LITMIR.BIZ

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brought vivid memories back of their love-making. She looked into his eyes to find him regarding her with what? Pain? Hurt? Desire? She couldn’t tell. Hastily, she scrambled to her feet.

      ‘I think I’ve had enough,’ she said, hoping that Niall would put her breathlessness down to her exertion. ‘You two carry on for a bit while I grab us some burgers and drinks.’

      Ella protested half-heartedly, but Robina could tell she was happy to have her father to herself for a little bit. They accompanied her back to the side, and she left them to it.

      As she waited for them to join her, Robina thought back to her earlier resolve. She was the one who had pushed Niall away after the miscarriage and it was up to her to make the first move. On the other hand, Niall wanted more children, children she couldn’t give him…She shook her head. What was the point? She kept going round in circles. She needed to speak to someone. Maybe her mother? Although she hated the thought of revealing the pathetic state of her marriage to Grace, she had to talk to someone. Later that evening, once a happy but tired out Ella was in bed, Niall joined Robina in her sitting room. She had showered and was wrapped in her silky dressing gown, toasting her feet in front of the fire.

      ‘It was a good day,’ he said softly, coming to stand beside her. ‘We should do it more often.’

      ‘I know,’ Robina said equally softly. ‘Ella had so much fun.’

      ‘Why don’t we rent a cottage near Ella’s grandparents for the weekend?’ Niall suggested. ‘Ella hasn’t seen Mairead’s parents since we got married and they are desperate to see her and her them.’

      Robina’s heart skipped a beat. Did he want to spend time with her or with Ella? And did it matter? She had promised Ella a trip, but the thought of being away with Niall was unsettling.

      His eyes were on hers, and if she hadn’t known better, she would think that her reply really mattered.

      ‘There are some great easy walks, and some of the most beautiful hills in Scotland to climb. I haven’t really had a chance to show you my country,’ he coaxed.

      ‘Okay,’ she said finally. ‘Why not? I’ll ask my PA to try and find something in the area, shall I?’

      ‘No,’ he said firmly. ‘I’ll arrange it. I have the perfect place in mind.’

      ‘Oh?’ Robina felt a chill run down her spine. ‘Somewhere you and Mairead stayed?’

      ‘For God’s sake, Robina. Of course not. I’m not that insensitive.’ He pulled a hand through his thick dark hair then smiled sheepishly. ‘Sorry. I know I deserved that. No, it’s nowhere Mairead and I have ever been and you don’t have to do anything except pack a bag. I’ll see to everything else. In fact, I’ve already booked it for this weekend.’

      Monday was spent watching Niall in Theatre as he collected eggs from three patients. He looked more relaxed than Robina had seen him for a long time. Gone was the distant, polite man she shared her home with. Instead, here was the man she had met twelve months before—the man she had fallen in love with.

      As he worked he seemed oblivious to the camera, explaining to each of the patients exactly what he was doing and why. Every now and again he would catch Robina’s eye as if he wanted to be reassured that she was okay.

      The last patient of the day was a young, single woman. Maisie had been an unexpected appointment so Robina hadn’t had the opportunity to meet her in advance. However, as soon as the woman, a pretty redhead in her mid twenties, had heard about the filming she had been adamant she wanted to be part of it.

      ‘I want other people in my situation to know if there is anything that can be done,’ she said firmly.

      Maisie was attending with her mother. At twenty-four, Maisie wasn’t married, not even in a relationship, but earlier in the week she had received the devastating news that she had cervical cancer. Luckily the doctors had caught it in time, so while Maisie would need to undergo chemotherapy, as well as radiotherapy, the prognosis was very good. However, the treatment that would save her life would destroy her ovaries and any chance of her having children. Maisie was still reeling from the news that she had cancer, but she was friendly with one of the specialist nurses at the clinic who had suggested she see Niall.

      ‘They’ve told me that it’s likely I’ll go through the menopause as a result of the treatment,’ she said quietly, but Robina could see from the whiteness of her knuckles as she gripped her hands together that she was struggling to maintain her composure. ‘And that it means that it is unlikely I’ll be able to have children. Hearing that was almost the worst thing about finding out about the illness. The doctors reckon that with treatment I should make a full recovery, but that I should accept that children aren’t for me.’ Her voice cracked a little. But she took a deep breath and continued. ‘I have always wanted children. Ever since I can remember. I can’t bear it if I can’t. Mairi said you might be able to help me.’

      Niall leaned forward in his chair. His voice was gentle. ‘The most important thing is to ensure that your illness is treated successfully. You do realise that?’

      ‘Of course. I know that they wouldn’t recommend I have chemo and radiotherapy unless it was necessary, but they say they won’t be starting until next month.’

      ‘When I read the referral letter from your GP, I phoned your oncologist,’ Niall continued. ‘I wanted to be clear what the treatment plan was before we spoke. I didn’t want to get your hopes up.’

      The spark of hope in Maisie’s eyes cut Robina to the core. Why was life so unfair? Just when the woman in front of her thought she had everything to look forward to, her dreams were snatched away.

      ‘When did you last have a period?’ Niall asked.

      When Maisie told him, Niall looked satisfied. ‘The timing is good, then,’ he said. ‘What we can do is to stimulate your ovaries to produce eggs, then freeze them using a process called vitrification. Then later, when you are ready, we could thaw them and fertilise them with your partner’s sperm. It would give you a chance at a pregnancy. Your oncologist would be happy for us to treat you as long as we act quickly. I’m afraid it doesn’t give you much time to think, but it is an option.’

      Tears were rolling down Maisie’s cheeks and Robina felt tears prick her own eyes. She blinked rapidly. Despite the tears, hope had brightened Maisie’s eyes. Robina just hoped Niall knew what he was doing. Surely he wouldn’t take chances with this young woman? What use would she be to a child if she were no longer alive to care for it?

      ‘But won’t the hormones you need to give her speed up the spread of her cancer?’ Maisie’s mother asked anxiously. ‘Because, darling, if they do, can’t you see it’s not worth taking the chance?’

      ‘I wouldn’t recommend this course of action if I wasn’t absolutely certain that it won’t affect the outcome of Maisie’s treatment,’ Niall said. ‘The level of hormones we use in order to stimulate your own hormones is tiny compared to that which floods a pregnant woman’s body. The latest research shows that the amount we would be giving you, along with the very short time span you’d be receiving the hormones, has no material effect on your cancer, but of course it’s entirely up to Maisie. All I can do is tell you what is possible, along with the pros and cons—but the decision is entirely up to you.’

      ‘Mairi said if anyone could help, it would be you.’ Maisie smiled before turning to her mother and taking her hand in hers. ‘Mum, I need to do this, do you understand? Can you support me? I don’t want to live if it means not ever being able to have children. And my treatment won’t be starting for a few weeks anyway.’

      ‘You can always adopt, darling. Have you thought about that?’

      ‘I could, Mum. Possibly. But who knows if it would ever happen? There’s such a shortage of babies. Besides, I know this is really selfish of me, but I want a child that is mine genetically. If it is at all possible.’

      ‘Well then, my love, it’s up to you.’ Maisie’s

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