LITMIR.BIZ

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      “I’m not judging you.” She touched the back of his hand—and too quickly withdrew. He wanted to grab her wrist, to hold on. But he did no such thing. She said, “I promise you, I am, truly, your friend first of all. I don’t want you to be anyone but exactly who you are.”

      He didn’t believe her. “You say that now.”

      “Because it’s the truth. I’m not judging you, but I do want to...understand. I want to understand you, Dami.”

      He felt outclassed. Overmatched. By a homeschooled twenty-three-year-old who’d been a virgin until two weeks ago. He gritted his teeth and confessed, “I’ve tried a lot of things you might not approve of.”

      She didn’t look the least surprised. “I only wanted to know about Susie because of what happened tonight. For the rest of it, well, Dami, it’s your life. I’m happy for whatever you want to share with me, but I really don’t need to hear about every single sexual encounter.”

      “Good.”

      But she wasn’t done yet. “As long as they were with other consenting adults.”

      He nodded. “They were.”

      “And no one was injured.”

      He almost smiled. “No one.”

      “And, well, now we’re on this subject, there’s something I should have asked you before, in Montedoro at Thanksgiving, but I was too nervous and afraid I might scare you off and not really planning ahead...”

      “Luce.”

      “Hmm?”

      “Go ahead. Ask.”

      “Do you— Have you always practiced safe sex?”

      “Always.”

      She looked into her cup and then back up at him. “Well. Okay, then.” She started to speak—and then didn’t.

      He commanded, “Tell me. Just say it.”

      “I... Well, I do care that while you’re with me, you’re only with me. I’m just kind of old-fashioned that way.”

      The unreality of it—of Lucy as his lover—struck him anew. Never in his wildest dreams would he have imagined himself having this conversation with her. At the same time, after last night and the nights in Montedoro, he couldn’t imagine ever wanting anyone but her. Which was pure insanity. It might feel stronger with her, better somehow. But it was simple sexual attraction and that never lasted. It ran its course and faded, like cut flowers in a crystal vase, like a stubborn head cold.

      She spoke again. “If you can’t do that, can’t agree to be exclusively with me, well, that is a deal breaker for me.”

      He had zero need to think it over. “Of course I can do that.” For as long as it lasted, she’d said—which as of now was only until Wednesday or Thursday. And that was yet another absurdity. He couldn’t imagine leaving her so soon.

      And who did he think he was fooling, anyway? He shouldn’t even be here. It would have been better for both of them if he hadn’t shown up on her doorstep yesterday, better if he’d never let this thing with them get started....

      “Dami, are you sure?”

      He didn’t flinch, but he wanted to. The question itself was bad enough. Did she have to ask twice? He wanted to be insulted, to lay on the irony: Well, I might have to grab a quickie with a stranger between meetings on Monday. A man has needs after all.

      But he looked in her eyes and all he saw was sincerity. She was an inexperienced, truehearted woman involved with a man who had no idea how many women he’d had in his bed. Of course she worried that he couldn’t be faithful.

      So he answered her honestly. “I am sure, yes. Absolutely.” He wanted to touch her, to reach for her and draw her close. But that seemed wrong somehow and unfair. He reassured her further. “Until you, I hadn’t been with anyone in a while.” Not since the last time with V, in August, which had ended in another of her big scenes. “And while we’re together, that’ll be it. There won’t be anyone but you. I promise you that.”

      She put her hand on his sleeve then. That simple touch hit him deep. It was better by far than any threesome. “I’m so glad.”

      “It’s no hardship. None at all.”

      She squeezed his arm. “I know you think I’m innocent.”

      He caught her hand, brought it to his lips. “Because you are.”

      “No.”

      He kissed the tips of her fingers one by one. “Yes.”

      She shook her head. “No. Okay, it’s true that I haven’t had much experience with men. And I like to keep a positive attitude. But still, I’m not innocent, not really. I know what life is. I’ve been up close and way too personal with death. My dad was dead before I was even born. And my mom...she wasn’t right. You know what you said about the powerful love your parents have? Well, my mom loved my dad that way. She never got over that he died. And we lived in this tiny, run-down place and I was always sick and there wasn’t any money and Noah wasn’t anything like he is today. He was out of control back then, drinking and fighting all the time. And then when I was nine, Mom got sick and she died....”

      He reminded her gently, “Luce, I know all this.”

      “I know you do. But what I’m getting at is, when Mom died, I made up my mind that I would be happy no matter what, that whatever suffering or heartache I had to endure, I would focus on the good things. I wouldn’t let the losses and the hurts drag me down. I promised myself that I would keep a good attitude. It was not a decision made in innocence. I might have been only nine at the time, but believe me, when my mom died, I hadn’t been innocent for years.”

      He dared to touch her sweet face at last, to trace the graceful arch of each brow, to trail his fingers down her cheek. She made a small questioning sound. And he said, “All right. Not innocent. Good. You are good, good to the deepest part of you. I’m not.”

      She held his eyes. “Yes, you are.” And she laughed a little. “You are very good, I promise you. You are also curious and adventurous and I know you’ve been wild. So what? I find you generous and helpful, brilliant and fun. Not to mention a truly epic lover.”

      That did make him smile. “Epic, am I?”

      “Legendary. No doubt.”

      He went ahead and wrapped his fingers around the back of her neck and drew her close enough that he could breathe in the scent of her. “You’re just saying that to get me to have sex with you.”

      She rubbed her soft cheek to his rough one. “Is it working?”

      “Truth?”

      “Please.”

      “You had me in the entry when you took off your coat.”

      A smile bloomed full at last. “Apparently, I’m good in more ways than one.”

      “And a quick learner, too.” He claimed her mouth in a kiss that started out sweet but swiftly turned steamy.

      When he let her go, she picked up her cup again and drank the rest. And then she said, “Also, don’t forget, I lived in my brother’s house for eleven years. And Noah was never a saint. I may not have done things until I did them with you, but I know what goes on.”

      “Noah would hate that you saw more than you should have. His whole life has been about protecting you.”

      “Dami, get real. Noah likes women. I’m sure you can relate to that.”

      “Too well, I’m afraid.”

      “Okay, then. I’m not blind. I saw what was happening. Until Alice, Noah would not give his heart. He didn’t want anything permanent and neither did most of the women he hooked up

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