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The Complete Christmas Collection. Rebecca Winters
Читать онлайн.Название The Complete Christmas Collection
Год выпуска 0
isbn 9780008900564
Автор произведения Rebecca Winters
Серия Mills & Boon e-Book Collections
Издательство HarperCollins
“Maybe.”
“Doubt you’d last long, cold as it is.”
She glanced up then, emerald eyes fixing firmly on his face. “I’d last long enough.”
Logan grunted. He scooped up the beer bottle, snagged the cap on the porch rail and snapped it off. He tipped the bottle up and tugged deeply, swallowing several mouthfuls of the smooth brew and sighing with pleasure.
Amy’s gaze clung to him, following the movements of his throat and darting to his hand. He took another swig. Her eyebrows lowered into a glower.
Logan’s belly warmed, sending a sweet thrill up his spine. She’d had the exact same expression the night of her nineteenth birthday. He’d given in to her badgering and had taken her up to the local pool hall to celebrate.
She hadn’t been satisfied with flashing her ID at the door. Nope. She’d done her best to sweet talk him into going to the bar and getting her a beer. He’d brought her fried cheese sticks and a milk instead. She’d been beyond ticked.
The warmth spread to his face and pulled at the corners of his mouth. He tipped the bottle up again, grinning as her frown darkened. It was good to see a little life in her.
She jerked her chin. “Your daddy ever tell you it’s impolite not to share?”
A chuckle rumbled deep in his chest. The kind he hadn’t had in years. He let it loose, relishing the feel and sound of it.
Her gaze wandered over his face to linger on his smile. Her lush mouth parted, the edges tipping up and her face lighting with pleasure. That was all it took.
Before he knew it, he was leaning over, savoring the curves of her lips under his. The sweet flavor of her mingled with the crisp coolness of the beer on his tongue.
She tasted the same. Warm and comforting. Like his own personal sun in the middle of winter. She tasted like home.
It didn’t last. She pulled away, squaring her shoulders and stepping back.
“This can’t happen, Logan,” she whispered.
“Why not?” He straightened, setting the beer back on the porch rail. “You’re still my wife.”
“I haven’t been that for a long time. And I wouldn’t have been in the first place if you’d had a choice.”
“That’s not true—”
“It’s not?” She leaned forward. “You mean if I hadn’t lied to you and gotten pregnant, you would’ve chosen to marry me?”
He hesitated, scrambling for the right words. The ones he’d chosen so carefully on the drive to bring her home.
“You’ve never lied to me, Logan. Please don’t start now,” she stated softly. “Would you have married me back then if you’d had a choice?”
Not then. Not at such a young age. And not before they’d had a chance to experience life beyond the ranch.
His jaw clamped shut. He couldn’t say that out loud. Not now. Not when she looked so vulnerable. So hopeful.
“Would you have given in to me to begin with if I hadn’t trailed you so hard? If I hadn’t pushed so much?” she pressed, her voice catching.
No. He wouldn’t have.
She sighed and looked away. “We grew up together. We were friends. I should’ve left it at that.”
That cool mask returned. It settled over her features like a glaze of ice, freezing out all emotion in her expression.
“You were right,” she said, knuckles turning white from her grip on the porch rail. “I was naïve and foolish. It was nothing but misguided hero worship.”
Logan flinched, an unexpected pain spearing his chest. He’d spent so much time in the past trying to reason the idea with her. Trying to get her to understand what she felt for him was nothing more than a crush. That, at four years her senior, he was easy to look up to and become infatuated with.
But, as she’d grown, he’d had to work harder at talking himself into believing it, too. And on that ride home from the pool hall the night of her nineteenth birthday, she’d turned to him, put her hands on him and touched that beautiful mouth of hers to his.
And, heaven help him, he’d given in. Over and over again during the next two months. Helpless to put a stop to it. Not even wanting to.
She’d sent his self-control up in flames more times than he cared to remember. Had continued to push for more until he was so desperate not to lose her altogether that he gave in whenever she wanted.
Logan squeezed his eyes shut. He should’ve been more responsible back then. Wiser. Shouldn’t have blindly accepted her word that she’d been protected. That she’d taken care of things.
He learned later she deliberately hadn’t. And, as a result, they’d made a daughter then lost her. He’d almost lost Amy, too. All because of her selfish obsession.
“But you didn’t leave it at that,” he gritted, facing her. “You had to have your way.”
“I never meant to hurt you.” Her face flushed. “Not then and not now. As hard as it is to believe, that’s God’s honest truth.”
“We both have regrets, Amy.” He sighed and shook his head. “You were so young. You think that sits well with me? That I didn’t step up? Put a stop to things?”
She smiled. It was small. A joyless tilt. “I knew what I was doing, Logan. Even at nineteen. And even if you were my first.”
“I was never interested in being your first.”
“I know. You wanted to stay friends. Wanted me to grow up. Live and learn.” She released the rail, wrapping her arms around her middle. “Well, I have. I’m not that girl anymore. I’ve learned and I won’t ever be like her again.”
He clenched his eyes shut. She was right. He’d wanted to wait. Had spent so much time waiting. Waiting for her to mature. Waiting to see if her adoration grew into something real. Something he could trust. Her friendship had been too important for him to risk it.
“I really and truly thought back then that all you needed was a little push,” she said. “That if I could show you how I felt, you’d understand and feel the same. That you’d want the same things and I could make you happy.” A humorless laugh burst from her. “It was such a stupid teenage thing to do. So ridiculous. And you called me on it. Do you remember what you said to me?” she asked. “When I told you I was glad I’d gotten pregnant? That it’d been my intention?”
His stomach roiled, a roaring sounding in his ears.
“You told me I was selfish. That I had a selfish obsession.”
“I was angry.” Dragging his tongue from the dry roof of his mouth, he said, “I should’ve been less blunt. You were so young—”
“But it was the truth, wasn’t it?” She kneaded her nape with both hands. “I was selfish and obsessed. I never had a clue how to be a real friend.” She shook her head. “But that was the best lesson I ever learned. I’ve learned how to be a good friend, Logan. I have. And I finally did the right thing and filed. You don’t have to pay for my mistake anymore.”
A mistake. Their daughter a mistake. Their marriage a mista—
“Marrying you was not a mistake,” he rasped. “I chose to make you promises and I intend to keep them.”
“That’s my Logan,” she whispered. Her fingertips rose, bumping gently across the creases on his forehead and following the hard line of his jaw. “Always doing the right thing. The honest, honorable thing. That’s how you got into this mess to begin with.” She leaned in, her breasts brushing his chest. “We both have a chance to get out of this. To get our lives back. All you