LITMIR.BIZ

Скачать книгу

Erik,” she said as he took it, “you really don’t need to come all the way over here to fix those brackets.”

      The mug settled on the counter beside her.

      “I know I don’t. And I don’t need you telling me that,” he insisted, and skimmed her cheek with his knuckles.

      The small contact compounded the anxiety knotting behind her breastbone.

      Taking a small step back, needing to break his touch as much as the hold he’d gained on her heart, her voice dropped to an agonized whisper. “I can’t do this.”

      Even as his hand fell, his shoulders rose with a slow, deep breath. His hard, handsome features were suddenly impossible to read.

      “By ‘this’ you mean the sex.”

      “No. Yes.” Shaking her head, she shoved her fingers through her hair. “I mean, it’s not just that. Making love with you was amazing,” she admitted, because it had been. “It’s that I can’t let myself feel what I’m starting to feel for you.” What she already did feel, she thought, and which totally terrified her. “I can’t let myself count on you to do things for me. Or for you to be around to talk to. Or for you to be here. If I do, it would be too easy to rely on you even more.”

      Apparently nothing she’d said explained why she was withdrawing from him. If anything, Erik just looked a little mystified. She figured that was because of what she’d admitted about the sex part. But then, she always had had a problem filtering what she said to him.

      His eyes narrowed on hers. “Why not?”

      Crossing her arms over the knot in her stomach, her voice dropped another notch. “Because I’m not going to set myself up to lose something I don’t even have. It doesn’t make sense to do that,” she admitted, not sure she was making sense to him. “I can’t do that to myself. And I definitely can’t do it to my son. It will only hurt Tyler if I let him grow any more attached to you than he already is, Erik. I know people will come and go from his life. People already have, but I’ve never seen him take to anyone the way he has to you.” She’d done a lousy job of protecting herself. That failing would not keep her from protecting her son. “Since the arrangement between us is temporary anyway, it just seems best to back away and keep business...business.”

      Her heart hurt. Rubbing the awful ache with her fingertips, she watched his jaw tighten as he stepped back.

      Erik wasn’t at all sure what he felt at that moment. He wasn’t even sure what he felt for this woman, beyond an undeniable physical need and a sense of protectiveness he wasn’t familiar with at all. All he knew for certain was that they had stepped over a line she clearly had not been prepared to cross.

      Recriminations piled up like cars in a train wreck. He’d known all along that it would be a mistake to get involved with her. He’d known from the moment he’d met her that she was dealing with far more than he’d gone through when his marriage had ended. What he didn’t understand was how he could have forgotten that his sole goal in agreeing to help her was to have no reason to return to this place once his obligation to Cornelia had been satisfied.

      The fact that he hadn’t considered any of that last night had his own defenses slamming into place. Having done enough damage already, he wasn’t about to complicate their relationship any further. Or let her push him any farther away.

      “Just answer one question for me.”

      “If I can.”

      “Last night. The tears. Were they because you were thinking of Curt?”

      He figured he had to be some sort of masochist for wanting to know if that was what really had been going on with her while they’d been making love. No man wanted to think a woman had another man on her mind while he had her in his arms. Still, for some reason he couldn’t begin to explain, he needed to know.

      For a moment, Rory said nothing. Partly because the question caught her so off guard. Partly because it was only now that she realized her only thought last night about the man she’d married was how Erik had lessened the void he’d left.

      She couldn’t begin to explain everything she’d felt last night. Or what she felt now because of his question.

      It seemed easiest to just go to the heart of what he really wanted to know.

      “The only person in that bed with me was you, Erik.”

      He heard something a little raw in her quiet reply, something that made her look as if he’d just totally exposed how absorbed she’d been in only him—which was no doubt why she stood there with her arms crossed so protectively and her eyes begging him to go.

      He could hear Tyler racing down the stairs.

      “We’re supposed to meet with Phil after the first of the year.” He spoke the reminder quietly, as conscious of the child coming toward them as he was of the definite need for distance. “I don’t remember the date, but I’ll get it from her. We can figure out our work schedule from there.”

      “Can we do the train now?”

      Tyler had stopped at the end of the island, his expectant glance darting from one adult to the other. He’d pulled on pants and a green thermal shirt and held a red flannel shirt in his fist.

      “I have to go now,” Erik told the grinning little boy. “But I heard your mom say she’d help you.”

      His smile fell. “You have to go?”

      “Yeah, bud. I do.” Unprepared for how the child’s disappointment affected him, not sure what to make of the strange hollow in his chest, he tousled his sandy hair one last time, gave him a smile and let himself out through the store.

      “Erik! I was just going to call you!”

      Erik turned from where he was locking the front door of Merrick & Sullivan’s client office. Phil had just emerged from the silver Mercedes parked behind the construction Dumpster in front of the building next door. The tails of her white scarf flew in the breeze as she hurried around to the sidewalk. “Do you have a minute?”

      He didn’t feel particularly sociable. What he did feel was defensive, edgy and impatient to be on his way. Still, he made himself smile. “Sure,” he called back, pocketing his keys. Hunching his shoulders against the chill, he headed to where she’d stopped by Cornelia’s building’s front door. “What’s up?”

      “Let’s get out of the cold. I’ll make us some coffee.”

      “A minute is really all I have, Phil. I’m leaving to see my folks in a couple of hours.”

      “Oh. Well, then.” Hitching her bag higher on her shoulder, she crossed her arms over her furry white coat. Beneath her matching hat, her eyes smiled through the lenses of her bookish, horn-rimmed glasses. “Rory said you were there when I called the other day. The power being out everywhere had us concerned about her and her son,” she explained, “but some neighbors were visiting so I knew we didn’t have to worry. We didn’t have a chance to really talk, though. Is everything all right with the property?”

      Realizing she was checking up on Cornelia’s investment threatened to turn his mood even more restive. “There are a few downed trees and a loose gutter, but no structural damage,” he told her, thinking that was about all she’d be interested in. “I heard the power was restored a while ago.”

      He’d learned that from Ed, who’d done as Erik had asked him to do and called when the area had gone back on the grid. Since he’d told his old friend about Rory’s unfamiliarity with the generator when he’d borrowed his saw, Ed hadn’t questioned his concern about wanting to make sure there were no other glitches.

      Erik hadn’t let himself question his concern, either. He’d tried hard to keep thoughts of her and Tyler to a minimum.

      “That’s

Скачать книгу