LITMIR.BIZ

      CHAPTER ONE

      IT WAS beautiful land down there. So lush and green. Trees as far as the eye could see. It had a certain peaceful quality to it he liked. Peaceful…hopeful…something he needed in his life.

      Dr Adrian McCallan stared down over the treetops in the jungle below, excited by the prospect of what lay ahead of him, yet dreading the two weeks it would take to accomplish his promise. He wanted to be here. Had wanted it for a very long time now. Yet he didn’t, and that little bit of dread in him was using up all the peacefulness he had in reserve. Until now, he’d truly never known what it felt like to be ripped in half.

      Now he did.

      Physically he was here, ready to do the work. Intellectually he was intact and up to the chore. But emotionally he was far away. He shut his eyes, conjuring up an image of what he was leaving behind and, as always, the face that he envisioned brought a sure smile to his face. It always did.

      In a sense, it was amazing that he was going through all these conflicting feelings. That he could go through all these feelings. It hadn’t been that long ago that feeling anything had been foreign to him. It wasn’t that he hadn’t been able to, but more that he hadn’t wanted to. It had made life easier that way, without encumbrances. But now he had a personal testimony to what they said—absence did make the heart grow fonder. Absolutely! Or, in his case, tore it into shreds. For him, the pain of absence was almost a physical one, and he was glad to feel it. Glad for the reason to feel it.

      Yet what he was about to do—working with all those children—he’d wanted to do this, wanted to get involved in something so worthy for a long time now. That part of the absence he didn’t regret in the least. But the other part…

      Sighing, he opened his eyes and stared out the window again, listening to the low drone of the airplane engines. The rumble of the monotone these last two hours should have dulled his senses, but all it had done had been to give him empty time in which to doubt his choice to come here. He’d known it was going to be tough being away from Sean, but he hadn’t counted on it being this tough, and so early on. For God’s sake, he was only into it a day and already it felt like a week…a month…a year. Which was ridiculous. But damn it! He already missed his son. Separated from the person he loved most in this world by only twenty-four hours and already he missed him like hell.

      What in the world was he going to be like being away from him for a full two weeks?

      That he didn’t even want to think about. One day at a time. That’s what he was promising himself. He’d get through it one day at a time and each day spent would mean one day closer to Sean.

      Still, with all the internal reassurances that he could do this, and with his son’s own stamp of approval that his daddy was going away to do a very good thing, he couldn’t fight his mixed emotions. Operation Smiling Faces was such a worthy cause. Dr Caprice Bonaventura and her group provided valuable medical services to children who might not otherwise receive the help they needed. He’d read about her in a journal a while ago, then listened to her speak at a medical seminar well over a year ago. After that he’d finally made the decision to add his name to her volunteer roster, but only as an anesthesiologist on an emergency basis, as he did have Sean to consider. Two weeks at a time was what Dr Bonaventura asked of her volunteers, and that’s what he’d agree to do—once, maybe twice a year. It wasn’t much in terms of what other volunteers gave but, at this point in his life, it was all he had. In Sean’s life, two weeks was for ever, although he did understand why his father was leaving for a little while. To help other children. Sean had been good with that, and very mature for a six-year-old.

      More mature than he himself actually, as right now he wasn’t sure he had two weeks in him to give. Not with the way he was missing his son.

      “Can I get you anything?” the flight attendant asked him. “Water? Maybe a cola or a packet of peanuts? Something to settle your stomach?”

      “It shows?” Adrian asked.

      She laughed. “I recognize that expression on your face. See it all the time. A little airsickness.”

      Not airsickness. This wasn’t anything that could be cured with a little bromo or Dramamine. “No, thank you,” he said, recognizing the edge in his voice. “I’m fine for now,” he continued, forcing himself to sound a little less wound up. “But you’ll be the first one to know if I do need something.” He forced a smile at her. Not a convincing one, but apparently she didn’t notice that, because the smile she returned was genuine.

      “You just do that,” the attendant said, then bounced away to tend to a little old lady who was in a fit to have one of those tiny, overpriced bottles of booze. Scotch, she was demanding over the buzzing voices of the other passengers.

      Scotch…if he were a drinking man he might just have one himself. Except he didn’t drink. And if he did, drowning his feelings in alcohol wouldn’t blot them out. More like just make them sloppy, thinking how this was the first time in six years he’d been separated from Sean for more than a couple of days, thinking how he was feeling damned guilty over it. Not that his son really cared so much. Two weeks with his grandmother was an adventure any six-year-old loved. And Sean would exploit that in every way someone his age could with an over-indulgent granny. Trips to the park, the zoo, to the toy store, to buy ice cream… Knowing that his own mother would take care of Sean did make him feel better. But not enough.

      Adrian smiled, thinking about Sean’s big plans. Big boy at age six. Bright. The single most abiding love of Adrian’s life and the person who made him the happiest.

      The one person who defined his life.

      Adrian sighed again, closing his eyes to think about his redheaded, green-eyed ball of energy. Two weeks was an awfully long time to be separated from him, and while he still didn’t regret his decision to volunteer with Operation Smiling Faces, he did wish there was a way to have the best of both worlds—his son and this volunteer job. Caprice Bonaventura did allow children along. But the court had been specific in the child custody decree, thanks to his ex-wife Sylvie’s selfish motives. She didn’t care about Sean. All she cared about was herself, and the child support payments. Somewhere in her tiny little brain she’d fixed a notion that if Adrian took Sean traveling it could mean he wouldn’t bring him back, which might also mean no more money for Sylvie. Of course, that wasn’t the case. Miami was home and stability for Sean, and apparently Adrian was

Скачать книгу