LITMIR.BIZ

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      Free Ruby

      New Box

      Training

      Poking and Prodding

      No Painting

      More Boxes

      Goodbye

      Click

      An Idea

      Respect

      Photo

      Leaving

      Good Boy

      Moving

      Awakening

      Missing

      Food

      Not Famous

      Something in the Air

      A New TV

      The Family

      Excited

      What I See

      Still There

      Watching

      She

      Door

      Wondering

      Ready

      Outside at Last

      Oops

      What It Was Like

      Pretending

      Nest

      More TV

      It

      Romance

      More About Romance

      Grooming

      Talk

      The Top of the Hill

      The Wall

      Safe

      Silverback

      Glossary

      Author’s Note

      Acknowledgments

      Also by Katherine Applegate

      About the Author

      Books by Katherine Applegate

      About the Publisher

      Hello

      I am Ivan. I am a gorilla.

      It’s not as easy as it looks.

      Names

      People call me the Freeway Gorilla. The Ape at Exit 8. The One and Only Ivan, Mighty Silverback.

      The names are mine, but they’re not me. I am Ivan, just Ivan, only Ivan.

      Humans waste words. They toss them like banana peels and leave them to rot.

      Everyone knows the peels are the best part.

      I suppose you think gorillas can’t understand you. Of course, you also probably think we can’t walk upright.

      Try knuckle walking for an hour. You tell me: which way is more fun?

      Patience

      I’ve learned to understand human words over the years, but understanding human speech is not the same as understanding humans.

      Humans speak too much. They chatter like chimps, crowding the world with their noise even when they have nothing to say.

      It took me some time to recognise all those human sounds, to weave words into things. But I was patient.

      Patient is a useful way to be when you’re an ape.

      Gorillas are as patient as stones. Humans, not so much.

      How I Look

      I used to be a wild gorilla, and I still look the part.

      I have a gorilla’s shy gaze, a gorilla’s sly smile. I wear a snowy saddle of fur, the uniform of a silverback. When the sun warms my back, I cast a gorilla’s majestic shadow.

      In my size humans see a test of themselves. They hear fighting words on the wind, when all I’m thinking is how the late-day sun reminds me of a ripe nectarine.

      I’m mightier than any human, four hundred pounds of pure power. My body looks made for battle. My arms, outstretched, span taller than the tallest human.

      My family tree spreads wide as well. I am a great ape, and you are a great ape, and so are chimpanzees and orangutans and bonobos, all of us distant and distrustful cousins.

      I know this is troubling.

      I too find it hard to believe there is a connection across time and space, linking me to a race of ill-mannered clowns.

      Chimps. There’s no excuse for them.

      The Exit 8 Big Top Mall and Video Arcade

      I live in a human habitat called the Exit 8 Big Top Mall and Video Arcade. We are conveniently located off I-95, with shows at two, four and seven, 365 days a year.

      Mack says that when he answers the trilling telephone.

      Mack works here at the mall. He is the boss.

      I work here too. I am the gorilla.

      At the Big Top Mall, a creaky-music carousel spins all day, and monkeys and parrots live amid the merchants. In the middle of the mall is a ring with benches where humans can sit on their rumps while they eat soft pretzels. The floor is covered with sawdust made of dead trees.

      My domain is at one end of the ring. I live here because I am too much gorilla and not enough human.

      Stella’s domain is next to mine. Stella is an elephant. She and Bob, who is a dog, are my dearest friends.

      At present, I do not have any gorilla friends.

      My domain is made of thick glass and rusty metal and rough cement. Stella’s domain is made of metal bars. The sun bears’ domain is wood; the parrots’ is wire mesh.

      Three of my walls are glass. One of them is cracked, and a small piece, about the size of my hand, is missing from its bottom corner. I made the hole with a baseball bat Mack gave me for my sixth birthday. After that he took the bat away, but he let me keep the baseball that came with it.

      A jungle scene is painted on one of my domain walls. It has a waterfall without water and flowers without scent and trees without roots. I didn’t paint it, but I enjoy the way the shapes flow across my wall, even if it isn’t much of a jungle.

      I am lucky my domain has three windowed walls. I can see the whole mall and a bit of the world beyond: the frantic pinball machines, the pink billows of cotton candy, the vast and treeless parking lot.

      Beyond the lot is a freeway where cars stampede without end. A giant sign at its edge beckons them to stop and rest like gazelles at a watering hole.

      The sign is faded, the colours bleeding, but I know what it says. Mack read its words aloud one day: “COME TO THE EXIT 8 BIG TOP MALL AND VIDEO ARCADE, HOME OF THE ONE AND ONLY IVAN, MIGHTY SILVERBACK!”

      Sadly, I cannot read, although I wish I could. Reading stories would make a fine way to fill my empty hours.

      Once, however, I was able to enjoy a book left in my domain by one of my keepers.

      It tasted like termite.

      The freeway billboard has a drawing of Mack in his clown clothes and Stella on her hind legs and an angry animal with fierce eyes and unkempt hair.

      That animal is supposed to be me, but the artist made a mistake. I am never angry.

      Anger is precious. A silverback uses anger to maintain order and warn his troop of danger. When my father beat his chest, it was

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