LITMIR.BIZ

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puppy abductions in New York City.

      I stuffed the clippings back into the envelope and left it on the side, then took Rupert, along with the list of poisonous plants into our garden. I’d decided to stay home with him that day to settle him in and show him around.

      I pushed open the old French doors and stepped out onto the patio, trying to recall the last time I had actually ventured into the mass of weeds and tangled shrubbery that was our ten-metres-square London garden. It must have been over a year ago when we’d just moved in. I placed Rupert down by my feet and watched him explore. To little Rupert, faced with dense foliage over twice his height, it must have seemed like a jungle. He stepped tentatively forward, then a crow squawked and he ran back between my legs. Moments later, he tried again, this time venturing a little further.

      Just as I’d spotted a potentially toxic-looking weed, my phone rang again. It was Mandi.

      ‘Ellie, where are you?’

      Rupert bounded back between my legs. I shifted him away from the plant. ‘At home,’ I said.

      Mandi paused for a moment as though she didn’t quite know what to do with that information. ‘Doing what?’

      I bent down and tugged at the roots. ‘Weeding.’

      Mandi paused again. I imagined her twitching her nose. ‘You need to come in.’

      I threw the weed onto the patio. Rupert sniffed it then ran back between my legs. ‘Can’t it wait?’ I said.

      ‘No,’ she replied, more sternly than Mandi usually spoke. ‘It’s important.’

      When I arrived at the office, having transported an increasingly perplexed Rupert in his Louis Vuitton dog carry case, Mandi jumped out at me. She was wearing what looked like an Aztec-patterned tepee with a coordinated neck scarf.

      ‘Ellie, you’re late,’ she said. ‘Into the meeting room quickly.’ Then she stopped, turned and peered into the carry case. She held her hands to her chest and made a high-pitched squealing noise.

      ‘Aw,’ she said, ‘a puppy! I absolutely love puppies. Did I tell you how much I love puppies? And kittens, of course. I love kittens. But not as much as puppies. Puppies I simply adore. He is just too cute. Can I cuddle him? Please can I?’ She peered in closer. ‘What’s your name, little fellow?’

      Rupert growled. I went to turn the carry case away, assuming Mandi’s attire must have alarmed him, when I noticed Dominic standing behind her. Rupert growled again and then bared his tiny teeth.

      Dominic sneered at the carry case. ‘No animals in the office,’ he said. ‘Clause 13.5b on our lease. He’ll need to be removed immediately.’

      Mandi waved Dominic away. ‘Oh, get a life,’ she said. ‘It’s not as though he’s running wild, chewing the table legs and weeing up your trousers. Besides, it’s essential Ellie is present at this meeting.’

      Dominic’s jaw tensed before he followed Mandi, Rupert and I into the meeting room.

      Once we were all seated, Mandi flipped open her laptop. I smiled at her, quietly hoping she was about to unveil an e-petition for which she had solicited a hundred thousand client signatures objecting to my relocation.

      She stood up and cleared her throat. ‘Eighty per cent of our matchmaking workforce is women,’ she began.

      Dominic sighed and checked his watch.

      ‘Forty-three per cent of those are mothers,’ she continued.

      Dominic rolled his eyes.

      ‘Our maternity package is grim.’ She looked down and started rubbing her tummy. ‘We offer little more than statutory pay, no child-care benefits and no additional support to mothers at all.’

      Dominic sat back in his chair and stretched his arms above his head. He let out an extended sigh. ‘Have you got something to tell us, Mandi?’

      She ignored him. ‘If our business is about bringing couples together, then surely our business should also be about preventing couples from separating.’

      I leaned forward.

      Mandi continued. ‘If we don’t support the family unit, then how can we say we are supporting the couple?’

      Dominic sighed again. ‘So let’s cut to the chase, what do you propose?’

      Mandi smoothed down her blonde flicks and pressed some keys on her laptop. ‘I’ll email you my full proposal, but, in short, I would like us to provide on-site childcare, flexi-working hours, extended holidays, extra sick pay when children are poorly, priority parking for pregnant women and breast-feeding stations in the office.’

      He laughed again. ‘How about prenatal yoga while we’re at it? Or nappy bins in the meeting rooms. A jungle gym in the lobby?’

      Mandi scowled at him.

      ‘What about paternity rights too?’ I interrupted. ‘One of my closest friends is a house husband.’

      Dominic rolled his eyes. ‘Men shouldn’t be looking after babies.’

      Mandi and I both stared at him.

      Dominic shrugged his shoulders. ‘We’re not built for it,’ he said. ‘We don’t have the hormones or the attributes.’ He nodded to my chest and raised his eyebrows. ‘We were meant for world domination, not bottle feeding and nose wiping,’ he said.

      I glanced at Mandi, whose mouth was wide open, then back at Dominic.

      Dominic smirked. ‘Although the breast-feeding station sounds intriguing.’

      I shook my head and stood up to leave.

      Dominic followed me. ‘Oh, by the way, Ellie,’ he said, ‘the investors rejected your request.’

      I turned to face him. ‘What request?’

      ‘The request to conduct your research from the UK.’

      I stepped back. ‘I wasn’t aware I had formally requested that yet. I didn’t even know a meeting had been scheduled.’

      He leaned forward and squeezed my shoulder. ‘I sent you an email. The meeting was this morning,’ he said. ‘You missed it, while you were tending to—’ he glanced down at Rupert, who was now sleeping in his carry case ‘—your dependant.’

      That night Nick and I sat in bed together with Rupert nestled between us. Nick had insisted Rupert not be left alone with the weird heartbeat toy on his first night with us.

      ‘Dogs are pack animals,’ he’d said, seemingly trying to justify his sentimental side. ‘They feel insecure unless the alpha dog is there to protect them.’

      A lengthy debate as to whether Rupert would view me or Nick as his pack leader followed, before our conversation moved on to the topic of New York. It wasn’t long until my arms were folded. ‘How many times do I have to say this? I’m not leaving my clients,’ I said.

      Nick raised his eyebrows. ‘You don’t have any clients any more. When was the last time you actually did any matchmaking?’

      ‘The business needs me.’

      ‘You can work from New York.’

      ‘Well, I’m not leaving Rupert.’

      ‘Oh, come on, Ellie. You’re not going to let the perceived needs of a nine-week-old canine come between us and our future happiness.’

      I stared at Nick. ‘Sorry, whose future happiness?’

      He stared back at me.

      ‘Besides,’ I continued, ‘he’s our responsibility now. There’s no way I would consider rehoming him. He’s been through enough turmoil in his little life already.’

      Nick smirked. ‘I wasn’t suggesting that for a second. We would take him with us.’

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