LITMIR.BIZ

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      ‘Is that your way of saying that if I’m happy Dylan will be happy?’ That was Jess all over. But, then, she was a psychologist.

      ‘At last something’s got into that dense brain matter. Now get a move on. You’re due at the base in twenty-five minutes, and even at five-thirty in the morning traffic around Kitsilano is more than what you’re used to.’

      ‘On my way.’ So much for having breakfast before he hit the road. He’d spent ten minutes watching and absorbing the sight of his son sleeping; Dylan was his world, and one of the reasons he’d returned to the city where he’d been happiest. The first time he’d moved here had been within weeks of leaving high school; his best friend, Dave, right beside him. They were going to conquer the world and put Kamloops into the only-for-visiting-the-olds file.

      He’d truly believed he’d escaped his parents. More fool him. His dreams had begun falling into place, then his father had had yet another mental breakdown and he’d been expected to pick up the pieces. Now here he was back again, the dreams altered but still there. Everything he did, worked for, would be about Dylan, not his parents, other than to make sure they were safe and comfortable. His son was not growing up under the weight of his parents’ selfishness.

      At last he’d learned to stop feeling guilty every time his father got ill. It wasn’t his fault, and he shouldn’t be expected to give up his life to fix their problems when they weren’t prepared to try and sort things out themselves.

       Oh, just call Hunter, get him to do it.

      Hunter swallowed hard. Coming here had been the right thing to do. For his boy, and for him. Time to start over with a clean slate. There’d be memories of Bren around every corner, which he’d have to ignore once he got today done and dusted. He was under no illusion. Seeing her for the first time would be difficult. Yet it had to be done, then he’d get on with settling into Vancouver, the place where he’d been so very happy so long ago.

      Not that he was the young guy any more who laughed at everything, thought the world owed him, and believed there might be a chance that if he worked hard enough, he might achieve the life he wanted. No, but something from that time lingered and had drawn him back, away from Kamloops and the darkness and frustration that lurked around every corner.

      Straightening up, he took one last look at his boy and strode away, his eyes moist. At the front door he paused, said, without looking back, ‘Jess? Go easy on him if he gets upset today, will you?’ It wasn’t Jess who needed reminding Dylan stressed at new settings with new people. It was him who needed reassuring that everyone had Dylan’s back while he went to work. Deep down he understood Dave and his family were there for his son. It was just that he needed reassurance that he had done the right thing, coming to Vancouver.

      ‘Get out of here, will you? I’m going back to bed to snuggle up to my man for half an hour. When you get out of my hair.’

      Hunter was pushed out the door, and the lock clicked behind him.

      ‘I’m going, all right?’ Not that Jess would hear, but habit had him getting the last word in. Zipping his puffer jacket up to his chin, Hunter slid behind the wheel of his four-wheel drive and backed down the drive.

      ‘Here I go.’ He headed to SW Marine Drive, trying to ignore the confusion in his head, and failing. Shortly he was going to see Brenna, hear her voice, her laugh, and he had no idea how he’d react. He wanted to be cool, calm and friendly. That’s how he should be after all this time. Once they hadn’t been able to get enough of each other, had believed the future was theirs for the taking. Hunter shook his head abruptly in an attempt to banish those memories, which were probably rose-tinted anyway. He was meant to be looking forward, to settling down in a city he loved, to a life he chose and not one dictated by guilt and strained loyalties.

      When he’d decided to make the move west, he’d thought through all the consequences and while accepting he’d once loved Brenna more than life itself, he believed she wasn’t going to be a problem—if he ever saw her. At the time he hadn’t known he’d end up working alongside her for four weeks.

      He should’ve turned down the request to work on the emergency helicopters the moment he’d heard her name. Hard to do when the base director had all but gone down on bended knees begging him to give whatever time he could manage, they were that short-staffed. Anyway, he loved emergency medicine. The adrenalin shot when racing out to an accident always made him feel needed and happy to be helping people.

      The position he was taking up next month at Vancouver General would have plenty of those moments, but there was something about getting into an ambulance and racing to help someone. Since arriving in town he’d been walking on hot coals every day with nothing more to do than wait for his hospital job to start and to move into his house on the settlement date. With Dylan happy at his new preschool he was redundant for hours.

      Jess had told him about the rescue service’s need for a temporary paramedic and had offered to look after his son before and after school if he took it up. She was probably sick of him hanging around the house during the day.

      The airport loomed ahead far too quickly, and Hunter was pulling into the rescue centre long before he’d prepared himself. Bren wasn’t just a part of his past. She was still real, and, for a few weeks at least, a piece of his life again. Hopefully she was still always late to everything, and he’d get a few more minutes to pull himself together.

      His palms were damp on the steering wheel. His ears filled with a thumping sound coming from behind his ribs. Was she as beautiful as he recalled? Would that regret over what they’d lost, which he’d felt the day he’d married Dylan’s mother, return?

      Would Brenna shoot him on sight just for turning up?

      Hunter put the gear stick in Reverse. He was out of there. Doing a runner. He’d head for the hills until it was time to pick Dylan up.

      His foot remained on the brake pedal. He had to stay and go into the hangar, sign on and do his job. Twelve hours and he’d be able to quit—until tomorrow, when it would be a little bit easier. The ice would be broken. With a sigh he turned the ignition off. Since when had he become so gutless?

      Stepping inside the cavernous hangar, he headed in the direction of the voices coming through an open door. Kevin, the base commander, and—He stopped. It was Bren’s voice he was hearing. His skin tightened. Brenna. Not Bren. Those days were gone, over, finished, because he might stumble in his determination to make this move work if he allowed any feelings from the past to beat him around the head. As were the days over when he dropped everything and everybody to be there for his parents. He did love them, but they weren’t playing the guilt card any more.

      Brenna was saying, ‘Sorry I’m late. A burst water main on my avenue had traffic diverted all over the show.’ A metal locker door banged shut.

      ‘You’re fine. Nothing’s happening so far,’ Kevin said.

      She thought arriving right on time was late? Change number one.

      ‘Good. I want to go online and book the car onto the ferry before it’s too late. When I got home late from Whistler last night I was exhausted and figured I’d find time today. Mum was supposed to do it but she ran out of time too. She’s busier than ever now she’s retired.’ Brenna laughed.

      That laugh, warm and endearing, and much too familiar, crunched Hunter’s gut. His feet dragged towards the doorway, her voice winding around him, reminding him of sultry nights between the sheets. Spinning around to run for the car park was tempting. Instead he clenched his hands and tightened his leg muscles. Running wouldn’t solve a thing. Beneath his ribs a heavy thudding felt as though he was being beaten with a stick.

      This was far more difficult than he’d believed. The past would be harder to ascend than Mount Baker, and it seemed Brenna still had the power to make him aware of her. Right down to his toes. He’d once loved her with all his being. Now he didn’t. Didn’t? Or shouldn’t? His mouth dried. He still loved Bren? Had he been in denial all along? No. He couldn’t have. Then why

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