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small bunch unsullied by success, principally because there’s never been any. However once you have pledged allegiance to a soccer club, that’s that. Julian and I support the O’s to this day, although tragically as I write this, the club has gone out of the Football League.

      Years later, it was at the O’s that I was given some truly sage advice. Around the time the “Jesus Christ Superstar” single came out in Britain, I was invited to lunch in the O’s boardroom by the club’s then chairman Bernard Delfont. Bernie, later Lord, Delfont was half-brother to Lew and Leslie Grade. Between the three of them they controlled British show business. Bernie owned the theatres, Lew owned the top film and TV outlets and Leslie was agent to the stars. It was what is today called a 360 degree arrangement. So I was pretty overawed to be asked to watch a home game by the most powerful man in British theatre. Leyton Orient lost of course. But it’s the conversation after the debacle that I recall most.

      “My boy, can I give you some advice?” said Bernie, drawing me to one side.

      “Of course, Mr Delfont.”

      “Just call me Bernie.”

      “Yes, Bernie.”

      “I’ve heard that song of yours, I’ve got this feeling you could go far. I’ve got some advice for you, my boy. You’re not Jewish are you?”

      “No I’m afraid not, I’m …”

      “You’re not one of the tribe?”

      “No, I er …”

      “Never mind, I’ll give it to you anyway.” He paused. “Never, my boy, never buy a football club.”

      From that day onwards Bernie became a friend I could always count on. It was Bernie who years later came to the rescue of Cameron Mackintosh and me when we couldn’t get the theatre we needed for Cats.

      NOT VERY GRADUALLY MUM imported John into the family. There were plusses here too. As John increasingly practised chez Harrington Court, I sometimes turned the pages of his piano scores and discovered a huge amount of music I would never have known otherwise and John’s technical ability was inspiring to witness. But there were three boys going on the summer family holiday now. I am sure it must have been very awkward for John too but he seemed to accept everything Mum threw at him. Whatever Julian and I felt, we had acquired an elder brother. We had no choice in the matter. Nor did Dad. He admired John and recognized his exceptional gifts, particularly as an interpreter of Beethoven. But it must have been hard for this quiet, reserved man to stomach that his wife’s attentions and ambitions were focused on someone else.

      THE JOHN LILL SAGA was still in its embryo when, in the autumn of 1960, aged twelve and a half – a year younger than my contemporaries and frightened out of my skull – I started my first term at Westminster School. The school, circa 1960–65, was a bit like me, a curious mixture of rebellion, tradition, bloody-mindedness and neurosis, glued together by academic excellence, although the latter was arguably not strictly applicable in my case. It is supposed to have been founded by Queen Elizabeth I in 1560. In fact the school long predated the throne’s most famous redhead. It was Henry VIII who did one of his rare decent deeds, apart from allegedly writing Greensleeves, by sorting out a chaotic Abbey school. After he annexed and plundered the monasteries in 1536 he found himself in a quandary about Westminster Abbey because this was where the monarch was crowned. Its destruction would have made the operation awkward. So the school became part of his Westminster scheme of things.

      The school’s location greatly defines its character. Westminster is at the epicentre of British tradition. It’s where the monarch is crowned. The Queen’s Scholars are by statute the first voices to shout “God Save Whoever” the moment after he or she is crowned. Westminster scholars are to this day allowed to attend debates in the mother of Parliaments. If you were a Scholar in my time you could have skipped the queues at Winston Churchill’s lying in state, witnessed the vote that legalized gay sex and watched the Profumo Affair bring down the Macmillan government.

      On arrival, new boys had to choose two special subjects to top up the usual diet of Maths, French etc. Annoyingly history was not an option. Westminster kids did not take the lower history grades as the senior history master rightly considered them useless. So I wound up doing Ancient Greek which I hated and biology (you had to choose a science-based subject) which was Greek to me.

      For your first two weeks at the new emporium you were allocated a boy a year older than you, who was tasked with sympathetically demonstrating the niceties of the institution in which you were to spend the next few years. In fact you were regaled with tales of the headmaster’s legendary beatings and the sadistic antics of the gym master, Stuart Murray. I was familiar with this bastard. He had practised minor versions of his craft at the Under School and drilled into me a loathing of exercise and sport that was only partially sorted out by a Californian swimming instructress called Mimosa in the 1970s. I don’t think I’m vindictive by nature but when I read in the school magazine one morning years later that Mr Murray had died, I wrote two tunes and had a bottle of wine for lunch.

      I LAY LOW FOR my first term but a plan hatched when I saw the house Christmas pantomime. This struck me as awesomely sophisticated stuff. But none of the music was original. I let the following Easter term pass by but come the summer it was time to strike. I played the card that I had played before. A highlight of the summer term was the annual house concert. I put myself down to play the piano, programme to be announced.

      As the end of pre-Beatle days drew nigh, the British charts were home to a few local curiosities, none more so than Russ Conway. Mr Conway was a rather good-looking gay guy. He played pub piano on TV with a fixed grin, despite having lost two digits in an incident in the Royal Navy which need not detain us. He also wrote several chart-topping instrumentals, most famously “Side Saddle.” John Lill featured a few of these in his pub gigs.

      My offering at the annual house concert was a tune I had knocked up in his style. It had the desired effect. After two encores the housemaster declared that it would make everyone’s fortunes. Next morning I was summoned to see the Head of House. He told me that another senior boy was writing next term’s annual pantomime. He needed some songs. Would I like to meet him? That’s how I met my first lyricist and came to compose my first-ever performed musical. Its name was Cinderella up the Beanstalk and his name was Robin Barrow.

      Any cockiness I acquired was short lived. Buoyed by my belief that I was God’s gift to melody, I wrote a fan letter to none other than Richard Rodgers, courtesy of my father’s publisher Teddy Holmes at Chappell Music. Rodgers actually received it and, to my amazement, invited me to the London opening of The Sound of Music at the Palace Theatre. So on May 19, 1961 I found myself at my first premiere. On my own in a back row of the upper circle, I was overwhelmed by the melodies. However, arrogant little sod that I was, I wrote on my programme, “Not as good as ‘You’ll Never Walk Alone’” beside “Climb Ev’ry Mountain” in the songlist. Even so, I knew I was hearing melodies that would become evergreen from a genius at the top of his game.

      Unfortunately my marvel at this first night tunefest was not shared by the London critics. This was rammed home to me by my so-called school friends when I pitched up the following morning. They had considerately laid out all the reviews for me on the common-room table. “Look what they’ve done to your idol, Lloydy,” they crowed. That’s when I first experienced a feeling that’s taken the shine off many an opening night. But at least I learned my first lesson in creative advertising. One of the reviews read, “If you are a diabetic craving extra sickly sweet things inject an extra large dose of insulin and you will not fail to thrill to ‘The Sound of Music.’”

      “You Will Not Fail To Thrill To The Sound Of Music” adorned the front of the Palace Theatre for eight poetic justice infused years.

      NEXT TERM REHEARSALS FOR Cinderella began. I found myself a junior boy rehearsing the seniors in a show with words written by a school prefect. Unsurprisingly, the first two rehearsals were daunting. In those days the seniority code at any school was quite something. But it was amazing how once we got into the swing of things all this was forgotten. Melodies were offered up, criticized, rewritten, discussed.

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