LITMIR.BIZ

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count on.

      Then there was Ethan. She’d always loved him. From the time they’d been in elementary school and he’d told a bully to stop picking on her, she’d loved him. She’d loved him at sixteen when he’d punched Brandon Parker for saying something rude in the hall at school. She’d loved him more at twenty when he’d sent her a dozen roses and told her she was stuck with him. Forever.

      And she’d loved him when she told him they could no longer get married. She’d convinced herself that was the biggest act of love. For four years she’d been telling herself she was over him. That she’d done the right thing and they’d both moved on.

      April nudged at her hand and she slid her fingers through the animal’s soft fur, pulling her close and leaning to bury her face in the dog’s neck. She had to pull it together and find a way to convince Ethan to leave.

      “Running?”

      She looked up, startled by the question. She hadn’t heard anyone approaching. She smiled at Joe Chapman. He’d been at the ranch almost as long as any of them. He had an easy demeanor, always pleasant. She thought he worked hard at that persona. But inside he was as angry as the rest of them. He’d lost an arm and one side of his face was scarred.

      She no longer noticed Joe’s scars. He was just Joe. And he was waiting for an answer.

      “No, not running. I’m just trying to figure out how to tell my past to stay in the past.”

      “It isn’t always that easy.”

      “You’ve managed,” she said with a smile to soften the words. If he was going to get in her business, she’d get in his.

      “Yeah, well, my parents don’t want much to do with me. I’m not living up to their expectations.”

      “It seems our parents are opposite ends of the spectrum. Mine would love for me to come home so they could smother me with love and attention. I think they would only see the chair and I’d cease to exist.”

      “Yeah, I get that. My parents can’t see beyond their career goals for their children.”

      She felt sorry for baiting him. “Yeah, I know.”

      “That’s why we love Mercy Ranch. Jack gave us a place to be ourselves.”

      “We’re not hiding?” she asked her friend.

      He shrugged. “We probably are.”

      “So you heard about the baby?”

      He laughed at the question. “Who hasn’t heard about her? And heard her. She’s got a powerful set of lungs.”

      “Yes, yes she does.” She raised a finger and the dog sat. When she pointed to the ground, the dog dropped to her belly. “You’re still the best, April.”

      “You trained her. You get some of the credit.”

      She smiled up at Joe. “Thanks. But let’s talk about the elephant in the room. Or the baby. Am I a coward?”

      “I don’t think so.” He’d taken a seat on the nearby bench but he stood, rubbing at his left shoulder. “But I am, so I’m going to head out. Kylie at twelve o’clock.”

      He saluted and headed for the stable. As Kylie approached, clearing her throat to make herself known, Eve pointed to the kennel. With head down and reluctant steps, April entered the kennel to be attacked by her eight super hungry puppies.

      “You need to come back to the house,” Kylie said.

      “Because I’m avoiding and I can’t avoid?”

      “No, because Ethan is sick. Sierra had to go back to the house to get something and found him leaning over the trash can. Tori was on a blanket on the floor crying.”

      Eve looked heavenward. “This is what happens when I ask for help.”

      Kylie grabbed the handles of Eve’s chair and turned her toward the apartment. “At least you’re praying about it.”

      Her struggles with faith weren’t exactly secret. Kylie observed things. It wasn’t a discussion they’d had but Eve wasn’t surprised to know her friend had figured it out.

      “Yes, praying, ranting, same thing I guess.”

      “Sometimes,” Kylie agreed. “And I think God is okay with our honest emotions.”

      Eve certainly hoped so. She didn’t feel a need to respond and Kylie didn’t push her to keep talking.

      “Where are your kids?” Eve asked when they were halfway to the entrance of the building she’d called home for several years. They affectionately called it “the garage.”

      “With Maria and Jack. They made cookies.”

      “Cara made cookies? She can’t even eat cookies.”

      “She’s watching from her infant swing,” Kylie responded. Eve could hear the contentment in her voice, picture the happy smile on her face.

      It was true, what the Bible said, that things did work together for good for those who trusted. And if anyone deserved that, it was Kylie. She’d loved Carson West since junior high and somehow the two had found each other again.

      “You changed the subject,” Kylie said as she pushed the chair onto the sidewalk.

      “Did I?” Eve took control of her chair, pushing the wheels quickly to reach the door of the apartment.

      Kylie stepped between her and the door. “It isn’t always cut-and-dried. You know that. Faith gets tested. We all go through storms.”

      “Some of us get stranded on a deserted island.” The words slipped out, then Eve backed away from the door, from her friend.

      Kylie’s expression didn’t register surprise. Eve didn’t know how. She felt surprised by what she’d said, surprised by the emotions that accompanied the words.

      “That’s pretty powerful,” Kylie finally said. “Maybe that’s the place where people lose faith or even turn from their faith. Especially if you believe God isn’t on that island with you.”

      “Only a volleyball named Wilson and it doesn’t answer. No matter how much you talk to it, shout at it, nothing.” Eve closed her eyes. “I’m pathetic.”

      “Actually, you’re not. I just wouldn’t have thought to compare God to a volleyball.”

      Eve gave in to the smile that tugged at her mouth. “Yeah, well, sometimes God is like that volleyball. You keep talking, keeping telling Him what you need and you wonder why He doesn’t answer. And then you wonder, does He even hear? Is it all some big joke. So here I sit, thinking my life is the worst, and now this. This isn’t really about me, is it? This is about Tori. It’s about the loss of two very dear people. But I can’t be the person Tori needs me to be.”

      “You think you can’t. But I think of all the other things you said you couldn’t do that you’ve done.”

      “I still can’t walk. Remember those first months when I insisted I would walk again? And I prayed, asking God to show those doctors they were wrong.”

      God hadn’t fixed it. He’d given her the strength to survive it, but not the ability to overcome it.

      “Should we start calling those ‘volleyball’ moments of faith?” Kylie asked, completely serious.

      “Yeah, I think so.”

      “Tom Hanks got off the island. He actually pursued Wilson, went after him. And while pursuing, he was rescued.”

      “He went back to a life that was completely different and looked nothing like the life he’d known.”

      “We’re never the same, Eve. The things we go through change us. We’re like a riverbed, always shifting, always changing.”

      “You’re

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