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Boy Erased: A Memoir of Identity, Faith and Family. Garrard Conley
Читать онлайн.Название Boy Erased: A Memoir of Identity, Faith and Family
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isbn 9780008276997
Автор произведения Garrard Conley
Жанр Биографии и Мемуары
Издательство HarperCollins
William Collins
An imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers
1 London Bridge Street
London SE1 9GF
This eBook first published in Great Britain by William Collins in 2018
Copyright © 2016 by Garrard Conley
Cover design by Rachel Willey
Garrard Conley asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work
A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library
All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins
Source ISBN: 9780008276980
Ebook Edition © March 2018 ISBN: 9780008276997
Version: 2018-07-03
For my parents
Yet she could see by their shocked and altered faces that even their virtues were being burned away.
—FLANNERY O’CONNOR, “REVELATION”
If I’m looking at that wall and suddenly I say, “It’s blue,” and someone else comes along and says, “No, no. It’s gold.” But I want to believe that that wall is blue. It’s blue, it’s blue, it’s blue. But then God comes along, and He says, “You’re right, John, it is blue.” That’s the help I need. God can help me make that wall blue.
—EX-GAY LEADER JOHN SMID, IN AN INTERVIEW WITH THE Memphis Flyer
Contents
Copyright
Dedication
Epigraph
Author’s Note
Timeline of the Ex-gay Movement
I
Monday, June 7, 2004
The Plain Dealers
Wednesday, June 9, 2004
Other Boys
Friday, June 11, 2004
Prisoner’s Cinema
II
The Smallest Details
Saturday, June 12, 2004
Diagnosis
Monday, June 14, 2004
Self-Portrait
Wednesday, June 16, 2004
Epilogue
Acknowledgments
About the Author
During my time at Love in Action (LIA), no journaling, photographing, or any other method of recording was allowed inside the facility. To that effect, all events, physical descriptions, and dialogue have been reconstructed to the best of my ability. My mother’s and my memories, LIA’s ex-gay handbook, newspaper articles, blog posts, and personal interviews have supplemented the empty spaces where trauma has made dark what was once painfully clear. As in most memoirs, the chronology is accurate, altered only in places where the narrative requires it. I have excluded details that seemed irrelevant to the nature of the story. The names and certain identifying characteristics of some key figures in my life, including Chloe, Brandon, David, Brad, Brother Stevens, and Brother Neilson have been changed.
I wish none of this had ever happened. Sometimes I thank God that it did.
Timeline of the Ex-gay Movement
| 1973 | The American Psychological Association declassifies homosexuality as a mental illness. |
| Love in Action (LIA), a nondenominational fundamentalist Christian organization, rejects APA’s decision and opens its doors in San Rafael, California, promising to cure LGBT congregants of their “sexual addictions.” | |
| 1976 | The first ex-gay conference takes place in Anaheim, California, where more than sixty-two attendees form what becomes Exodus International, the largest ex-gay umbrella organization in the world. LIA is its flagship program. |
| 1977 | Jack McIntyre, a four-year member of LIA, commits suicide, prompting one of the group’s founding members, John Evans, to condemn the program. In a suicide note, McIntyre writes: “To continually go before God and ask for forgiveness and make promises you know you can’t keep is more than I can take.” |
| 1982 | Exodus Europe, an independent organization working in coalition with Exodus International, holds its first ex-gay conference in the Netherlands. Ministries now exist in Australia, Brazil, and Portugal. |
| 1989 | Exodus expands its mission to include the Philippines and Singapore. The organization, which at its peak supported more than two hundred ministries across the United States, has reached mainstream attention, with spots on national television and radio. |
| 1990 | John Smid takes over as director of LIA. |
| 1993 | John Evans, a cofounder of LIA, writes an article for the Wall Street Journal denouncing ex-gay therapy: “They’re destroying people’s lives. If you don’t do their thing, you’re not of God, you’ll go to hell. They’re living in a fantasy world.” |
| 1994 | Under John Smid’s direction, LIA moves its headquarters to Memphis, Tennessee, purchasing five acres of land to house its residential program. |
| 1998 |