LITMIR.BIZ

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give us another shot?”

      Her chest constricted so tightly she couldn’t breathe. “I think I would have,” she said after a long moment’s thought. “If you’d asked before you knew about the baby, I would have.”

       Chapter Nine

      After the doctor’s appointment, David’s mind was too cluttered for him to go back to work. If he tried crunching numbers in this mental state, the store would probably never recover from all the data errors. I could single-handedly destroy generations’ worth of work in an afternoon. Something approximating a smile tugged at the corners of his lips. The despairing thought was the kind of exaggerated, self-deprecating statement he used to fuss at Rachel for making.

      Lord, he missed her. If she didn’t move back into the house, he’d eventually put it up for sale. Without her there, it just felt … wrong. He was grateful beyond words that she wasn’t going anywhere at least until summer, but the possibility of losing her after that, of losing his child, was too painful to entertain.

      Once home, he wandered through the rooms like a ghost, seeing the things they’d picked out together, trying to recall which pieces had been wedding presents. In their room, he opened the dresser drawer where she stored her summer clothes, skimming his hand over the fabrics, thinking about how pretty she’d always looked in the pale green tank top. With ninety percent of her belongings still here, it seemed as if she was just out at the store and would be home any minute, where she belonged.

      At the knock on the door, he started. Was it Rach? Maybe there was something she needed to make her more comfortable over at Winnie’s …. He dashed through the house at twice the speed he’d moved earlier.

      Tanner waved at him through the beveled glass in the front door.

      David sighed. “Hey. Come on in.”

      “I called you at the store, but Arianne said you went home early today.”

      “Had some errands to run,” David said vaguely. “Want something to drink?”

      “Sure. I’ll take a cold beer if you’ve got one.”

      David retrieved two bottles from the refrigerator. “So, did Ari send you over here?”

      Tanner looked surprised by the question. “She told me you were probably here, but I’m not here at her bidding or anything. I swung by on my way home from a client’s to beg a favor.”

      “Beg away.” Maybe David should try the same approach. Should he grovel to Rachel? His pride balked at the idea, but that didn’t matter nearly as much as the prospect of growing old without her. Even now, with the two of them under different roofs, he couldn’t truly imagine life without her.

      “Lilah wants to take a day trip this weekend, go somewhere more exotic than Mistletoe for all her Christmas shopping.” Tanner pulled a face, making it clear marathon shopping wasn’t his idea of a good time. “Misery loves company, right?”

      David sipped his beer. “You want me to come shopping with the two of you?”

      “Well, you and Rachel. We thought the four of us could head toward Atlanta, eat dinner someplace together before coming back. All of our single friends are getting a little sick of the constant wedding chatter. I’ll be the first to admit, we’re nauseating. We thought it would be fun to spend time with another couple who won’t hold it against us. What do you say, got plans for the weekend?”

      David brightened. An entire day in Rachel’s company? “Sounds great.”

      “You heard the part about the all-day shopping, right? No doubt there will be sales and shoes involved.”

      “There are worse things in the world, little brother.” David took a deep breath, then pushed away the negative emotions. Winners used positive thinking, no matter what odds they faced. “I just have to check with Rachel. Call you tomorrow?”

      “Sure. You’re not kicking me out already, are you? I haven’t finished the beer.”

      “No, you can stick around. If you want, I could order us a pizza.”

      “Sorry, dude. I have a preexisting offer from someone a lot prettier. Then again …” Tanner studied him. “If you need me to stay, I can call Lilah and cancel.”

      “No, of course not. I was just making the offer to be polite.”

      Tanner leaned against the counter. “Why did you think Arianne sent me over here? Did you two fight or something?”

      “Or something.”

      “I’m a little surprised you’re not doing the pizza thing with Rachel.” He glanced around as if he, too, could feel her absence despite all appearances being normal. “I know she’s sleeping at Winnie’s because someone has to stay with the dogs, but she gets dinner breaks, right?”

      “Of course. In fact, I’ll call her as soon as you leave. I just thought maybe a night of male bonding before you take your vows …”

      Tanner laughed. “I’m sure we’ll have plenty of time for that even after. There’s a limit to what my getting married is going to change.”

      That’s what you think.

      David could look back and see lots of big and small ways that Rachel had changed over the years and ways that their relationship had altered—would that he’d been paying more attention at the time. Hindsight was painfully clear. What was harder to see, even now, was how he’d changed. Rachel had loved him so much once. Had he not been what she expected somehow? He wasn’t objective enough to evaluate himself as a husband.

      Granted, he probably could have handled Rachel’s losing the baby better, but he’d been mourning, too. As much as she’d wanted that child, he doubted he could have said or done anything to make it better. Knowing that had doubled his own grief. He knew that the specter of what had happened before loomed over her now, and he hated like hell that she was alone in the house with three dogs, worrying, when he was two streets over and unable to help. Three dogs. Rembrandt and Bristol weren’t small. All three of them were excitable—what if one of them forgot his manners and jumped up on Rachel?

      “If you’re about finished,” David said, “I think I am going to kick you out.”

      “Nothing like brotherly love. All right, I’ll get out of your hair. Let me know what Rachel says about holiday shopping this weekend? Just think, Christmas is right around the corner, and then the wedding.” Tanner’s expression was luminous enough to power the entire town.

      David assessed the younger man, the rebel who’d once seemed as though he might never mature past his angry restlessness. “Look at you, all grown up and about to marry a wonderful woman. I’m proud of you.”

      “Thanks.” Tanner’s gaze landed on an old souvenir photo-magnet of Rachel and David on the refrigerator. “You didn’t do so badly for yourself, either.”

      They each finished their beer, then Tanner set his bottle on the counter. “I’m leaving before this deteriorates into something truly scary, like hugging.”

      David shuddered. “That would be bad.”

      After Tanner left, David rifled through the junk drawer in the kitchen, looking for the delivery number for that pizzeria Rachel liked.

      The girl who answered confirmed his name and asked, “Is this 820 Pine?”

      “Yes, but I’d actually like to get this delivered to another address ….”

      “I HAVE A proposition,” he blurted as soon as she opened the door.

      Rachel looked heavenward. “This can’t be good.”

      “You’re such a glass-half-empty person.”

      “It’s called being a realist.” Her voice

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