Scripture quotations marked ESV are taken from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. • Scripture quotations marked NLT are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved. • Scripture quotations marked CEV are taken from the Contemporary English Version © 1991, 1992, 1995 by American Bible Society, Used by permission. • Scripture quotations marked TLB are taken from The Living Bible, copyright © 1971 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved. • Scripture quotations marked NET are taken from NET Bible®, copyright ©1996-2006 by Biblical Studies Press, L.L.C. http://netbible.com All rights reserved. • Scripture quotations marked NRSV are taken from New Revised Standard Version Bible, copyright © 1989 the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved. • Scripture quotations marked AMPC are taken from Amplified Bible, Classic Edition (AMPC). Copyright © 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation.

      Library and Archives Canada Cataloguing in Publication

      Pue, Brenda, author

       But if not : 588 days living with cancer / Brenda Pue

      ; edited by Carson Pue.

      ISBN 978-1-927355-79-4 (paperback)

       1. Pue, Brenda. 2. Pue, Brenda--Health. 3. Pue, Brenda--

      Death and burial. 4. Cancer--Patients--Canada--Biography.

      I. Pue, Carson, 1955-, editor II. Title.

      RC265.6.P84A3 2016 362.19699’40092 C2016-906802-1

      table of contents

       Foreword

       Preface

       Day 1 to 11

       Day 12 to 50

       Day 51 to 100

       Day 101 to 150

       Day 151 to 200

       Day 201 to 250

       Day 251 to 300

       Day 301 to 350

       Day 351 to 400

       Day 401 to 450

       Day 451 to 500

       Day 501 to 550

       Day 551 to 588

       Epilogue

       Afterword

      Foreword

      Let us encourage you to read this book from our friend Brenda Pue. As you will have already appreciated, this book is, at one level, an account of one woman’s battle with cancer. Yet at a much deeper, truer level, it is not about death or dying; it is about life and living. In this book “life in all its fullness”—the sort that Jesus promises in John 10:10—leaps and bounds off every page. We were privileged to know Brenda, and the word “vibrant” (“pulsing or throbbing with energy or activity” says one dictionary) could have been invented for her. This collection of blogs and reminiscences of her last year and a half conveys exactly that aspect of her character.

      We want to encourage you to read it because we live in a time when a book like this is astonishingly relevant and helpful. The first (and possibly most harmful) lie we hear as children is “and they lived happily ever after.” Our modern culture likes to pretend that living “happily ever after” is not just possible but also a right. The fact of our mortality is denied to the point that when, inevitably, we come face to face with death, we can find ourselves confused and dismayed. Of course, for the follower of Christ there is the certain hope of eternal life, but the fact is that our lives—like any book or film—must at some point have an ending. This failure to come to terms with death and dying means that we can find ourselves astonishingly ill-equipped to consider the prospect of the end of our days.

      This book is a healthy antidote to the failure of our culture to acknowledge our finite lifespan. And indeed “healthy” is the word. All the things you might expect to read in an account of 18 months’ worth of ups and downs with cancer are missing. So there is no mawkish sentimentality, no bitterness, no recriminations and no desperate bargaining with God for extra time. Yes, there are prayers for healing, but there is the acceptance that this is in the Lord’s hands, and when healing doesn’t come there is no raging against God, only a contented acceptance of his will. And equally, there is neither a naive trivialization of death nor any glib triumphalism. What one is most struck by in this account is how, in the face of the unpleasant realities, Brenda displays a sense of peace and joy and

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