LITMIR.BIZ

Скачать книгу

sharpened knife sliced through his heart. Losing their child before its birth had been hard enough, but Sarah’s gradual withdrawal from Ryan, and her eventual decision to file for divorce, had made his life nearly unbearable for a time.

      He’d rebuilt the best he could manage, but it was time to fully let go and move on. He’d long since stopped missing his marriage to Sarah, but was it even possible for him to risk loving someone again, much less consider starting a family, or was he forever doomed to fresh grief on each occasion he happened to run across a random pregnant woman? Worse, Katie was anything but a random woman, and seeing her—his first, and perhaps only, true love...the one that got away...carrying a new life—was excruciating.

      How could he have offered to chauffer her and a bunch of kids around for an entire weekend of camping? It would be like forcing a recovering alcoholic to spend a couple of days locked inside a bar.

      Ryan scrubbed a hand over his face. What had he been thinking?

      He recalled the emotions he’d sifted through at eighteen on his graduation night, when he’d been all set to head off to college on a coveted football scholarship and Sarah had announced her pregnancy, to the whole town’s shock once the news quickly spread. The townspeople were even more dismayed when Ryan and Sarah marched down to the courthouse and married on their way out of town the very next day. He’d had his reasons. Sarah made a happy bride for a while, and he still believed he’d done the right thing—at least as he’d understood it at the time.

      Couples on the verge of becoming first-time parents were supposed to feel a lot of things—joy, excitement, anticipation—but disappointment and fear shouldn’t have been among them. He’d been terrified, certain he didn’t have what it took to be a good father at that age, still just a hardheaded kid himself. Sarah, on the other hand, had been far less surprised about the pregnancy than he, something he’d only had a chance to explore after that night had passed and he’d made enough mistakes to last a lifetime.

      Ryan pulled himself out of the past and back into the present, which wasn’t any less disconcerting, as he glanced over at Katie, a move that yet again threatened to knock the breath from his lungs.

      She’d only become more beautiful with time.

      He’d fallen in love with the self-conscious pretty girl he met as a kid when Katie and the girls’ very-much-in-love young parents moved next door to his seldom-happy home. But now she was a gorgeous, confident woman—comfortable in her own skin and feistier than ever.

      He made himself engage in conversation, not wanting to seem rude. After all, he was the one who’d brought it up in the first place. “You must be excited,” he forced out over the lump in his throat.

      As his question settled in the air, Katie’s smile changed into something different and a look of apprehension crossed her features before she could hide it from him. When she spoke, though, her voice was clear and firm. “I am. Very,” she said, then stopped suddenly, as if reconsidering her next comment.

      “But—” Ryan offered, knowing better. He should have just let the conversation drop if he didn’t want to hear more about Katie’s baby. A little tingle of admonition lit through him.

      That was just it. He did want to hear about it—about them.

      No matter what he’d done or how far he’d moved from home, sitting there with his childhood best friend was like going back in time. The years of separation were no cure for what he’d felt. He supposed a piece of him would always belong to Katie Bloom.

      She tossed a sideways glance at Ryan. “No but,” she said, pausing before she went on, as if determining how much it was wise to reveal. “It’s just that...well, circumstances are not ideal.” She waved a gentle hand over her abdomen. “I thought I’d have things all set and ready by the time I became a mom, and...I don’t. I mean, I did—” She stared out the passenger-side window as Ryan pulled his Jeep onto Main Street, unsure of what direction to head in “—but I don’t anymore.”

      Katie looked ahead at the road, knitting her eyebrows. “Um, Ryan, where are we going?”

      “To dinner,” he answered, surprised at her question. Old habits died hard; he’d just assumed it was okay to bring her along to a meal with him.

      “No,” she said, and he glanced over at her quickly before returning his full attention to the road. It was late evening and most of the shops were closing, their owners heading home for the night, so Main Street was fairly deserted, except for a few people bustling down the sidewalk, carrying shopping bags and food containers.

      Katie laughed at him. The sound filled Ryan with memories from their shared childhood—giggling together at the cinema, over-apologizing each time their hands inadvertently brushed inside the popcorn cup, him tickling her feet when he’d gotten tired of a long homework session, just to hear the infectious melody of her laughter.

      “What’s so funny?” he asked, and Katie rolled her eyes.

      “Where do you think you’re going to get dinner at this hour?” Her eyes sparkled as she teased him.

      Ryan glanced at the clock on his dash. “It’s only eight.”

      Kate’s expression told him he was being an idiot. “It’s Peach Leaf, Ryan. Surely you haven’t been gone so long you’ve forgotten the limited nightlife of a small town.”

      Dammit, she was right. His stomach let out a groan of protest.

      “It’s okay,” Katie said, chuckling, “you can eat at my place.” She lifted her chin to indicate the road. “Just keep going and turn left up here. June and I started sharing a little house after—” she hesitated “—after I left my old apartment. You remember June Leavy from high school.”

      Ryan nodded.

      Katie pointed up ahead. “It’s this street here. Left at the stop sign.”

      Ryan switched on his signal and steered his truck as instructed down a narrow street lined with peach trees on the verge of shedding their leaves. The houses were familiar and soothing, and he could name just about every family who’d occupied each one before his departure—teachers, librarians, old friends from school. Some of the yards held evidence of new ownership; tricycles and shiny swing sets spoke of young families with children.

      He’d found he’d really rather go back to the hotel and grab an unsatisfying snack from the vending machine than endure the generous kindness he knew to expect from Katie and her old friend, but it would be rude to turn down the invitation. He might’ve moved across the country all those years ago and rarely looked back, but, as Katie pointed out, Peach Leaf was a small town, immune to the rapid changes of the rest of the world, and Ryan hadn’t forgotten his Southern manners.

      As he followed Katie’s directions and pulled into the gravel driveway of an aging but cozy-looking small blue cottage, he reminded himself that he’d agreed to spend an entire weekend with this woman—a woman he’d once loved so hard that leaving her had nearly ripped him apart—so what difference would an hour over dinner make?

      The pain of loss was nothing new to Ryan, and he would just have to steady himself until the time with her passed. Then he’d do the same as he worked on the hospital plans with his father, and sat through the dreaded town meeting to inform the residents of his hometown of the timeline for razing and replacing their beloved museum.

      He would endure, as he always had, and then it was back to his normal life in Seattle, the life he’d never adore but had come to tolerate for its predictable lack of complication.

      A life that didn’t include the inevitable hazards of love, babies...or, especially, Katie Bloom.

      * * *

      “I still can’t believe Ryan Ford is sitting out on our deck,” June whispered like a little girl at a slumber party.

      Katie just rolled her eyes. No matter the subject, June was always easily excited—it was one of the countless things she loved about her friend and housemate.

Скачать книгу