LITMIR.BIZ

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for not coming sooner. I should have been here to help you during the past few months.”

      Her smile wavered. “I know I’ve let the house and buildings go.”

      He started to ask another question, but when he met her steady gaze and saw how her chin trembled as she tried to hide her dismay, he nodded. “It doesn’t take long once wind and rain get through one spot to start wrecking a whole building.”

      “That’s true. I know I eventually will need to sell the farm. I’ve already had several offers to buy it.”

      “Amish or Englisch?”

      “Both, though I wouldn’t want to see the acres broken up and a bunch of Englisch houses built here.”

      “Some Englischers like to live on a small farm, as we do.” He used the last piece of crust to collect the remaining apple filling on the plate. “My neighbors are like that.”

      “I didn’t realize you had Englisch neighbors.”

      “Ja.” He picked up his cup of tea. “Their Alexis and my Timothy have played together from the time they could walk.”

      “Will Alexis babysit for you?”

      Joshua shook his head, lowering his untasted tea to the table. “She’s involved in many activities at the high school and her part-time job, so she’s seldom around. I hear her driving into their yard late every evening.”

      “Who’s going to take care of Levi and Deborah while you’re at work?”

      God, You guided our conversation to this point. Be with me now if it’s Your will for this marriage to go forward.

      He took a deep breath, then said, “I’m hoping you’ll help me, Rebekah.”

      “Me? I’d be glad to once school is out, but come fall we live too far away for the kinder to walk here after school.”

      “I was hoping you might consider a move.” He chided himself for what sounded like a stupid answer.

      “I’d like to live in Paradise Springs, but I can’t think of moving until I sell the farm. A lot needs to be repaired before I do, or I’ll get next to nothing for it.”

      “I’d be glad to help.”

      “In exchange for babysitting?” She shook her head with a sad smile. “It’s a wunderbaar idea, but it doesn’t solve the distance problem.”

      He looked down at the table and the picture Samuel had drawn. Right now his life felt as jumbled as those lines. He couldn’t meet Rebekah’s eyes as he asked, “What if distance wasn’t a problem?”

      “I don’t understand.”

      Talking in circles wasn’t getting him anywhere and putting off asking the question any longer was dumm. He caught her puzzled gaze and held it, trying not to lose himself in her soft blue eyes. “Rebekah Burkholder, will you marry me?”

      * * *

      Rebekah choked on her gasp. She’d been puzzled about the reason for Joshua Stoltzfus’s visit, but if she’d guessed every minute for the rest of her life, she couldn’t have imagined it would be for him to propose.

      Her son let out a protest, and she realized she’d tightened her hold around his waist until he couldn’t breathe. Loosening her arm, she set Sammy on the floor. She urged him to go and play with his wooden blocks stacked near the arch into the front room.

      “He doesn’t need to be a part of this conversation.” She watched the little boy toddle to the blocks. She needed time to get her features back under control before she answered Joshua’s astonishing question.

      “I agree,” Joshua said in a tense voice.

      She clasped her hands in her lap and looked at him. His brown hair glistened in the sunlight coming through the kitchen windows, but his eyes, which were even darker, had become bottomless, shadowed pools. He was even more handsome than he’d been when she’d first met him years ago, because his sharply sculpted nose now fit with his other strong features. His black suspenders drew her eyes to his powerful shoulders and arms, which had been honed by years of building buggies. His broad hands, which now gripped the edge of the table, had been compassionate when they’d touched hers yesterday.

      Had he planned to ask her to be his wife even then? Was that why he’d been solicitous of her and Sammy? She was confused because Joshua Stoltzfus didn’t seem to have a duplicitous bone in his body. But if he hadn’t been thinking about proposing yesterday, why had he today?

      The only way to know was to ask. She forced out the words she must. “Why would you propose to me?”

      “You need a husband, and I need a wife.” His voice was as emotionless as if they spoke about last week’s weather. “We’ve known each other for a very long time, and it’s common for Amish widows and widowers to remarry. But even more important, you’re Lloyd’s widow.”

      “Why is that more important?”

      “Lloyd and I once told each other that if something happened to one of us, we would take care of the other’s family.”

      “It isn’t our way to make vows.”

      “I know, but Lloyd was insistent that I agree to make sure his wife and family were cared for if something happened to him. I saw the gut sense and asked if he would do the same for me.” He folded his arms on the table. “He was my friend, and I can’t imagine anyone I would have trusted more with my family.”

      Rebekah quickly lowered her eyes from his sincere gaze. He truly believed Lloyd was the man she once had believed he was, too. She couldn’t tell him the truth. Not about Lloyd, but she could tell him the truth about how foolish he was to ask her to be his wife.

      “There’s a big difference between taking care of your friend’s family and...” She couldn’t even say the word marry.

      “But I haven’t even taken care of you as I promised him.”

      “We’ve managed, and we will until I can sell the farm. Danki for your concern, Joshua. I appreciate what you are doing, but it’s not necessary.”

      “I disagree. The fact remains I need a wife and you need a husband.”

      “You need a babysitter and I need a carpenter.”

      His lips twitched and she wanted to ask what he found amusing about this absurd conversation. Was it a jest he’d devised to make her smile? She pushed aside that thought as quickly as it’d formed. Joshua was a gut man. That was what everyone said, and she agreed. He wouldn’t play such a prank on her. He must be sincere.

      A dozen different emotions spiraled through her. She didn’t know what to feel. Flattered that he’d considered her as a prospect to be his wife? Fear she might be as foolish as she had been the last time a man had proposed? Not that she believed Joshua would raise his hand and strike her, but then she hadn’t guessed Lloyd would, either. And, to be honest, she never could have envisioned Joshua asking her to marry him.

      “Rebekah,” he said as his gaze captured hers again. “I know this is sudden, and I know you must think I’m ab in kopp—”

      “The thought you’re crazy has crossed my mind. More than once.”

      He chuckled, the sound soothing because it reminded her of the many other times she’d heard him laugh. He never laughed at another’s expense.

      “I’m sure it has, but I assure you that I haven’t lost my mind.” He paused, toyed with his cup, then asked, “Will you give me an answer, Rebekah? Will you marry me?”

      “But why? I don’t love you.” Her cheeks turned to fire as she hurried to add, “That sounded awful. I’m sorry. The truth is you’ve always been a gut friend, Joshua, which is why I feel I can be blunt.”

      “If we can’t speak honestly now,

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