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      If we lampoon you, we praise you.

      How does one lampoon a man of his standing?

      God help us! God help you!

      24.8

      Also in this vein:

      I did not think ugliness could be beautiful,

      or that beauty could be ugly,

      Until I lampooned Yaḥyā in verses full of filthy words,

      and my lampoon turned to praise.

      24.9

      Al-Ḥuṭayʾah said:

      Who are you? We have forgotten who you are.

      What kind of wind are you?

      Are you the kind of wind that comes with plants and locusts—

      they fly away, but you do not appear to be flying away?

      Give the land a rest and take your leave

      after a scandalous act, just as fornicating slave-girls do.³⁹

      24.10

      Another poet said:

      A slave of the Banū Mismaʿ insulted me,

      but I held back and protected my honor.

      I did not deign an answer.

      Who bites a dog when it bites?

      24.11

      Yazīd al-Muhallabī said:

      I am told that a dog who fears my aim

      barks at me from a safe distance.

      If you had any worth, or if you could even be seen or heard,

      we would lampoon you.

      So stop insulting me, for my equanimity comes

      because I lack an equal.

      24.12

      Another poet said:

      I will not lampoon you, you are no match for me.

      Lampoon me however you can!⁴⁰

      How can I lampoon you if Satire cries in fear

      of smelling the stench of your provenance?

      24.13

      Muḥammad ibn ʿAbbād the Scribe composed the following verses about Abū Saʿd al-Makhzūmī:

      You were certain that no matter how long you vilified others,

      you would be protected from vilification by your vileness.

      The only answer to a dog bark

      is a simple, “Away with you, dog!”

      Relax, stay where you are,

      do not wander east and west!

      Reveal the secret of your father!

      You don’t get a father on a raid.

      24.14

      The words of people like this do not harm Abū Tammām. Stones thrown into the sea do not harm it. The full moon does not wane because a dog barks at it. A poet said:

      Stones thrown by a child

      do not harm the raging sea.

      24.15

      Abū Dhakwān recited to me these verses from al-Mukhabbal on the authority of al-Tawwajī:

      When they mention al-Ḥuṭayʾah, they count him

      neither a modern nor an ancient poet.

      Al-Ḥuṭayʾah is but a cur

      whom God struck down for barking at the stars.

      24.16

      The following verses come from a poem of my own:

      When a blow of fate strikes a people,

      and a distinguished nobleman makes up for it,

      his heart brimful of gifts and courage,

      what can the envier say,

      but spread sorrow from afar

      like a dog barking at the stars?

      24.17

      And the same poet said:

      I lampooned you to death, but you would not die—

      dogs do have long lives.

      24.18

      Ibn al-Rūmī composed these verses lampooning Ibn Abī Ṭāhir:

      I saw you barking at me pointlessly,

      as you bark at the shining moon.

      My bow is ready with sharp arrows

      of tried and tested force.

      But what protects you from their bite

      is your paltry rank in my mind.

      So do not fear the sure flight of my arrows,

      but don’t feel safe from a stray one.

      24.19

      Another poet said:

      When I lampooned you, Satire said to me,

      “Are you lampooning him with me or me with him?”

      Insult too asked me in amazement, “Do you insult me

      with one who is beneath me?”

      24.20

      Another poet said:

      Those I love are gone

      and I am left behind among those I do not love.

      For a nobleman is never without

      a dog that reviles him.

      24.21

      And Bashshār lampooned Abū Hishām al-Bāhilī as follows:

      Does al-Bāhilī insult my honor with his?

      I swear, I am the one insulted by that!

      Is it not a harbinger of Judgment Day

      to see a vile wretch jeer at a nobleman?

      24.22

      Manṣūr ibn Bādhān⁴¹ al-Iṣbahānī said:

      I wanted to lampoon you but

      when I learned who you were, I was disgusted.

      How can I lampoon you?

      I spit every time I hear your name.

      That’s what saved you. If I wanted to lampoon you,

      I would produce a wondrous lampoon.

      I have scorched with my brand the hide

      of many a man better than you.

      24.23

      Another poet said:

      A dog would indeed be important,

      if I shut him up,⁴² whenever he howled and barked.

      24.24

      Al-Farazdaq said to al-Jarīr:

      It makes no difference to the Taghlib Wāʾil whether you lampoon them

      or piss where the two seas clash.

      24.25

      Ḥassān ibn Thābit said:

      Do not insult me, you are not my equal—

      that would take a nobleman.

      I do not care whether a goat rattles in the highlands

      or

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