LITMIR.BIZ

       Three

      The judges, of course, were completely terrifying. But at first, they seemed very nice. We lined up in front of them, outside the marquee, like children waiting to start detention. Which, in a way, I thought to myself, we were.

      Up ahead of us, the two judges were chatting to a cameraman, who was explaining something about angles and close-ups, which gave us a chance to check them out before they came to check us out. The male judge was in his forties, very tall and broad-shouldered with dark hair, a neat moustache and soft brown eyes. I’d watched him on television, of course, but he was much more handsome in the flesh than I had expected him to be and that unsettled me.

      The woman was older – in her sixties, I guessed. She had shoulder-length dark hair, flicked out at the ends and she was dressed in an unflattering wrap dress that made her boobs look enormous. She wasn’t the judge I’d expected – the one who was normally on the show.

      ‘I thought the female judge was that other woman,’ I hissed to Harry. ‘Martha whatsit. The one with the sharp platinum bob and the fabulous jackets.’

      ‘Martha Rowan,’ Harry whispered back. ‘She’s gone to Hollywood, would you believe? They’re making a film about her. This Lizzie is her replacement. I think she does some daytime cookery show, but I’ve never seen it.’

      Portia overheard.

      ‘We were devastated to lose Martha,’ she said in a low voice. ‘She’s a national treasure and she’s brilliant for publicity. Everyone loves her so she goes on all the chat shows when we’re recording.’

      A shadow crossed her face.

      ‘I’ve got to be honest, I’m not sure Lizzie’s got the same appeal.’

      We all looked over to where the female judge was staring fiercely down the lens of the camera.

      ‘She presents Lunch Club,’ Portia carried on. ‘Have you seen it?’

      Harry and I both shook our heads.

      ‘Nah, didn’t think you would have,’ Portia said. ‘Its fan base is mostly much older viewers. It’s actually where Martha started about twenty years ago, but she moved on to bigger and better shows and, erm, Lizzie stayed.’

      She glanced round to make sure no one was listening.

      ‘Between you, me and the gatepost, Lizzie was the only presenter who was available at short notice.’

      Harry gave Portia a reassuring smile.

      ‘She looks nice enough,’ she said. ‘I bet she’ll be great.’

      ‘I bloody well hope so,’ Portia said. Then, spotting that the judges were ready, she cleared her throat again.

      ‘Everyone,’ she said. ‘This is Peter Houston and Lizzie Cotton, your judges.’

      Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Amelia stand up a bit straighter. She was beginning to annoy me.

      The judges both smiled at us all. No one smiled back.

      ‘I’m Peter,’ the man said. He had an Essex twang to his accent that made him seem just a normal person.

      ‘We know,’ said Amelia under her breath. Like I said, annoying.

      ‘And I’m Lizzie,’ said the woman with a friendly smile that lit up her whole face and made her look far less frumpy.

      I relaxed slightly. They were very nice, really. Maybe we were all on the same side.

      ‘Are you all looking forward to getting baking?’ Lizzie carried on.

      We all stood in silence.

      ‘No need to be so nervous,’ Peter said with a gruff laugh. ‘It’ll be fun.’

      No one spoke.

      This time Lizzie laughed too.

      ‘Oh dear,’ she said. ‘Maybe we should get started?’

      I didn’t see how that was going to help us feel less nervous but it seemed I didn’t have much choice.

      ‘Here’s how it’s all going to work,’ Peter said. ‘It’s cake week, as you all know. So we’ll go into the marquee and you can familiarise yourselves with the equipment while we record some links. Then we’ll get started on the first challenge – which is a skills test. Later you’ll do your Great Bake challenge, which is your chance to really wow us.’

      ‘I know you’ve all been practising,’

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