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The Paninis of Pompeii. Andy Stanton
Читать онлайн.Название The Paninis of Pompeii
Год выпуска 0
isbn 9781405294867
Автор произведения Andy Stanton
Жанр Природа и животные
Издательство HarperCollins
First published in Great Britain MMXIX
by Egmont UK Limited
The Yellow Building, 1 Nicholas Road, London W11 4AN
Text copyright © MMXIX Andy Stanton
Illustrations copyright © MMXIX Sholto Walker
The moral rights of the author and illustrator have been asserted
First e-book edition 2019
ISBN 978 1 4052 9385 3
Ebook ISBN 978 1 40529 486 7
A CIP catalogue record for this title is available from the British Library
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For Polly, Luke and Sonny; and for Clemmy, the greediest cat in Londinium – AS
For Louis. Ut tibi auxillo esse ridiculam – SW
CONTENTS
CAECILIUS
Now, back in Roman Times there lived a fat merchant by the name of Caecilius Maximus Panini. Caecilius was so fat that he looked a bit like a large football with a face on top, and this is what the name ‘Caecilius’ means: large football with a face on top. Caecilius had a lovely wife called Vesuvius, which means ‘Woman married to a guy who looks like a large football with a face on top’. And he had a little son called Filius, which means ‘Filius’. Filius was ten years old, or as the Romans said, he was X years old. The Romans were always using letters instead of numbers and do you know why? It was because they were very stupid people indeed.
Now, not only was Caecilius a fat merchant – he was a fart merchant too. You see, like many businessmen of that time, Caecilius was in the fart trade. He would buy farts down the market on a Friderificus morning for two buzzle-swuzzles each (buzzle-swuzzles were the names of the coins in those days), and then on Saturanium – yes, the very next day! – he’d return to the market and sell them back to the same people he’d just bought them off – but this time for five buzzle-swuzzles each.
In this way, Caecilius had grown immensely rich. And he now had over thirty thousand buzzle-swuzzles in the bank. Thirty