LITMIR.BIZ

       Chapter Four

      Cam sat in a chair on the stone deck behind his house, a cup of coffee in front of him. In his life of continuous travel, there’d been one constant that kept him grounded. Every morning, he read the Bible.

      That sweet, tough little grandma who taught him how to make pad thai had also been the one to give him the Bible. In those days, he’d been an angry kid who’d known a lot of Christians in the small town where he grew up. It hadn’t seemed to do him any good.

      But Ya-ya was different. She gave him a job. A place to stay. She gave him a Bible and she taught him to read it.

      He could never repay her kindness.

      Cam tried to focus on the words, but thoughts of Juliet and her proposition from last night kept creeping in, destroying his peace. He’d tried to tell himself she wasn’t serious, but what if she was?

      What if her proposal was the best possible way to protect his nieces?

      He’d never imagined getting married and settling down. The thought of trusting someone that much seemed too dangerous somehow. He’d take zip-lining in the Andes mountains or BASE jumping in the Alps over that, any day.

      But now that Jules brought it up, he couldn’t stop thinking about it. He wouldn’t have to trust her with his heart to get married to her, of course. But he’d have to trust her with their hearts, which might be even harder.

      He thought of Jules, how she’d looked sitting by his fireplace last night, that warrior heart of hers on her sleeve. She’d go to battle for the girls. And they’d be safe with her.

      Maybe it was his own heart he should be worried about.

      The door to the deck opened behind him and what had been an undercurrent of anxiety spun into a low hum. His muscles tensed but he didn’t move. Jules stopped beside him without sitting, and the silence stretched, her question from the night before hanging unspoken in the air between them.

      He glanced up at her. From the shadows under her eyes, it seemed likely that she hadn’t slept any better than he had. “The girls still in bed?”

      She sank into a chair and set the baby monitor on the table between them. “Yes. I gave Emma a bottle around five and she conked out.”

      “You should try to get a few more minutes.”

      “I’m usually in the bakery by the time the sun comes up, so I’m not sure I could sleep in if I tried.”

      “You’re not working today?”

      “My assistant is opening up. After the debacle with the water heater last night, I wasn’t sure what I’d be doing this morning.” A smile ghosted across her face. “I never would’ve guessed that I’d be waiting for you to get back to me on a marriage proposal.”

      At the words, his chest tightened. No matter what happened, from here things would be different, for all of them. “Jules, I...”

      She forced a laugh, her big blue eyes shiny. “You don’t even have to finish that sentence. I understand. It’s a crazy idea.”

      He let his gaze slide away from her to the pond in the distance, watching curls of fog waft lazily from the surface of the water. Canada geese were feeding on the tender grass around the edge. “How did geese end up in Alabama?”

      “What?”

      He shrugged. “I mean, did they stop here for a rest and the next morning one of them was, like, ‘You guys go ahead, eh? I think I’m gonna stay’?”

      She was looking at him like she was thinking about calling the guys in white coats, but tears weren’t glistening in her eyes anymore. Instead, a hint of humor deepened a tiny dimple in the corner of her mouth.

      “Geese mate for life, right?” Cam went on. “Maybe Gladys decided she was sick of flying back and forth every year, so Elmer just threw up his wings and said, ‘I guess we live in Alabama now.’”

      When she smiled, her whole face lit up. “I suppose you feel that Elmer is a kindred spirit?”

      “Well, it is a little surreal that a little over a week ago, I was waking up in Marrakech, with no home, no family and no obligations.”

      Her voice was as soft and sweet as her smile, the slow drawl of her Southern accent taking him back to an earlier, nearly forgotten, time in his life. “It’s okay, Cam. We’ll figure something out about the girls.”

      Cam lived a nomadic life. As a rule, he didn’t make long-term decisions. But Eleanor and Emma—and Jules—needed more than that. He reached for courage and hoped he’d find it. “I didn’t sleep last night. I kept imagining what life would be like for Emma and Eleanor if they lived with...you know. If they had to leave you, leave here.”

      She swallowed hard, nodding but not speaking.

      “They’ve been through so much already, losing Sam and Glory. And while I honestly think the girls would end up with you in the long run, what would that kind of separation cost them?”

      Her face was a battlefield of emotion and he wanted to reassure her that he would make everything better. She thought getting married was a crazy idea. How crazy would she think he was if he told her that he’d been up all night not because he didn’t want to get married, but because the idea of it seemed like such a tantalizing dream?

      He turned to her and reached for her hand, but stopped short. Her hand wasn’t his to hold. “Jules, there’s a lot about this world I can’t change. But in this case, I can change things for two little girls—two little girls who I already love. I’d never forgive myself if something happened to them and I didn’t do everything I could to prevent it.”

      Jules pressed her fist to her lips, letting out a shaky breath. “You mean—are you sure?”

      He scrubbed a hand over his short hair and walked to the rail before turning back to her. Regardless of what he said now, this was insane. They were both certifiable. “It’s still a crazy idea. You know that, right?”

      She laughed. “Oh, yeah.”

      “Okay, then. I’m in.”

      Jules launched herself across the deck and into his arms, half laughing as she threw her arms around him. Shocked, he went still.

      She pushed back, her eyes wide. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean... Okay, I’m going to check on the girls now.”

      “No need to apologize.” He managed an easy smile, but the turmoil spinning inside felt anything but easy. He took a deep breath. “So we’ll meet at the courthouse after you drop the kids off at preschool?”

      “Yes. Can we say ten thirty?”

      “Of course.”

      Her face—with her wide, slightly dilated eyes—was a reflection of the range of feelings rushing through her, which should probably be comforting. He wasn’t the only one going into this with a healthy dose of fear.

      A cry sounded through the monitor and she snatched it from the table like a lifeline. “I’ve gotta run. I’ll see you at ten thirty?”

      “I’ll be there.” As she disappeared into the house, he turned back toward the pond, a knot in the pit of his stomach. But he was doing the right thing. They were doing the right thing.

      Right?

      * * *

      Jules opened the door of her childhood home and was greeted by an enthusiastic silver German shepherd. She gave him a scratch, nudged him back with her knee and stepped into the kitchen.

      Light streamed in through the window over the sink,

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