LITMIR.BIZ

       Habitat:

      Beaches or boats.

       Communication:

      Make a lot of noise, but do not click or whistle like dolphins do. If a human fry drops an ice cream it makes a high-pitched squealing sound.

      Then I had another brainwave – I could get a human for a pet! I put my fin up. Miss Carp looked at me. She likes us to ask good questions.

      ‘Yes, Darcy?’

      ‘Would a human make a good pet?’ I asked.

      Everyone laughed. Miss Carp gave me her ‘I Am Not Amused’ look and said that looking after a pet was a ‘Serious Matter’, and not to be ‘Taken Lightly’.

      Hmmph – I am not taking it lightly! To prove this, I went to the school library at lunchtime and got a book called THE PERFECT PET. It’s all about pets and how to look after them. There’s nothing about humans in it though.

      After school, Mum took me to Pollock’s Pet Shop. Mr Pollock was there, feeding the sea horses. He smiled at me. ‘So you’re after a pet, eh? What sort were we thinking?’

      ‘Something easy to look after, please,’ Mum said, before I could speak.

      ‘Easy, eh? Well, we’ve got some nice sea urchins.’

      Mum was quite keen on the sea urchins until one spiked her on the nose.

      ‘No, thank you,’ she said.

      ‘Do you have any humans?’ I asked. For some reason Mr Pollock and Mum roared with laughter.

      ‘How about a sea cucumber?’ Mr Pollock said, fishing one out of a tank.

      ‘Ooh – it could be friends with Cuke!’ I said. As Mr Pollock handed it to Mum, it squirted a cloud of disgusting white goo all over her.