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group I used to attend near skid row. So the state’s tax-supported alcoholism clinic offered them some fancy chairs. (They declined gracefully, and proudly salvaged some secondhand ones for themselves.)

      In another group, the meeting place badly needed a coat of paint, and a rich woman member, who had never stayed sober, insisted on footing the whole bill. (Instead of giving in, they waited until the treasury could buy the paint, and all pitched in to do the work. She helped—and started staying sober.)

      A church told a big group that met there that AA’s money was not needed, so the group collections just piled up for several years. (Free use of the space was, of course, really the acceptance of an outside contribution. Subsidized by the church, the group was not autonomous; the church treated it as if it were just another church activity, canceling its meetings during Christmas and other holi­days, moving it from attic to basement, and so on. When the group treasury reached $700, quarreling broke out, and the group died.)

      In one small town, local AA life centers around a club, known locally as “the AA club.” Its officers wanted to pay off the club mortgage with raffles and benefit dances—selling tickets to the public. (As any Traditions lawyer can explain, technically a club is not a group and is therefore free to do such things. But is that the spirit of AA? What impression would this give the townsfolk—and prospective members?)

      Another group I used to visit meets in a charitable institution which does not allow a collection at any meeting on its premises. One year, the institution wanted to send, from its own funds, a donation to GSO, to be credited to the AA group concerned. (That year, I was general service committee member for the district in which that group meets, so the group’s GSR (general service representative) and I had many discussions about this!)

      In the last case, I do not know what the final decision was. But I learned that there is far more to this Tradition than I had seen at first reading.

      The lessons kept coming. One small group in the district I served had a GSR who made sure everyone in the group understood the nature of the message-carrying done at GSO, and the fact that there was (as there still is) no one but us to foot the bills. That group sent in a whopping donation to GSO each year, plus paying all its other obligations, while much bigger groups sent in only one-fifth as much. That bugged me. Somebody wasn’t paying his fair share, pulling his own weight. On my podium of self-importance, as the righteous committee member, I prepared to speechify about it.

      Fortunately, I looked at my own record first.

      Thanks to AA, I was earning enough of a steady salary to throw a buck into the hat twice a week. That was my share, wasn’t it? But wait a minute. Some newcomers were not able to afford giving anything yet. When I was new, obviously someone had, without my knowing it, put in enough to make up my share, as well as his own. And before that, how much had I spent annually on booze?

      For the first time, I took a serious look at my group treasurer’s report and at the GSO financial statements printed in the annual Conference Report, to see where I myself fitted in. I looked at my group’s total contribution to our intergroup office and to GSO. I discovered there was a limit, then $100, now $200, [in 1984, 500] set on the amount any one individual could give to such offices in one year. Apparently, some people had been privately making direct gifts for years to help keep those places going.

      To say I began doing the same is not immodest, because it had taken me so long to get around to it. And guess what! That year, for the very first time in my life, I found a faint glimmering of what self-respect means.

      Of course, from the realization of my financial responsibility for seeing that the AA message got carried, it was only a short step to a sharp look at my other behavior with money. Technically, since sobering up in AA I had been almost completely self-supporting, declining outside contributions. But I often acted as if I somehow deserved special financial consideration.

      For example, when I first got sober, I had rather promptly paid off most debts, and it felt wonderful being able to hold up my head, debt-free for a change. Except…loans a brother and a cousin had made to me remained unpaid a long time. I let them wait until last (and paid no interest), vaguely feeling that they didn’t need the money as much as I did. They never asked me for it, so I was buying new suits and other things I enjoyed (telling myself that I owed these to myself), long before I got around to paying these two legitimate debts. Hardly mature, responsible behavior!

      My analyst and I tussled with this problem for many dreary months, ending in a draw. I am still at it, with only occasional, thin patches of success. I still find it too easy to rationalize postponing payments of my American Express bill this month if there is something else I’d rather do with the money.

      That’s what I meant when I said that AA principles are hard for me to practice in all my affairs. But our Seventh Tradition has shed light and pointed a direction for me to follow, when I will and can.

      Our Traditions have always made it possible for me to stay sober. But they also teach me lessons for the other parts of my life. In this instance, an AA path of service (being a committee member) led me right into the inside core of me, where broad roads of self-improvement had never been traveled. When I then began to try to behave responsibly in financial matters, to act as if I really were self-supporting, my new feeling about myself was quite different from any I had ever known before.

      At last I was starting to grow up, I felt. I was forty years old at the time.

      B.L., New York, N.Y.

Beginnings in Beirut

      April 1984

      Toward the end of May 1983, a letter requesting literature arrived at the AA General Service Office from J.O., a U.S. marine stationed with the International Peacekeeping Force in Beirut, Lebanon. At just about the same time, two non-alcoholics—a woman student at the American University in Beirut and a priest—were working along with an American AA member in Beirut trying to start a group there.

      Shortly after J.O.’s first letter arrived, the student wrote asking for literature. At her suggestion, the clergyman visited GSO during a trip to the U.S. and took a supply of literature back with him. GSO staff members put these two in touch with J.O.

      Through their joint efforts, public information announcements appeared on radio and TV and in Beirut newspapers. The first newspaper article concluded: “As Lebanon is striving to gain sovereignty and recover from war, we know there are countless individuals who have had wars within themselves. Countries all over the world have Alcoholics Anonymous, and now so does Lebanon.’’

      The letters that follow, with one exception, constitute J.O.’s correspondence with various GSO staff members.

      18 May, 1983

      To Whom It May Concern:

      I am writing this letter concerning your resources on AA. I would like to order some resources from you so I may use them for our group in Beirut, Lebanon. (I am a U.S. marine serving with the International Peacekeeping Force.)

      Would you please send me order forms for all the AA resources you have on hand, or a catalog? I am deeply interested in speakers’ tapes, since we may not have many speakers at our meetings.

      I’ll be looking forward to hearing from you very soon. Thank you.

      Sincerely yours,

      J.O.

      21 June, 1983

      Dear P.,

      I want to thank you and your friends for the letter and other information you sent to me. The pamphlets were useful in providing me and my friends with important information about AA.

      At the present time, our group consists of two devoted AAs and one possible. We hope to grow in numbers day by day. It has been difficult getting started here at Beirut International Airport, but we’re being patient.

      We haven’t set a schedule for our meetings yet. At present, we just get together when we can make the time. When we get started,

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