LITMIR.BIZ

       CHAPTER ONE

      ‘JUST LOVE HER, OKAY?’ Emma Hayes told her best friend as exhaustion from giving birth ripped through her aching, painful body and threatened to tip her into sleep. Sleep, where she could hide for a while. Then she’d wake up and still have to face up to the fact she’d had Abbie’s baby for her and now her own arms were empty.

      Abbie didn’t raise her eyes from the precious bundle she held against her breast as she replied, ‘I already do. I’m besotted. Completely. And I love you with all my heart.’

      Aww, sniff. More damned tears. ‘I know you do.’ There’d never been any doubt. Love had been why she’d done this crazy, amazing, scary thing in the first place. ‘This wouldn’t have happened if you didn’t, and if I didn’t reciprocate those feelings.’

      Sitting carefully on the edge of the bed, Abbie leaned into Emma, mindful of the baby cradled between them. ‘I can’t describe my feelings. All the waiting and hoping and now here she is.’ She brushed a kiss over Em’s wet cheek. ‘Thank you so much. Again.’

      Emma lightly wound her arms around her friend and their precious bundle. ‘Stop saying that, okay?’ She didn’t want gratitude; she didn’t need to be thanked. That they’d come through the pregnancy without an argument said a lot for their friendship, but then, it’d been strong since the day they met at Queenstown Primary more than twenty years ago. But at the moment, the only thing she knew for certain was a few minutes to herself were imperative if she was to keep her equilibrium now that she’d given birth. ‘Go be a mum while I get some shut-eye.’

      She needed to fall into the haze filling her head to forget the pain of the birth and remember only the relief that everything had gone well, despite the baby arriving early. Happiness and sadness wound together in her heart at the wonder in Abbie’s eyes as she gazed down on the tiny, beautiful little girl tucked into a pink hospital blanket. A child who’d never know her father; who had been created through artificial insemination.

      One of the two most beautiful girls in the world. Emma’s heart swelled with love and longing. ‘Rosie.’ Suddenly, more than anything in the world, Emma needed to hold her own daughter. Her other daughter, barely five and full of energy and mischief.

      No! Don’t go there. Grace is Abbie’s. Always has been, always will be.

      Snatching up the phone, she texted her mother.

      It’s over. Baby’s gorgeous. Please bring Rosie to me. Xx

      Abbie looked up, her eyes filled with awe and trepidation. ‘This is for real, isn’t it? This is where I get to step up to the mark and be a mum in all ways possible except carrying her myself.’ Tears streamed down Abbie’s cheeks. ‘This is why you gave me such a precious gift. To be a mother.’ Her voice trailed off in a whisper, the last words barely audible.

      ‘Isn’t it the best?’ Emma whispered back around a lump in her throat and a dash of emptiness. But not one regret. Abbie deserved good things. If there’d been a moment when being the mummy tummy might’ve been difficult, Emma suspected it would’ve been minutes ago when the midwife had handed Abbie the baby, not her. But no. She’d been fine about it, hadn’t had a sudden change of heart, so she now reiterated, ‘Grace has been yours since conception.’ Abbie’s and Michael’s, though he would never get to see his daughter, never hold her or know her. His only role in the pregnancy had been to leave sperm in the bank for this very day.

      Emma bit down on a soft smile.

      I did the right thing by them.

      Abbie and Michael had stood by her through the hideous, violent days of her marriage as much as her family had. They’d helped pick up the scattered pieces of her dreams afterwards, had shown with their own strong love for each other that she could make a life with Rosie without looking back. That they could be a family without a man in her life. Not that she’d ever been in the market for a new husband. No, thank you very much. Been there, had the bruises and fractures to show for it.

      Her friends had also made sure she and Rosie never went without fun and laughter. This had been her way of returning the love. Knowing the baby would be living next door in the adjoining apartment would make everything easier to come to terms with. Abbie was not rushing out of Queenstown to some place else in New Zealand to keep her daughter to herself. Though who knew where she might end up if the Scotsman pulled his head out of his backside and found he couldn’t live without Abbie. Right now, she wanted to throttle him for hurting Abbie with his uncertainties.

      They’d always been there for each other on the days when Rosie wouldn’t stop crying and Emma needed a break, or other days where Abbie couldn’t cope with losing Michael. Their friendship was solid, and it would take a hurricane of massive proportions to break it. Today, with a baby and a broken heart to deal with, Abbie needed her support more than ever.

      ‘If only I had that with a man.’

      ‘Had what?’ Abbie asked without taking her eyes off Grace.

      ‘The same trust and sharing and loving and laughs—and tears—you had with Michael.’

      Abbie’s head shot up, surprise widening her eyes. ‘That’s a shift in your thinking.’

      ‘Told you I needed sleep. Must be baby brain.’ She did not want a man in her life. The only man she’d loved unreservedly had developed a pair of fast and hard fists along with a cruel mouth. She wasn’t going to repeat that experience in an attempt to find love. Only the unwise didn’t learn from their mistakes, and Alvin had been a mistake. Definitely better off without a man in her life, and the reason she turned down any—the few—date invitations. Her body was safe, and, more importantly, Rosie was protected. There was already plenty of love in her life—Rosie, Abbie, and her fiercely protective brothers and father, and her ever patient mother. Who needed someone special when she was surrounded by those guys? Talk about greedy. Not everyone got so lucky.

      ‘Any man in particular causing this left-field idea? An emergency specialist by any chance?’ asked her cheeky friend.

      ‘Nixon and I get on fine as friends. I turned him down for a date once.’

      ‘You never told me.’ Abbie eyeballed her, then grinned. ‘Mr Cool isn’t as uninvolved as he’d like you to think.’

      Sigh. ‘Yeah, right. I had enough going on with the pregnancy and Rosie. I didn’t need complications with a man.’

      Abbie smiled sadly. ‘Guess I can’t argue with that today considering Cal has just dumped me.’

      Ping!

      Saved by the phone.

      Nearly there. Princess couldn’t wait any longer. Mum. Xxx

      Then the baby—

      Grace, Emma, her name is Grace.

      The baby gave a small cry and Emma’s breasts tightened painfully. Breasts that did not have a role to play in feeding this gorgeous infant.

      Abbie looked up, panic in her eyes. ‘What now?’

      ‘You feed her. Food, warmth, love.’ Under the blanket, Emma’s hands clenched against the urge to reach for the baby to place her on her breast. No surprise here. Her body didn’t understand it was no longer the mother, despite the repeated messages from her brain. All it heard were the calls from her heart.

      The midwife bustled into the room. ‘Did I hear Baby cry? She’ll be wanting to be fed.’ Her eyes flicked to Emma, and she gave an

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