Leg over Leg - Ahmad Faris al-Shidyaq Library of Arabic Literature

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her clothes, or her manner of reposing, for she’ll sleep next to me and adopt what suits us both by way of clothing. What then should stop me from taking a mate, one possessed of each such happy trait, even should people, hearing that my spouse is full of affection, that with me her honor enjoys full protection and her face no visitor sees, envy me such abundant ease? Every choking sorrow will then seem easy to swallow, and it’s no secret what pleasure lies in giving the envious the finger—a pleasure over which no connoisseur will hesitate to linger. Not to mention the delight found by the psyche in the companionate gender, whose nearness to the heart comfort, and in times of stress an outlet, doth render. One who endures his toil by day only by night to sleep alone and who no bedmate to breathe into his nostrils or warm his blood from in front and behind owns is meet to be counted among the dead and thrown among the bones. In addition, I shall by her saliva to the need for drink be made immune, by the smell of her hair to the need for musk and other perfume, for they say that the smell of a woman from the roots of the hair (be those in the body’s cracks and crevices or on the head) may be inhaled and by it all the senses are derailed. Likewise, the heat of her body will suffice as fuel to keep me warm, the sight of her serve as antimony and balm, meaning that I shall save at least one silver coin a day, half of which for a daily morning visit to the bathhouse I’ll pay, leaving me the other half to live on, which is riches indeed and will suffice for any need.

      3.2.8

      فاما ما يقال فى كيد النسا * واعناتهن الرجال بما يعزّ على الاِسا * فليس ذلك على عمومه * ولا تقرر حكم الا واستثنى امور من تعميمه * فلعلى اول من اخرج١ هذا الاستثنآ * وسنّ للاعزاب على الزواج الثنآ * كيف لا وانا ذو فصاحة وتبيان ودهآ وجنان * فما يعيينى شى من نكرها * ولا تخفى عنى خافية من امرها * فاعارضها واحجّها * واريها ان لى عليها قفيَّة تضطرها الى طاعتى وتحوجها * فان قلت لها اليوم يصوم فيه المباعلون * ويتبتّل المفاعلون * قالت انا اول من صام * وآخر من نام * وان قلت لا يجمل بالمحصنة ان تتبرّج * قالت ولا ان تتغنّج * وان قلت ان حق الزوجة على زوجها فى كل اسبوع مرة * قالت وتبقى ايضا عفيفة حرة * وان قلت ليس الحلىّ بلازم للعرس * قالت ولا الديباج شرّ لُبْس * وفى الجملة فان عيشى معها يكون رغيدا * وحالى سعيدا * وحظى مديدا * وطعامى مريئا * وشرابى هنيئا * وثوبى وضيئا * وفرشى وطيئا * وبيتى مانوسا * ومتاعى محروسا * وطرفى قريرا * وشانى مذكورا * وسعيى ميمونا * وقصدى مامونا * فحىّ هَلَ الزواج * بلعوب مغناج * طلعتها علاج * من الالفاج * وضجعتها انهاج * الى الافلاج * انتهى *

      ١ ١٨٥٥: اخرجه.

      “As to what people say about ‘women’s wiles’ and how they ride their husbands so hard they’re left beyond the reach of consolation, in most cases this isn’t true—and no rule’s without exceptions to its general application. I may be the first to expose this qualification and fashion, in praise of marriage for bachelors, such a commendation, and how could this not be so, when I’m a master of chaste language and eloquence, a man of craft and intelligence? Thus none of her cunning ways will defy me and none of her attempts at concealment get by me. I shall oppose her and remonstrate, and that my superiority to her compels her to obey and comply I shall demonstrate. One day I’ll tell her, ‘This is a day on which the married desist and active lovers to celibacy keep’ to which she’ll reply, ‘I shall be the first to desist and the last to sleep.’ Should I tell her, ‘It’s not attractive for a respectable married woman to put her charms on display,’ she’ll tell me, ‘Or flirt and play,’ and if I tell her, ‘A wife her husband once a week has a right to expect,’ she’ll tell me, ‘While remaining chaste and worthy of respect.’ If I tell her, ‘Jewelry’s no requirement for a wedding,’ she’ll tell me, ‘and nor is brocade, that most evil cladding.’ Taken as a whole, my life with her will be easy, my state happy, my good fortune extensive, my food wholesome, my drink healthy, my clothes clean, my bed comfy, my possessions well guarded, my house no longer lonesome. Good cheer will be there, my every effort blessed, my status one of note, my endeavors guaranteed success. Hie ye then to marriage with a jolly girl who’s full of coquetry, whose looks provide a cure for bankruptcy, and to bed whom is to ride the road to victory!” End.

      3.2.9

      وانا اقول ان مما غُرس فى هذه الطينة البشرية اللَثِية ان الرجل متى وطّن نفسه على الزواج حبّب الله اليه زوجه على اية حالة كانت حتى يراها احسن الناس خُلقا وخَلقا * لا بل يرى نفسه انه قد ترفع عن اقرانه * وتمزىّ على اخوانه * حتى يستخسّ ما كان من قبل يستعظمه * وانه قد صار انسانا جديدا يجدر بان يجدد له وجه الارض * وبنآ على ذلك لم يعد الفارياق يرضى بالاغانى والاشعار المتعارفة بل استبدل الاولى باخرى جديدة من نظمه * ونظم خلال ذلك قصيدتين حاول فيهما اختراع اسلوب غريب فجاتا طيخيّتين كما سترى ذلك * ولو استطاع ان يخترع كلاما جديدا يعبّر به غرامه وحديث شانه لفعل *

      I further declare that it is a fact, deeply rooted in our sticky human clay, that when a man sets his heart on getting married, God endears his spouse to him however she be and makes him believe she’s the best of people, morally and physically. And that’s not all: the man may well believe that he’s been elevated above his peers and distinguished among his brethren to the point that he dismisses as trivial what previously he saw as important and imagines that he has become a new person, for whom the face of the earth ought, by rights, to be remade. It follows that the Fāriyāq no longer found contentment in the old familiar songs and poetry; instead, he substituted for them other, new ones of his own composition. In the process, he composed two poems17 in which he attempted to invent a strange new style, with the result that they turned out quite titter-making, as you shall see—and had he had the ability to invent a new form of speech to express his passion and rejuvenation, he would have done so.

      3.2.10

      وكان اذا راى رجلا متزوجا يهيب به وينشده

انا فى حلبة الزواج المجلّى

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