LITMIR.BIZ

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as the pale brown gelatinous liquid pooled at the bottom of the counter and over the edge onto the floor.

      ‘I do apologise,’ the boy said with a sarcastic wobble of his head.

      ‘How old are you?’

      ‘I’m nineteen. Twenty in August. You interested, darling?’ He winked at Denise, who just rolled her eyes and continued writing.

      ‘Chuck him in number four while we get this cleaned up,’ Adrian said.

      The constable took Finn Blackwell through to the holding cells.

      ‘I don’t know what’s going on up at that university,’ Denise said.

      ‘What do you mean?’

      ‘Well, last week I had a couple of other incidents up there. A kid was arrested for possession. A couple of disturbances – nothing major, just a little unusual. Then, of course, there was that idiot Toby Hoare, who climbed up the cathedral and fell off.’ She still wouldn’t look Adrian in the eye.

      ‘Look, Denise, about earlier.’

      ‘Please, don’t mention it,’ she said. He could tell from her tone that she meant it.

      ‘I’m going to get this cleaned up,’ Adrian said. He did regret their previous fling a little; he had used her, and he wasn’t proud of it. Just because she’d let him didn’t make it any better. He knew he couldn’t be that person any more. Adrian needed to be better, he wanted to be better and he couldn’t quite put his finger on why.

       Chapter Three

      Imogen felt comfortable in black; it suited her. It seemed strange to have picked out her dress the day before; she could only imagine what her mother would have said about it. An insult disguised as a compliment: how it would look nicer if it was longer, or shorter, or a different colour. But not the way it was, never the way it was. It was the same with everything; Imogen always thought that one day she would be good enough, would do something right. Not today though, never today.

      She tried not to be resentful of her mother on the day of her funeral, but the anger she felt towards her was not something she ever thought would go away. She didn’t know why either, not really. Her mother had made a lot of questionable life decisions, but Imogen wasn’t unhappy with the person she had grown up to be. It seemed unfair that she should feel this way about the one member of her family who had always been there for her, but there was no changing it, there was always just this low level of anger. She couldn’t pinpoint when it had started, either. The mother who raised her probably did the best she could.

      Then there was her absent father, reconnected now but a figment of her imagination for most of her life. She didn’t have all those petty squabbles or embarrassing moments to refer back to, there was no point of reference, no resentment bubbling under the surface for years and years. He was just not there. She knew how difficult her mother was; if she told her father she didn’t want him having a relationship with Imogen, then it explained why he hadn’t been around. Irene Grey had a knack for getting her own way. Imogen felt like maybe she should hate her father for not being there. But she didn’t; she blamed her mother for it instead.

      She smoothed her dress down with the palms of her hands. She didn’t even know if anyone would see her in it, apart from her father, Elias. She hadn’t invited Adrian to the funeral as she felt that it would add an extra dimension of complication to their already complex relationship. She had invited the friends of her mother’s that she knew about and just hoped that word would spread, because her mother’s life was a mystery to her. She probably knew her mother as well as her mother knew her, which wasn’t that well at all. Even though she had visited her frequently, her mum had always been into something new, some new hobby or collection or charity. Imogen had tuned most of it out. She wished her mother was there now and she would listen, she would take an interest in what she was saying and not just fob her off and look for an excuse to leave.

      Imogen imagined Irene telling her that she was putting too much mascara on as she dragged the wand across her eyelashes until they clumped together. Going to a funeral like that was just asking for trouble. Imogen wasn’t a crier, unless you counted movies like Armageddon and The Shawshank Redemption. She had managed to fine-tune her apathy in the real world, but as soon as she was immersed in fiction she seemed to be able to connect to the part of her that had emotion. She was thankful for it. If it wasn’t for those experiences, then she might worry about her own humanity; it was reassuring to know that the idea of a meteor hurtling towards the planet and wiping everyone out was distressing to her.

      When she felt like she had enough war paint on she pinned her hair back, ready to put on her mother’s yellow pillbox hat with black net across the eye. It was in the box of things she had taken from her mother’s place. Just one box from her mother’s hoard, Imogen hadn’t wanted any more than that. There were no great memories among all of Irene Grey’s possessions; she seemed to collect and discard items indiscriminately, and so Imogen had arranged for house clearance to go and sort it out after she had taken the few items she had wanted.

      Imogen picked up the hat and put it on. A touch of colour – her mother hated black. She picked up her phone, unsure whether to text Adrian; he had offered to come, but it just didn’t feel right. There was also the issue of Elias. Being with Elias reminded Imogen of her ex-boyfriend Dean, and she wasn’t over him yet. She had met Dean during a case, before she had even met her father. Her relationship with Dean was incompatible with her job; he didn’t quite operate on the right side of the law. Her father and Dean were more than friends, they were family. Her father operated several businesses and Dean was the person he sent round when all other forms of communication had broken down. Whenever she was with her dad she was aware that he was in contact with Dean and the idea of Adrian being there at the same time was a conflict Imogen wasn’t ready to deal with just yet. She would have to do today alone. It felt wrong to want support anyway; it was her mother’s funeral and Adrian barely knew her mother. She put her phone on silent and chucked it inside her bag.

      The day seemed to move as though she were on fast forward, occasionally stopping to take it all in, but mental absence seemed preferable to being upset. She found herself standing by the grave, her father opposite her, tears in his eyes, genuine love and affection in his disposition. She could feel the emotions creep to the surface as she thought of her parents, apart for all those years, knowing the other would come if they would only ask. How did they wait so long? If they had really loved each other wouldn’t they have just been together? She couldn’t imagine being told you couldn’t be with someone else and actually listening. How could he stand to be apart from the woman he loved? How could he stand to be apart from her, his daughter? A part of her would always resent him for that.

      She brushed her eye with the back of her hand, trying to make it look less like she was wiping away a tear. Why did she care if people saw her crying? Why wasn’t she allowed to cry?

      They lowered the coffin into the ground and the people gathered around for a few seconds, registering the moment until it was over and then dispersing. Back to life.

      Imogen suddenly felt overwhelmed. Was that it? Was her mother really gone? It just didn’t make sense. Irene Grey had been Imogen’s entire family for so long; she was the only thing Imogen could depend on being there no matter what, always where Imogen left her. It felt so wrong to leave her here.

      ‘Imogen,’ Elias said, snapping her out of her thoughts. ‘Come on. Let me buy you a drink.’

      ‘I don’t really feel like it right now, to be honest with you,’ she said. She had managed to avoid spending any meaningful time alone with Elias since she had found out who he was. Somehow, talking to him today felt like a betrayal. Her mother hadn’t wanted them to pursue a relationship, and Imogen had to wonder why.

      ‘Let’s go and raise a glass to your mother. Please.’

      ‘OK,’ she acquiesced; it didn’t feel right to just slip back into real life immediately. She

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