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be.

      Unless Joe wasn’t coming.

      Samantha picked up the phone and said, “Hello.”

      “Sam?” It was a little girl’s voice. “Is that you?”

      “Abbie?” Cautious now, she sat back in her chair. In seconds she was all choked up, her eyes brimming with tears. It had been so long since she heard this precious little girl’s voice.

      “Hi.” Abbie sounded relieved for a second.

      “Hi, baby.” Samantha smiled, finding the moment bittersweet. “How are you?”

      “I’m okay,” Abbie said tearfully.

      “Really?”

      “Well—” Abbie hesitated “—maybe not so okay. I know I’m not supposed to call, but Daddy’s not here. And neither is Monica. There’s just the baby-sitter, and she thinks you’re just a friend of mine from school. So I thought it would be okay. Is it? Okay, I mean?”

      “Oh, Abbie.” Samantha closed her eyes, and the tears slid down her cheeks. She knew what she had to do, but she wasn’t sure how she’d find the courage. The last thing in the world she wanted to do was hurt Abbie. “Did your father tell you not to call me?”

      “Yes. But I found the number in his desk drawer, and I thought as long as he didn’t know, it would be okay. I miss you, Sam.”

      “I miss you, too, sweetie. And Sarah. How is she?”

      “She’s okay, I guess. She’s mad that we had to move to a new house just because Monica had to have a bigger one, and she doesn’t like her new teacher, but she has a friend in her class. I do, too. The house is big, and it has a great backyard. But there aren’t any kids close by. And Daddy’s…well, Daddy’s okay. Monica is, too, I guess. But…I still miss you so much.”

      “Abbie, I’m sorry. I love you very much. You know that, don’t you? And I always will.”

      “I don’t understand why you had to go so far away.”

      And Samantha simply couldn’t explain it to her, except to say, “You know the worst thing about being a grown-up is that we don’t always get to do what we want or to live where we want or to see the people we love as much as we’d like. But I do love you. I won’t ever stop. And I love Sarah, too.”

      “You just don’t love Daddy?”

      Samantha sighed, then drew in a shaky breath. Richard didn’t love her anymore. That was the problem. But she couldn’t make him the villain here, not to his daughter. Samantha wanted Abbie and Sarah to be happy now with Richard and his new wife, even if it had broken Samantha’s heart to lose the girls. And if she wanted the girls to be happy, she couldn’t blame their father for what happened.

      “Abbie, I’m so sorry. If I could, I’d wave a magic wand and everything would go back to the way it was before, and we’d all be together again.”

      “But you can do all sorts of magic,” Abbie argued. “I saw you. Lots of times. Can’t you fix this? So we can be together again?”

      “No, sweetie, I can’t.”

      “Well…can I at least call you? When Daddy isn’t here? So we can just talk sometimes?”

      “Abbie, it’s long distance. Your father’s going to know you called when he gets the bill and sees my number there.”

      “He will?”

      “I’m afraid so. You’re going to have to tell him.”

      “But he’ll get mad.”

      “Maybe not so mad if you tell him first, Abbie. Tell him you’re sorry, and then ask him if it’s okay if you call again sometimes. Maybe on my birthday. Do you remember when it is?”

      “May?”

      “Yes, in May.”

      “But that’s four whole months away! What if I don’t want to wait that long? What if I need to talk to you?”

      Swallowing hard, barely managing to keep her voice steady, Samantha said, “You’re going to have to ask your father and do what he says. Because he’s your father.”

      Whereas, she was nothing to Abbie anymore, at least not according to Abbie’s father. Never mind that Samantha spent three years mothering Abbie and Sarah, or that she couldn’t love them more if she’d given birth to them.

      “Abbie?” she said softly, working hard not to let the bitterness come through. “Your father is the one who gets to decide about these things, okay?”

      “It’s just not fair,” Abbie said tearfully.

      “I know.” Samantha had to cover the receiver for a minute, because she was crying so hard and she didn’t want the little girl to hear. It would only make this harder. “I love you, sweetie. Tell Sarah I love her, too.”

      And then Samantha hung up the phone and wept.

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